“My girlfriend called her ex-boyfriend”: 10 things you simply must consider if this is you

Have you found out that your girlfriend called her ex-boyfriend?

This situation is never fun, nor easy.

But don’t despair just yet, there are different reasons why your girlfriend might have called him.

Here are 10 things you should consider when your girlfriend calls her ex-boyfriend.

1) What is your girlfriend’s reason for calling him?

The first thing to consider is what your girlfriend’s reason for calling him is.

Maybe she is trying to start a new relationship with him, or maybe she is just being friendly, don’t jump to any conclusions!

Whatever the reason might be, it’s important that you know what your girlfriend’s reason is so that you can react accordingly.

If your girlfriend is calling her ex-boyfriend because she is unhappy with you, it’s obviously a big red flag.

But you don’t know that until you ask.

The number one key is always communication. Talk to her about what is going on and why she is calling him so that she has a chance to explain herself.

If she does not want to explain herself, then you know for sure that there is something wrong.

It is best to know what your girlfriend’s reason is before you confront her.

When you ask her about it, try not to sound hurt, judgemental, or mad.

These things will immediately put her in a defensive position, feeling like she has done something wrong, even if her motive was innocent.

Instead, try to sound calm, understanding, and compassionate.

If you can remain calm and cool throughout this conversation, you will be able to show your girlfriend that what she is doing is not wrong and that you can talk about it openly.

2) Do you feel secure in the relationship?

The next thing to consider is how you are feeling in your relationship.

Do you feel like your relationship is stable and secure?

A stable and secure relationship is one in which both people understand each other, care for each other, and are able to respect one another.

There are a variety of methods that can be used to assess whether or not a relationship is stable.

Signs of a stable relationship are:

  • seeing your partner regularly
  • enjoying spending time with them
  • feeling like you know what it feels like to be loved by your partner
  • having regular discussions about important topics together (even if they don’t always go as planned)
  • communicating openly about any problems you face
  • maintaining communication patterns even when there’s stress between you two

If you’re not sure, then it’s important to consider if your girlfriend feels safe in her relationship with you and if that has anything to do with her calling her ex.

You feeling stressed about your girlfriend calling her ex can also stem from insecurity because you don’t feel safe in the relationship with her.

If you feel like you’re not secure enough in the relationship with your girlfriend, you should consider talking to her about it.

When talking to your girlfriend about this issue, try not to sound judgmental or hurt as she will likely get defensive when you do.

Instead, try to stay calm and open and show her that you can discuss this openly.

3) How will you handle this situation?

The next thing to consider when your girlfriend calls her ex-boyfriend is to think about how you will handle this situation.

There is no easy answer when your girlfriend calls her ex-boyfriend.

You’ll need to handle the situation in a way that is respectful and understanding.

You see, you could try to talk to her about it, but it’s best if you never contact the ex directly.

You could try to remain civil and supportive, but you must be honest with her about your feelings.

If you choose to confront her, make sure you do so in a calm and respectful manner.

It’s important that you take care of yourself first, and then take care of your relationship with your girlfriend.

This is not an easy situation to be in, but you have the strength to handle it in a way that is mature and calm.

And if you find it hard to find strength by yourself, maybe speaking to a professional relationship coach might help.

At least, that’s something I tried and I was surprised by the unique insights I received from a certified life coach from Relationship Hero.

Relationship Hero is a hugely popular relationship coaching site because they provide solutions, not just talk. 

So, if you’re looking for ways to turn things around for yourself, maybe this is something that might work for you.

Click here to check them out.

4) Are you still interested in being with your girlfriend?

Another thing to consider is whether or not you are still interested in being with your girlfriend or if she has betrayed your trust by calling her ex.

This is a tough decision to make, and you may need to think about it for a few days.

You’ll have to consider your feelings for your girlfriend, as well as what you want out of the relationship.

If you are still interested in her, then ask yourself if you can trust her.

Does she really care about you or is she just using this as an excuse to get back together with her ex?

Check in with her regularly and ensure that you’re still on the same page.

It may be difficult, but it’s important to be honest about your feelings.

If your girlfriend is still interested in being with her ex-boyfriend, she may need some space.

The best thing you can do is to pull away a bit yourself.

5) What do you want to know from your girlfriend?

When you find out your girlfriend is calling her ex, you need to figure out what you want to know from her.

How many details do you want to find out? What do you want her to disclose to you?

Try to stay calm and respectful when you ask her any questions.

Your girlfriend may not be able to tell you all the details, but she will give you some information.

This information can help you decide whether or not she is still interested in being with her ex-boyfriend.

Sure, you should stay calm and respectful when talking to her, but you also have a right to be angry and upset.

Especially if she called him behind your back.

She has betrayed your trust, and you need to express your feelings.

You don’t have to make a big deal about it, but it’s important that you let her know how you are feeling.

You may want to consider the possibility of moving on from her if you feel like you can’t trust her anymore.

If you can respect yourself enough to be ready to move on from someone you can’t trust, your overall relationships will improve drastically.

