When I first stumbled upon Sigmund Freud’s famous statement — that all we really need in life is “Lieben und Arbeiten,” or love and work — I was a bit skeptical.
At the time, I was juggling too many responsibilities, worried about money, and feeling a little disconnected from my closest friends.
How could something as grand as life’s meaning be boiled down to just two pillars?
Yet, the more I reflected on his words, the more I realized that love and work (in the broadest sense) truly do form the backbone of a fulfilling life.
We often get caught up chasing other things — status, possessions, fleeting thrills — only to find ourselves drained and still yearning for more.
Freud’s insight suggests that our emotional well-being and sense of purpose hinge on nurturing relationships and finding meaningful work.
But why do these two elements matter so much, and why do so many of us take them for granted?
The cornerstone of connections
When Freud spoke of love, he didn’t limit it to romantic relationships alone.
He pointed to all forms of love — friendships, family bonds, and even the compassion we might show toward strangers or communities.
In other words, love is about connection.
Research in social psychology consistently shows that humans thrive when they feel a sense of belonging. We’re wired to seek it out and wilt when it’s missing.
I’ve certainly seen this play out in my own life.
When I’m feeling isolated — maybe because I’ve been stuck in a work frenzy or I’ve just moved to a new city — the world seems a little grayer.
On the flip side, when I’m regularly in touch with my closest friends, grabbing coffee with colleagues, or catching up with family, something shifts in my overall sense of well-being.
If you’re neglecting your relationships, whether intentionally or just because life’s been hectic, it’s worth reconsidering.
It doesn’t have to mean a massive lifestyle overhaul — often it’s the small gestures, like sending a text to a friend you haven’t spoken to in a while or planning a casual get-together.
These moments of connection may feel ordinary, but they form a bedrock of emotional security and warmth.
And let’s be honest, that feeling of being genuinely cared for is hard to beat.
Meaningful work, or working meaningfully?
Freud’s second pillar — work — often brings to mind a 9-to-5 job or a high-stakes career.
But in the Freudian sense, “work” is broader than just our official occupation. It encompasses any purposeful activity that allows us to contribute, create, and feel a sense of accomplishment.
It might be traditional employment, but it could also be volunteering, side projects, or even caring for your home and family.
I once poured a lot of energy into a career path that looked impressive on paper but felt hollow day to day. I kept pushing because I believed that a “prestigious” job was essential for my happiness.
Yet each achievement left me strangely unsatisfied, because my heart wasn’t in the work.
When I finally pivoted to a different line of work—one that let me write, problem-solve, and engage with people in a way that felt purposeful—I found a deeper, more lasting sense of fulfillment.
In many ways, meaningful work is less about the title or the paycheck and more about aligning with your core values. You might love teaching, coding, designing, cooking, or organizing local events.
Whatever it is, when you’re doing work that resonates with who you are, it stops feeling like a grind and starts feeling like a channel for growth.
Even on tough days, a sense of purpose can make it easier to handle setbacks, because you’re invested in the bigger picture.
Why we overlook these simple truths
If love and work are so essential, why do we often forget or undervalue them?
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Distractions and quick fixes
Our culture tends to glorify instant gratification—shopping sprees, social media likes, or binge-watching a new series. While these can bring short-term enjoyment, they rarely fulfill our deeper emotional needs. It’s easier to scroll through your feed than to reach out to a friend for a genuine conversation, but the latter nurtures your sense of connection in a way that a “like” can’t. -
Societal pressures and ideals
We’re taught to chase shiny markers of success: fancy job titles, big houses, endless pursuits of “more.” That can overshadow the joy we might find in simpler, more meaningful relationships or vocations. Sometimes, we feel we need to prove ourselves before we’ve “earned” the right to enjoy life with the people we love. -
Fear of vulnerability
Love requires openness and trust, which can be scary if you’ve been hurt before. It’s often less risky to focus on external goals—like money or social status—than to invest deeply in personal connections. Yet the emotional risk of love is also what makes it so transformative. -
Expectations around work
There’s a relentless push to hustle non-stop for professional success, and a notion that we can’t afford to slow down or pick a path that doesn’t lead to the highest possible paycheck. But if a high-paying job drains your spirit, it might be costing you more than it’s worth.
Bridging the gap: Nurturing love and work in daily life
Freud’s insight might sound high-level, but it’s grounded in day-to-day actions.
How do you integrate these principles without upending your entire life overnight?
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Start small with relationships: Make a weekly habit of connecting with someone who matters to you. A text, a call, or a simple coffee date can revive a relationship that’s gone stale.
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Reassess your work life: Ask yourself if what you’re doing each day aligns with your long-term values. If not, consider ways to incorporate passion projects—even in small doses—while you figure out a bigger transition.
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Practice gratitude: It’s easy to focus on what’s missing. Try taking note of the supportive people in your life, or the aspects of your work that do feel purposeful. This shift in perspective can remind you of the value you already have.
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Embrace authenticity: Love and work require a genuine version of you. If you’re faking enthusiasm or hiding parts of yourself, it might be time to loosen those defenses. Authenticity in relationships fosters deeper bonds, and authenticity in work fosters true engagement.
Final thoughts
Sigmund Freud’s words may be over a century old, but they resonate deeply in our modern world.
Love and work — two core needs that can so easily be overshadowed by the noise of daily life — remain the foundation for most of what brings us lasting fulfillment.
When we let these two areas of life drift into neglect, we can find ourselves adrift, feeling hollow no matter how many surface-level “wins” we accumulate.
Yet, rediscovering the importance of connection and purpose doesn’t have to mean blowing up your life or dramatically quitting your job.
It starts with small, intentional choices.
You know, something as simple as reconnecting with friends and gradually pivoting toward work that resonates with who you are. Step by step, these actions have a surprisingly profound impact.
At the end of the day, Freud’s insight is simple but powerful: if we continually invest in meaningful relationships and purposeful work, we’re likely to find a wellspring of satisfaction that quick fixes just can’t provide.
And in a world that’s often cluttered with distractions, that might be one of the most freeing realizations of all.
