10 signs to worry if your husband is too friendly with a coworker

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It’s common to witness your spouse spending a lot of time with their colleagues outside office hours, right?

In today’s world, the boundaries between work and personal life tend to be blurred. 

However, it’s also common for wives to get jealous of people their husbands work with. And I believe they do have a reason!

Believe it or not, about 40% of employees have colleagues who had affairs at work. And that’s indeed a huge number!

If you also have suspicions about your husband being too friendly with his coworker, here are 10 signs to worry about if your husband is too friendly with a coworker.

1) Your husband is secretive about his work life

Has your husband recently become secretive about his work life? Or does he avoid talking about his coworkers or his work in general?

Just think about it.

Maybe your husband is just busy at work and wants to spend more time with you. Or maybe he has been keeping his distance from you for a reason.

In either case, it’s natural for you to worry about this sudden change in his behavior.

Why?

Because being secretive about his work life is one of the signs that your husband might be having an affair with a coworker.

I mean, if nothing is happening, then why should he hide it from you?

That’s why I consider it a red flag!

So, here’s the thing:

If your husband is too friendly with a coworker, then he might be hiding something from you.

Your husband might be spending too much time with somebody he shouldn’t. They might be hiding something from you! If your husband is close to a coworker, he might be drawn to that person.

But you know what?

You should also pay attention to what he is not telling you about this relationship.

If there is something that he does not wish to share with you, then there must be a reason why. What if it’s completely related to his work? Maybe something confidential or hard to explain?

Just try to figure out the reasons why he’s being so secretive, but don’t forget that there might be something more to this friendship than meets the eye.

2) He avoids talking about his colleagues

One of the signs that being secretive about his job might mean that your husband is having an affair with a coworker is when he avoids talking about his colleagues.

Maybe your husband has suddenly become uncomfortable talking to you about his coworkers. And you start to wonder why, right?

Well, here’s the thing:

The statistics about office romance tend to be terrible! In fact, more than half of the employees have admitted that they had romances in the office. And that’s despite the company’s policies when it comes to office romances!

Why am I saying this?

Because you have the right to talk to your husband about his office life. And if he avoids talking about his work colleagues, this might be a sign that he is hiding something.

There could be a reason why your husband is not comfortable talking about his coworkers. Maybe he has become too close with one of them? Or maybe he has been keeping a secret from you?

Either way, if your husband avoids talking about his work colleagues, this is definitely something that you should pay attention to!

How can you check if this actually happens?

When you ask him about his coworkers, does he tend to avoid the topic?

Does he say things like “I don’t have time for this!” Or “I’m too busy for this!”?

Does he give the impression that he doesn’t want to be bothered by these questions?

If so, then it’s time to worry!

3) He talks too much about his coworkers

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Guess what?

Even though being secretive about his work life is a sign that your husband might be having an affair with a coworker, talking too much about his work colleagues is also a sign of something fishy!

I know this sounds confusing, but that’s the truth!

The reason why this happens is that he’s become too friendly with his coworker. So he naturally wants to share everything he knows with you. But there’s a problem here.

The fact that he’s talking too much about his coworkers might be because he’s trying to distract you from something else that might be going on.

So if your husband talks too much about his work colleagues, this is definitely something that you should pay attention to!

How can you check if this is actually happening?

When you ask him about his coworkers, does he tend to go on and on about them? Or does he say things like “I’m really excited to work with new people!”?

Does he give the impression that he wants to tell you more than what you need to know?

If so, then it’s time to worry!

If that’s the case with you, you’ll probably start to wonder: how can you know for sure that it’s too much?

I believe that in order to understand whether something is really going on or it’s just a coincidence, you need to look at the details from a completely different perspective.

And to do so, this mind-blowing free video might be helpful. In this relationships masterclass, the renowned shaman Rudá Iandê shares his ideas about love and intimacy and helps us to construct a satisfying relationship.

So, if you’re tired of doubts and the frustrating relationship you have with your husband, I’ll leave a link for you:

Click here to watch the free video.

4) He keeps on telling you how great she is at her job

This one is also related to the previous point.

Does your husband have one particular female coworker who he always talks about?

Well, I’m sure that you’ve heard this one before. And I’m also sure that this one is going to be a huge red flag for you!

But what’s interesting here is that your husband is talking about her, and not the other way around.

So he’s the one who’s doing most of the talking, not her. And this gives him a great opportunity to build up some kind of relationship with you without having to mention her name.