6) How often is she talking to her ex-boyfriend?

The next thing to consider is how often is your girlfriend talking to her ex?

Questions like:

  • Does your girlfriend call her ex-boyfriend often?
  • Is it a regular occurrence for her to talk to him?
  • Do you think she’s trying to patch things up with him?
  • What are the reasons behind why she might be contacting him again?

will most probably pop into your mind.

pexels keira burton 6147117 "My girlfriend called her ex-boyfriend": 10 things you simply must consider if this is you

In order to figure out the answers to these questions, you need to talk with your girlfriend.

You can ask her in person or you can send her a text message or call her.

She may have a good reason for contacting him, so don’t jump to conclusions and assume she’s cheating on you.

She might have just reached a point where she wants some closure with her ex-boyfriend.

You may not be able to control your feelings, but you can control how you react to this information.

Try to stay calm and wait till you know all the facts before making a decision.

7) Can you communicate openly with your girlfriend about how this is making you feel?

Ask yourself: can you communicate openly with your girlfriend about how this is making you feel?

If you’re not sure how to handle this situation, it’s best to communicate openly with your girlfriend.

This will help you both stay in communication and avoid any misunderstandings.

If you can’t talk to your girlfriend about how this is making you feel, try sending her a text or writing her a letter. These letters might help you manage the situation better.

Communication shows a lot about the state of a relationship. If you can’t openly express your feelings, something is going wrong.

If you have a strong relationship and both of you are communicating well, then the situation is manageable.

Think about it: if you have good communication, you can always ask her what she is thinking or feeling.

This will help you to understand the situation better and to deal with it in the best possible way.

If your relationship is getting worse, and you’re not able to communicate well with your partner, then things are getting out of hand.

You need to figure out what’s happening.

Is there something going on between you two?

Can’t talk about it? Then there is the problem.

If you want to save your relationship, start with communication.

8) How does your girlfriend react when you bring up this issue?

The next thing to consider is how your girlfriend is reacting when you bring up the issue.

Your girlfriend will likely react in different ways when you confront her about why she is still calling her ex.

Is she angry?

Does she get defensive?

Is she nervous?

Does she just not care?

If you don’t know how your girlfriend is feeling, then you might be in for a surprise. You need to ask her politely.

You see, in order to find out if this occurrence is a big deal or not, you need to monitor how she reacts to you bringing it up.

If she is nonchalant about it, chances are the contact means nothing and she truly loves you.

On the other hand, if she gets mad and defensive, then this might be a sign of something going on.

You need to find out what’s going on by asking her straight up.

The sooner you talk with your girlfriend about it, the better.

This will help you fix any problems within the relationship (if there are any).

9) Are there any other issues in your relationship?

If your girlfriend is calling her ex-boyfriend, it might be because there are other issues in your relationship that she’s been keeping hidden from you.

Perhaps she’s been cheating on you?

Or maybe she’s just not happy with you anymore?

Maybe your love life has taken a rapid decline?

Whatever the reason, it’s important that you take a look at all of the other issues in your relationship and try to work through them.

And the good news?

If there aren’t really any other issues, chances are good that the call with her ex meant nothing!

10) Can you come to a compromise?

If your girlfriend calls her ex-boyfriend, it’s important that you attempt to come to a compromise.

Be honest with each other and make sure that you’re still on the same page.

Your girlfriend may see the situation from a different light and doesn’t think calling her ex is wrong.

When you talk about what is happening, you can come to a compromise, for example:

“It’s okay for you to call your ex, I would just like to know when you do it so that I don’t overthink when I randomly see his name on your phone.”

It’s important that you reach an understanding so that you can continue living in a happy, healthy relationship.

Don’t lose your cool

Whatever you do next, try not to lose your cool.

As I mentioned earlier, there are hundreds of reasons why your girlfriend might be calling her ex, and your relationship with her might have nothing to do with that at all!

Be confident in what you have to offer and feel secure in your relationship.

This all relates back to the incredible advice I learned from Kate Spring.

She’s a relationship expert who has transformed dating and relationships for thousands of men.

One of the most valuable things she teaches is this:

Women don’t choose the guy who will treat them the best. They choose guys they are deeply attracted to at a biological level.

Women don’t like assholes because they’re assholes.

They like assholes because those guys are confident and they give off the right signals to them. The sort of signals a woman can’t resist.

What if I told you that you could quickly learn the right signals to give to women – and you absolutely don’t need to become an asshole in the process?

Check out this free video by Kate Spring.

She reveals the most effective method I’ve come across to make women obsessed with you (whilst remaining a good guy).

Anna Scheucher

Anna Scheucher

Freelance writer specializing in holistic health, wellness, and psychology. Check out my blog to find out more https://www.fullyholistic.com/!

Enhance your experience of Ideapod and join Tribe, our community of free thinkers and seekers.

Related articles

Most read articles

Get our articles

Ideapod news, articles, and resources, sent straight to your inbox every month.