To all those going through the soul-crushing heartbreak of finding their twin flame, only to discover they are happily married…I see you.
I feel you.
I feel for you.
I’ve been there and the pain is incomparable.
The knowledge that your soul will never feel complete.
That second half is right there. In front of you. Yet also out of reach.
The missing puzzle piece hiding there in plain sight, breaking your heart just a little bit more each and every day.
It’s a pain like no other.
You will feel like you can’t breathe, can’t function and can’t get on with your day to day.
I’m here to tell you that you can.
While it might not feel like it right now in the thick of the heart break, things will get better.
You can make them better.
You just need to put in the hard work.
The importance of twin flames
Meeting and discovering your twin flame is one of the most powerful soul connections you can have.
I will never forget the intense connection I immediately felt on our first meeting.
It was a complete accident. We met through friends of friends at a BBQ, and the minute we started chatting, I knew something was different.
By the end of the conversation I felt whole.
Like I had found that missing piece and everything now made sense around me.
The truth is, I have had soulmates before. People who have stepped into my life exactly when I have needed them, and being there to support and carry me through life’s ups and downs.
There would always come a time to leave. It felt like the world was falling in on me and nothing would be right again, but I always built myself back up in time.
Finding a soulmate is special.
Finding your twin flame is completely life altering.
We have many soulmates in our lives. They come in and out, depending what stage you are. These relationships can be both intense and powerful – there’s no denying the strong attachment that comes with them.
But they can shift over time.
Go through their own natural ebb and flow to take you from one place to another.
If finding your soulmate is finding ‘the one’, then it’s safe to say that finding your twin flame is finding ‘oneness’.
They are the other half to your soul, and there is only one of them.
And there is nothing more soul crushing than finally meeting your twin flame and discovering they are happily married. This is exactly what happened to me that afternoon at the BBQ.
Wanting to act
I watched him throughout the rest of the BBQ. The way he interacted with his wife was beautiful. He clearly loved and cherished her, there was no doubt about this.
Every smile, every touch, every shared moment felt like a knife digging its way deeper and deeper into me.
My twin flame wasn’t just in a relationship…he was happy.
I wanted to scream then and there.
Shake him and ask him if he feels it too? If he has felt that undeniable connection between the two of us, which is completely and utterly life altering.
My heart was exploding with love and longing for a oneness I thought I would never find. That I had dreamed about day in and day out for most of my life.
The only thing that held me back was the knowledge it would push my twin flame even further away.
Making a scene wasn’t going to break down a happy marriage on the spot. It was just going to push me further and further away from our transcendent love.
As I walked away that day, knowing our paths would cross again, I felt defeated.
That celestial connection between the two of us would keep us tethered to each other in a way that defies gravity. Yet we would never be together.
The only question on my mind at that point in time was: will that longing to be with him and complete the other half to my soul ever leave?
Soul crushing discovery
I know exactly what you’re going through.
You will feel so alone as you navigate through this period in your life. Like no-one else in the world understands you or the pain you’re going through.
I want you to know that I do.
And there are others experiencing this same pain.
You’re not alone.
It’s tempting to just give up. You’ve essentially lost the most important person to you in life. It helps, however, to take comfort in the fact that your twin flame has found happiness elsewhere. This means there’s a chance for you to do the same.
While you won’t experience the same celestial relationship with another, this doesn’t mean you can’t still find your own happiness.
Now’s the time to focus on you and relationship you have with yourself.
Remember, your home to the other half of your soul, so you need to nourish it and build up your aura.
You’re going to find your thoughts constantly stray to your twin flame and what they are doing.
This will lessen in time.
The pain will subside.
It won’t be easy, but you will get to a place of happiness.
Here’s some steps you can take, from one wounded soul to another, to help you move on.
1) Take the time to grieve
The first thing you need to do is push your twin flame from your mind. But in order to do that, it helps to grieve them first. The longer you spend thinking about them and the connection your share, the further you’ll find yourself spiralling into a place of unhappiness.
Trust me, the last thing I wanted to do was push my twin flame from my mind.
He was my other half. The missing piece to the puzzle of my soul and I wanted to cling onto that and never let it go.
But it was affecting my life.
⌄ Scroll down to continue reading the article ⌄
Suffering from Empty and Draining Relationships?
The legendary shaman Rudá Iandê reveals the 3 most important factors to healthy and loving relationships (and to experience them right now).
⌄ Scroll down to continue reading the article ⌄
I was miserable and pining from the minute I woke in the morning to the time I fell asleep at night. My thoughts kept wandering over every single ‘What if’ as I dreamed of a future that just couldn’t be.
I was letting my own life tick by while I pined for what I couldn’t have.
It wasn’t healthy.
Allow yourself to grieve for what could have been. The relationship that you have longed for your entire life.
Right now, you’re experiencing a loss, and you need to mourn that.
Saying goodbye to your mirror soul is saying goodbye to ever feeling complete. It’s not easy.
That deep soul connection is a once-in-a-lifetime experience. Many people go their whole lives without ever finding their twin soul. You have been fortunate enough to find yours, only to have it out of reach.
