Hello Evie, I hope you don’t mind this submission. My husband and I are in our late forties and have two children together, the youngest has just left home for university. We married and had children at a young age, and have since invested our time, energy, and livelihoods into making money to support our family and for their tuition. Now that they’ve both left, I fear that my husband and I actually have very little in common anymore. Our house feels big, empty, and lonely, and any time we would’ve spent as a family is now just us two. Dinner time is either us eating separately, or awkward silence after awkward silence. I’m worried that we lost the spark somewhere along the line and failed to continually invested in our relationship. Is there anything I can do to try save my marriage? – Susan, GA
Dear Susan,
Oh, the empty nest syndrome… One minute you’re juggling school runs and soccer practice, the next, it’s just you and your partner staring at each other across a suddenly cavernous dining table. It’s completely natural to feel a sense of loss and disconnect after years of focusing on your kids.
But here’s the thing: that spark you’re missing? It’s not gone, it’s just buried under a mountain of laundry, school fees, and half-eaten sandwiches. You and your husband have spent years building a life together, raising those wonderful children who’ve now flown the coop. That shared history, that foundation, is still there.
Now, it’s time to start dating your husband again. I know, it sounds cheesy, but trust me on this.
Rediscover each other, explore new hobbies, plan date nights. Remember those things you used to love doing together before life got in the way? Dust them off and give them a go.
It won’t happen overnight. It takes time to rebuild intimacy and reconnect after years of focusing on your roles as parents. Be patient with yourselves, and don’t be afraid to communicate openly and honestly about your feelings.
Maybe try taking a cooking class together, or go for a hike in a place you’ve never been before. Heck, even just sitting down with a bottle of wine and some old photo albums can spark conversations and memories you’d forgotten.
Remember, this is a new chapter in your lives, not the end of the story. You have the opportunity to create a deeper, more fulfilling connection with your husband than ever before. It might take some effort, but it’s worth it.
So, go ahead, light those candles, put on some music, and rediscover the love that’s been there all along.
With warmth and encouragement,
Evie
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