I mean, what would you think if your husband started to talk about his male coworker? Would it be something weird? Or would it be something normal? Or maybe even something suspicious?

One thing is for sure here: it’s not natural to talk about a female coworker so much, and it’s definitely not normal to do so.

But he keeps on telling you how great she is at her job and how she’s “the best employee they’ve ever had.”

Yes, I’m not denying that she might as well be the best employee they’ve ever had. But it’s also one of the signs to worry about if your husband is too friendly with a coworker.

So, try to ask questions about her, get deeply involved in the conversation, and try to find out more about her.

Because at the end of the day, that’s what you really want, isn’t it?

5) Your husband gets defensive when you ask about his coworker

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Okay, you can easily ask your husband questions about his coworker and work experiences in general. But what if he gets defensive when you do so?

This is a huge red flag!

And it’s another sign that your husband is too friendly with his female coworker.

Now, I’m not saying that you should interrogate him and ask him about his every move.

But still, it’s important to be able to ask questions from time to time. And if he gets defensive every time you do so, then there’s definitely something wrong going on here!

Why am I so sure?

Well, if your husband is too friendly with a coworker, and you ask him about his colleague, then he gets defensive and starts ignoring you, then there might be something going on between him and the colleague.

One of the reasons why he might be trying to avoid you is because he doesn’t want to talk about his issues at work with you.

Because you’ll easily notice that there’s something going on between him and a colleague.

And it’s probably not something good.

6) He always talks badly about his current job and it seems to bother him a lot

Want to know what your husband’s defense mechanism is whenever he gets too friendly with a coworker?

To start talking badly about his current job. As simple as that.

If your husband is too friendly with a coworker, and he constantly talks about his job and how it bothers him a lot, then there might be something going on between him and a colleague at work.

And that’s not a good sign! Because chances are that something is going on.

The truth is that speaking negatively about things that we’re actually excited about is one of the ego defense mechanisms. It occurs when we try to rationalize our positive feelings and turn them into negative ones.

This is why we often see people who are too friendly with their coworkers, or friends, and they always talk badly about their current job or studies.

A good example of this is when a person constantly talks negatively about their current job, and it seems to bother them a lot. This is a sign that he’s trying to turn his positive feelings into negative ones.

And guess what?

This is exactly how you can explain your husband’s overly negative attitude about his work.

He’s just trying to rationalize his friendly behavior with a coworker and not to feel bad whenever he’s with you.

So, try to be careful about this sign because it often indicates that something is going on between him and a colleague.

7) You feel ignored by your husband

The other side of the fact that he has a positive attitude toward his coworker is that he simply ignores you.

He avoids you at all costs!

Sounds familiar?

Let me show you how it works.

If your husband is too friendly with a coworker, then he might be trying to avoid you because he doesn’t want to be around you while he is dealing with his job-related issues.

The result?

You feel ignored, and it makes you angry and upset. And I totally get your frustration because being ignored by your own husband isn’t something that anyone else deserves.

And you don’t deserve to be avoided and ignored either!

But let me ask you a question before we move on.

Do you feel that you don’t deserve this kind of attitude from your husband? Or maybe you’re blaming yourself for judging him and doubting his behavior.

If you’re into self-doubt, then I know something that might help. Recently, I read an inspiring eBook called “Manifesting Love: How to Unleash The Superpower That’s Deep Within You.”

In this book, the author, Tiffany McGee, explains how to get into the manifestation journey.

But to be honest, that’s not something that inspired me. Instead, I was fascinated by her ideas of self-worth and embodying the love you deserve.

So, if you feel ignored by your husband and you judge yourself because you’re worried about his attitude towards a female coworker, reading this book might help you to realize that you actually deserve to receive love from others!

8) He’s recently become indifferent to you and your relationship

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Okay, ignoring you is one thing, but outright shutting you out and not caring about your relationship is another.

And if he’s shutting you out, then that could be a sign of his feelings towards you, or it could be a sign that he’s ignoring your relationship.

You see, being indifferent towards you while still being in a good mood, in general, might be a sign that he’s trying to avoid you because he doesn’t want to talk about his relationship issues with you.

In simple words, if your husband is too friendly with a coworker, he might be trying to avoid you because he doesn’t want to talk about his work-related issues with you.

His feelings towards you are no longer the same as they used to be. That’s why he doesn’t care about your relationship anymore. He’s just not interested in you anymore.

And this is what’s going on, I bet that your husband is not as affectionate as before.

