Like all flames, eventually, the fire burns out.
When my twin flame and I split, coping with the separation was difficult. However, I had always hoped that he would return. So when I recently learned that my twin flame was now dating someone else, I wasn’t sure how I was going to manage the fact that he had moved on.
At first, I felt as if I had lost a part of me. I wasn’t sure how I was going to handle not only his absence, but now I had to process the fact that my twin flame was dating someone else.
How was I going to move on?
In this article, I’m going to share my personal journey of how I was able to identify what a twin flame was and the 5 ways I moved on when I discovered that he was dating someone else.
But first, I think I should briefly dive into what a twin flame is.
What is a twin flame
A twin flame, or mirrored soul, is based on the idea that at the origin of inception, our souls are split into two halves. If you are lucky enough to be reconnected with your twin flame in this lifetime, this relationship is meant to push you towards becoming your authentic self. It isn’t always easy.
Writer Tina Fey, (as cool as her actress namesake) describes a twin flame as:
“A special relationship that brings a deep, meaningful, and often chaotic connection with another human being that you feel immediately upon entering their lives.”
Meeting my twin flame was a mind-blowing experience. It seemed like I had known him my whole life. It was intense, sexual, and heated.
I felt like I had met my “other half”.
I often felt as if we were always on the same wavelength. Good or bad. Our brains had coupled. Neuroscientist Uri Hasson’s describes coupling as “the means by which we understand each other.”
In this epic video, Jason Silva further describes the phenomena of brain coupling as two brainwaves literally syncing up when two people really connect.
This feeling is exactly what I had experienced with my twin flame. We were on the same cosmic wavelength.
However, meeting your mirrored soul, or a reflection of yourself, and riding along a parallel journey, isn’t always a pleasant experience.
What’s your superpower? Our revealing new quiz will help you discover your hidden superpower and unlock your greatest gifts in life. Check it out here.
Putting out the flame
A twin flame relationship isn’t always going to be a positive one. Like I mentioned above, the purpose of a twin flame coming into your life is to push you towards finding your authentic self. This often means facing trauma and deep, inner wounds.
“According to some definitions—and indeed experiences—of a twin flame union, you can each bring out the worst in each other. You mirror each other’s darkest fears and deepest insecurities; and you trigger the sh*t out of each other in the name of growth. The result? Constant questioning, crippling self-doubt, and what feels like endless anxiety.”
When I had experienced my twin flame separation, I felt lost. I wasn’t sure how I was going to be able to move on without my partner. He was my “other half”.
So when I was confronted with the news that he had started dating someone else, I had to take a minute to figure out how I was going to process things in a healthy way.
How did I move on?
Fortunately, with the help and guidance I received in an incredible workshop by world-renowned Shaman Rudá Iandé, I adopted 5 methods to help me not only heal from my twin flame separation, but also to quickly move on and rise up when I learned he was dating someone else.
In fact, these 5 methods not only allowed me to accept that he had moved on, I had also adopted a feeling of gratitude.
Here are 5 ways to move on when your twin flame is dating someone else
1) Recognize you are complete
Perhaps the greatest lesson that I learned after I discovered that my twin flame was dating someone else, is that I am complete and entirely whole.
“At the end of the day darling, you are enough. You always have been. It may have taken you awhile to see that and to finally reach this place, but you have always been enough.”
– Lacey Ramburger
The biggest disconnect I have found with twin flame labeling is that we restrict our identity into two categories: complete and incomplete. And we think we can only become whole when we pair with someone else.
But, we are complete just as we are. And guess what? So is our twin flame. Yes, they are complete and whole without us.
When I first made the decision to embrace the idea that I am whole without a twin flame, or any partner, a curious thing happened. I began to feel genuine compassion and care not just for myself, but for him as well.
I started thinking of him as someone who is on his own journey and saw our trauma as a pathway towards healing.
When I adopted the idea that I was whole and complete, without my twin flame, I also noticed that my values and convictions became more pronounced. I became reignited with my passions and I began meeting like-minded people who were in alignment with my ethos.
Marisa Donnelly for Thought Catalog writes:
“When you realize that you are a whole, complex, and strong person, you begin to put value in your thoughts, your perspectives, and your beliefs. You start to notice what is important to you … And you passionately support those things.”
Ideapod founder, Justin Brown, has an interesting take on twin flame labeling and even goes so far as to contend that we may have more than one twin flame. Check out the video below to hear his personal journey of discovering his twin flame(s).
2) Look for lessons learned in your relationship
When I discovered that my twin flame was dating someone else, I knew that in order to move on, I needed to look for silver linings.
I needed to look for lessons that our relationship taught me.
One of the most important lessons I learned from my twin flame was that conflict is necessary. So often we are afraid of conflict as it makes us uncomfortable and activates our fight or flight response. We become conflict-avoidant because we don’t like the feeling of being out of control or at odds.
