Never marry a man until you can truthfully answer these 9 questions

There’s a big difference between knowing someone and really understanding them.

This difference is super important when it comes to marriage. Saying “I do” isn’t just about loving someone; it’s about knowing you’re compatible in ways that’ll last.

Asking the right questions helps you get to the heart of things. And having been through the ups and downs of dating myself, I can tell you there are certain questions you need to be honest about before tying the knot.

Here are some things to think about before marrying a guy. It’s not about playing games; it’s about gaining insight that could save you from heartbreak later on.

1) Does he respect you?

Respect forms the bedrock of any strong relationship, especially within the sacred bond of marriage.

It’s more than just exchanging pleasantries—it’s about cherishing each other’s perspectives, time, and aspirations. It’s recognizing that you’re two distinct individuals with your own unique thoughts and emotions.

Often, we confuse politeness with respect. But they’re not interchangeable. Politeness can be superficial, while respect springs from a genuine well of understanding and care.

Let’s be clear: Seeking respect isn’t manipulation—it’s a fundamental need.

And honestly addressing this question might just be the first step toward laying the foundation for a marriage grounded in mutual admiration and esteem.

2) Can we argue productively?

Every relationship has its share of disagreements—it’s how you navigate them that truly matters.

In my past relationship, we seemed stuck in a repetitive cycle of arguments, going nowhere fast. It left us feeling drained and stuck.

But with my husband, it’s a whole different story. Sure, we still have our disagreements, but it’s a different dynamic. We actively listen, validate each other’s feelings, and collaborate on finding solutions.

So, before taking that leap, consider: Can you and your partner argue constructively? Do your conflicts lead to resolution or lingering resentment?

It might not seem like a big deal now, but trust me, it’s a game-changer in the long run.

3) Does he support your passions?

In marriage, it’s not just about sharing a life—it’s about nurturing each other’s individual paths.

Couples who champion each other’s personal aspirations often enjoy more fulfilling and resilient relationships.

Before saying “I do,” make sure your partner doesn’t just love you, but also embraces your passions and ambitions. It’s not just about compatibility; it’s about fostering mutual support and personal growth.

4) Is there mutual trust?

Trust forms the very foundation of a solid relationship. It’s the bedrock upon which all else is built.

With trust, you feel a profound sense of security. You know you can lean on each other when times get tough, and that your partner always has your back.

Conversely, without trust, a marriage can easily succumb to suspicion and doubt. So, before taking that step, ensure trust is firmly in place—it’s non-negotiable.

5) Do our life goals align?

When you’re planning a life together, you must consider blending your individual goals to some extent. You don’t have to have identical dreams, but it helps to be on the same page.

Think of marriage like a partnership, where you’re both working towards a common aim.

In case your life goals are too far apart, it could lead to conflicts down the road. So, before you say “I do,” make sure you’re both heading in a similar direction.

6) Is he kind?

things a high quality man brings to the table in a relationship according to psychology Never marry a man until you can truthfully answer these 9 questions

Kindness may seem like a simple quality, but it carries tremendous significance in a relationship. It’s more than just being pleasant; it’s about having empathy, understanding, and a willingness to prioritize others’ needs over your own.

Before taking the plunge, consider: Is this man genuinely kind? Not just when things are going well, but even when he’s under pressure or feeling worn out?

How does he treat others, from his loved ones to the server at the restaurant—does he show them respect and warmth?

In the grand scheme of things, it’s kindness that acts as the glue holding a relationship together through life’s highs and lows.

Choose a partner who embodies kindness, and you’ll find yourself with someone who stands by you with unwavering love and respect, come what may.

7) Does he make me feel loved?

Love isn’t just a fuzzy feeling—it’s about actions, words, and reliability. It’s about feeling cherished, valued, and secure.

I remember dating someone who would make these big, flashy displays of affection, yet I never truly felt loved. It was like I was just an accessory rather than a real partner.

But with my husband, it’s different. He may not make grand gestures, but his steady care, respect, and attention make me feel loved every single day.

After all, it’s not the grand gestures that count—it’s the everyday acts of love that really make a difference.

8) Are we friends?

Marrying someone who’s not just your romantic partner but also your close friend is crucial for a happy marriage.

When you think about it, friendship sets the stage for a strong and enduring relationship.

Seeing your spouse as a friend automatically means you cherish their companionship, trust, and support, fostering a deep connection and mutual understanding between you both. 

Plus, friendship brings an extra layer of compatibility that goes beyond mere physical attraction, laying a solid foundation for tackling life’s challenges together. 

Ultimately, marrying someone who embodies both romantic love and genuine friendship creates a bond that’s resilient, fulfilling, and built to last.

9) Am I my best self with him?

Ultimately, the person you decide to marry should uplift you in every way. They should ignite your inspiration, provoke growth, and make you feel like you’re flourishing.

So, take a moment to reflect: Am I at my finest with them? Do they make me feel secure, cherished, and respected? Can I envision myself evolving and prospering alongside them?

If your answer is a resounding yes, then you’ve discovered more than just a life partner. You’ve found a supporter, a catalyst for your aspirations, and someone who genuinely celebrates you for being exactly who you are.

It’s about creating the right relationship

Finding the right person to marry is about understanding both yourself and your partner.

Every question you ask about your partner reflects back on you—your emotions, desires, and aspirations. It’s like looking into a mirror that helps you understand what you truly seek in a lifelong companion.

At the end of the day, love is about creating the right relationship, not just finding the right person.

As you reflect on these questions, remember that marriage is a journey of self-awareness and growth. It’s about building a bond that deepens over time, rooted in respect, empathy, and love.

And at the heart of it all is the simple truth: you’re at your best when you’re together.

Picture of Isabella Chase

Isabella Chase

Isabella Chase, a New York City native, writes about the complexities of modern life and relationships. Her articles draw from her experiences navigating the vibrant and diverse social landscape of the city. Isabella’s insights are about finding harmony in the chaos and building strong, authentic connections in a fast-paced world.

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