So, have you noticed that your husband is not as affectionate toward you as he used to be? Does he still kiss you or hug you in public? Or does he still hold your hand when you go out? 

If the answer is no, then there’s a chance that your husband has found someone else, and he’s not being affectionate with you because his attention is focused on another person.

And you know what’s more?

He’s not making any effort to make you feel better either.

And I think that this is definitely something that you should pay attention to!

Because if your husband doesn’t do anything to cheer you up when things get tough, then this is something that might be a huge red flag for you!

9) He’s not making any effort to make you feel better

Want to know what is even worse than being indifferent towards you and your relationship?

Not making any effort at all to make you feel better!

I’m not saying that he should forget his work and do everything in order to help you feel better. I mean, it’s not always possible, and you can’t demand such a thing even from your husband.

Besides, there are some men who say that they love their wives but don’t show it.

However, there are also some men who say they love their wives but don’t talk about it.

And there’s one thing that all these men have in common: they don’t make any effort to make their wives feel better when things get hard.

And I think that this is definitely something that you should pay attention to!

Because if your husband doesn’t do anything to cheer you up when things get tough, then this is something that might be a huge red flag for you!

And what would be even worse here is if he didn’t do anything at all…

You see, I’m sure that a lot of women will be able to relate to this point. Because if your husband doesn’t make any effort at all to cheer you up when things get tough, then this can sometimes be a sign of an abusive relationship!

And if he doesn’t care about how you feel and about how your life goes on, then this might be one of the signs to worry about! Because we’re talking here about a man who has no respect for women in general…

So why would he respect you?

Just pay attention here because if your husband stopped trying to make you feel better and has become too friendly with a coworker, it might be another red flag for your relationship.

10) He stays late at work most of the time

And let me introduce the final sign, which is also probably the most common one when it comes to work infidelity.

When men stay late at work, they usually tend to avoid their wives. They feel comfortable at work because of someone else.

And that’s why they don’t feel the need to go home right away. They just stay at work, and they leave the office after their shift ends.

They don’t want to go home because they prefer to be with someone else rather than their wife!

So, if your husband is staying late at work most of the time, it could mean that he’s spending more time with someone else than you, or it could mean that you should be worried about your relationship!

This is a sign that your husband is not interested in you anymore, and his friendly attitude towards a coworker might be a sign that he’s trying to avoid you.

Your husband might be getting too close to his colleague, which is not good for your marriage.

Why?

Because men usually don’t stay late at work to avoid their loving wives who are waiting at home for them.

Of course, they might be doing this because they’re actually too busy at work, but then why does he avoid your questions about work when he has a chance?

Just think about it and if there’s nothing that can rationalize his behavior from your perspective, then it’s probably the right time to start worrying about your marriage.

Can a married man be friends with a female coworker?

Now after reviewing all of these signs to worry if your husband is too friendly with a coworker, you might be wondering if it’s ever possible for a man to be friends with a female coworker on the job.

The answer is yes, and it’s totally healthy for men to have friends at work. No matter the gender, men usually like to have friends at work.

But if you notice that your husband’s behavior towards a female coworker has changed, then it might be a sign that he’s cheating on you.

I mean, his friends should respect your relationship, whether they’re male or female. If this is what you feel, then there’s nothing to worry about.

But if your husband is too friendly with his coworker and most of these signs are present, then it might mean something bad for your relationship.

This is why I suggest you pay attention and try to find out exactly why your husband started being so friendly with this female coworker and how much time they spend together at work. 

One thing I’m totally sure about is that before starting to worry about your relationship, you should determine what’s actually happening.

Maybe it’s just a simple friendship with a coworker and you’re stressing out over nothing while your husband is being completely honest and loyal to you.

So, think about it before jumping to any decision.

Final words

I hope that these signs will help you to understand your husband’s behavior better and help you to realize what his friendship with a coworker actually means for your relationship.

Of course, every man might behave differently, but these are some of the most common signs and behaviors when it comes to infidelity at work.

So, keep an eye on these signs, and if you notice any of these in your relationship, then you need to do something about it. Otherwise, there might be trouble brewing in your relationship.

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Nato Lagidze

Nato is a writer and a researcher with an academic background in psychology. She investigates self-compassion, emotional intelligence, psychological well-being, and the ways people make decisions. Writing about recent trends in the movie industry is her other hobby, alongside music, art, culture, and social influences. She dreams to create an uplifting documentary one day, inspired by her experiences with strangers.

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