This certainly was the case with me and my twin flame.
Every time conflict would arise I would begin to clam up. My heart would race and I would be overcome with a sense of panic. I would either react and say things out of fear or anger or he would throw proverbial rocks to try to deflect the situation. We were both scared of conflict.
But there is a difference between peaceful and aggressive conflict. Peaceful conflict is necessary for change and for growth.
In her article for GreaterGood, author Christine Carter writes:
“…conflict fuels change, it is also what makes life interesting… Conflict is entirely necessary for intellectual, emotional, and even moral growth.”
In her now-viral TedTalk, relationship expert Annie Lalla delivers a powerful message on the importance of conflict in a relationship where she states:
“Conflict is absolutely normal and integral and important for a relationship to thrive”.
Adopting the understanding that I was able to learn valuable lessons from my twin flame relationship, allowed me to move on with gratitude and grace.
3) Cut energetic cords
When I learned that my twin flame was dating someone else, I knew that I needed to work to cut the energy cord I still had with him.
Spiritual teacher and author Abby Wynne describes an energy cord as:
“… an energetic connection between two individuals, a little like the umbilical cord…Cords can create an enhanced psychic connection between the two individuals, it can also be draining, as someone usually takes the energy and the other person gives. This happens either unconsciously, or subconsciously. People who are connected by energy cords usually feel closer together, but sometimes it can feel like you’re too close.”
Our relationships can be sources of stress, both physical and mental which can keep us trapped in negative emotions and thinking patterns.
When we form an attachment to someone we begin to develop an energetic connection, or cord. If the relationship grows unhealthy, this cord can seemingly become very heavy and weighted.
When my twin flame and I separated and I learned he had started seeing someone else, I was constantly thinking of him. Sometimes without conscious intent. It was almost as if I was being pulled towards him.
This type of energy cord can block your mind from productive action and growth. It can take over your thoughts and keep you tethered to your past and people that are no longer serving your best self.
Discovering my personal power through the free masterclass I took with Shaman Rudá Iandé, gave me the tools I needed to be able to reflect on not just the energetic cord I had with my ex, but with all of my friends and acquaintances.
I realized that in order to move on, heal, and grow, I needed to cut a few cords that were fostering cycles of negative thought and holding me to my past.
Motivational speaker and author Gabby Bernstein has an amazing meditation for healthy cord-cutting.
Once I was able to release myself from these invisible cords, I felt lighter and at peace. I didn’t wish my ex and his new partner any ill feelings. In fact, I felt enormous gratitude and care for him. Cutting emotional energy cords allowed me to move on.
“Invisible threads are the strongest ties.”
– Fredrich Nietzche
4) Create a wellness practice
One of the most important ways I moved on after learning that my twin flame had started dating someone else, was by diving deep into my wellness practice.
I know this phrase seems like another buzz term, but there are actual science-backed benefits to establishing a positive mental health practice.
I’ve been a meditation practitioner for years, have a certificate in plant-based nutrition, and know firsthand how having balance between your body and mind is paramount to emotional wellbeing.
However, despite my established knowledge in wellness, I still found myself feeling attached and a bit insecure learning that my ex had moved on. I needed to search for deeper ways to heal and create positive emotions for myself.
I then discovered breathwork.
Breathwork refers to any type of intentional breathing technique used to improve your mental, physical, and spiritual wellbeing.
I was introduced to this as a healing modality shortly after my twin flame and I separated and it was entirely transformative. While yoga, traditional mediation, and eating well were all wonderful practices that helped strengthen my wellbeing, breathwork took things a bit deeper.
With breathwork, you learn to tap into trapped emotions and release them through active and conscious breathing. After my first Shamanic breathwork class, I immediately noticed the results.
I felt as if the heaviest parts of me were being released like clouds of smoke exiting my body. It was intense and busy but at the same time peaceful and comforting.
Establishing a regular wellness practice with the incorporation of breathwork, helped me not just move on from my twin flame, but it also helped foster a stronger sense of self-worth and acceptance.
5) Cultivate self love
The bottom line is this: when you’re trying to move on from your twin flame, whether or not he’s dating someone else, do and think of things that cultivate a sense of self-love. In other words, put yourself first.
This is not selfish.
You are your own best partner so if you’re not showing up 100% for yourself, not only will you not heal and move on, you won’t give yourself permission to grow.
Know that you are whole.
Reflect on your past relationship(s) with kindness.
Surround yourself with positive energy.
Find balance for your mind, body, and spirit.
And trust that the person you need to love and care for the most, is yourself.
“Be gentle with yourself, learn to love yourself, to forgive yourself, for only as we have the right attitude toward ourselves can we have the right attitude toward others.”
– Wilfred Peterson
Author and founder of Ideapod Justin Brown has a lovely and simple self-love meditation available here.