Process your feelings and mourn your lost future.
Once you have, it’s time to rebuild your life.
2) Pick up a hobby
Of course, you can’t just flick a switch when you’re in mourning. While it would be nice to wake up one day and be fine, it doesn’t work like that.
It’s up to you to move on.
Make the changes.
Pick up the remaining pieces of your soul.
A hobby is the perfect distraction, while also helping you to discover yourself in the process.
Think about what you love to do. Consider a skill you’ve always wanted to learn.
Now’s your chance to invest in yourself.
You might enjoy painting, sport, writing, reading, sewing, crafts…the possibilities are endless.
Commit to something weekly to keep yourself busy and fulfilled.
It will take your mind off your twin flame and give you something to look forward to in your life.
If the first hobby doesn’t work out, find something new. Don’t give up.
This stage of the process is about discovering yourself and it takes time – don’t expect to always get things right the first time.
3) Enjoy life
This is often easier said than done – but it’s an essential step in the process.
You need to get out, meet new people and find your purpose again.
It might be too soon for a long-term, committed relationship, but in the meantime you can simply enjoy the company of others.
Go out and enjoy your freedom and everything it has to offer.
Get excited about life again.
Start booking up the diary with friends and family, while also getting out and taking on new experiences.
It’s another chance to rediscover yourself and what you want in life.
Healing your aura
That spiritual energy floating around you will take a dramatic hit when you find your twin flame unobtainable.
It’s highly likely you will find your aura sending negative energy out into the world as you deal with all the emotions that come from your loss.
This is normal and comes with the grieving process.
Taking the steps above to help you move on is the perfect opportunity to cleanse your aura in the process.
By focusing on yourself and finding happiness again, you will notice the difference in the energy surrounding you. If you still need a little help, you can also try:
- Taking a bath: add some salts or essential oils and enjoy a long soak. Lie back and imagine the negative energy escaping your body. You will feel refreshed and renewed after.
- Walk in the rain: head out into the rain and close your eyes and you feel each drop landing on you. Again, feel all that negativity leaving you and being washed away with the rain.
- Say positive affirmations: write down some positive affirmations that work for your life and repeat them every morning and night. These messages will send the right vibrations through your body and strengthen your energy.
That longing you feel for them is never going to go away.
You have to accept that it’s always going to feel like half of you is missing. Half your soul is unobtainable.
If you hold out hope for a relationship with your twin flame, then you’ll end up holding yourself back.
The best thing you can do is find yourself in a place of acceptance. From here, you can heal and move forward.
Where to next?
Focusing on yourself is a great distraction, but it can also leave you wanting more.
That longing to feel the big, gaping hole in your heart left by your twin flame.
The pain is real and undeniable.
It will feel like a stab in the heart to go out, but one of the best things you can do is go on the hunt for your soulmate.
No, they will never replace your twin flame.
Sadly, they won’t even come close.
But they will act as the perfect bandaid over your heart to help it heal so you can move on.
Only go on the hunt once you’re ready. It takes time to heal and isn’t something you want to rush.
The simple fact is, you can still find the love of your life and settle down – the same way your twin flame has.
While the relationship won’t be the same, it will still be a happy life.
I met my soulmate 5 years after meeting my twin flame.
It took me 3 years simply to heal and find myself again before I was even ready to accept a new relationship into my life.
When I finally was, it took me another 2 years to meet my now husband. The love of my life.
And I can tell you, I am perfectly, completely happy and in love.
We have our own connection that I now couldn’t live without and that longing for my twin flame is now just a wick flicker inside that most days I don’t even notice.
I’m far too busy living a fulfilling and happy life with my man.
I know you’re at the start of your journey right now and have so much pain to work through.
It’s a long journey ahead of you and it won’t be easy.
But it helps to know that there’s a bright future waiting for you. You will get past this period of your life and you will find your own happiness in time.
Persevere and invest in you. It will be worth it.
How this one revelation changed my love life
It’s Justin Brown here, the co-founder of Ideapod, and I have something to confess…
I used to believe I needed to be successful before I deserved to find someone who could love me.
I used to believe there was a “perfect person” out there and I just had to find them.
I used to believe I would finally be happy once I found “the one”.
What I now know is that these limiting beliefs were stopping me from building deep and intimate relationships with the people I was meeting. I was chasing an illusion that was leading me to loneliness.
If you want to change anything in your life, one of the most effective ways is to change your beliefs.
Unfortunately, it’s not an easy thing to do.
I’m lucky to have worked directly with the shaman Rudá Iandê in changing my beliefs about love. Doing so has changed my life forever.
Now, Rudá’s teachings can change your life, too.
As the co-founder of Ideapod, I’m in a unique position to be able to bring Rudá’s teachings to our global community.
We do this by promoting his masterclasses.
One of the most powerful masterclasses he has is the love and intimacy masterclass. In this class, Rudá breaks down his key lessons on cultivating healthy and nurturing relationships in your life.
Thousands of people have already let me know that this masterclass has changed their love lives for the better.
Justin Brown, Ideapod Founder