Hi Evie. My boyfriend (24M) has been going on about applying for a reality TV show where couples are tested on their loyalty and commitment to one another. Without naming names, I’m sure you’ve seen this show before or at least heard of it. He’s been working out and trying to build his online followers to get a better chance of being accepted on the show, but I really don’t see the point in it. Most times, people end up being unfaithful and I don’t see why we need to put ourselves through that (especially on TV). He says it’ll be an adventure but I deep down think he just wants to get famous and have fun. I’m younger than him (22F) but I already feel like settling down and working towards our future. How can I get through to him that a decision like this would probably be the end of us? I’ve told him numerous times that I’m not into the idea but he won’t give up on it. – Marta, UK
Dear Marta,
Thanks for writing in. I’m going to be brutally honest here -your boyfriend’s obsession with this reality TV show is a huge red flag. It’s not just about the show—it’s about what it says about where his head’s at. He’s putting his ego, his image, and a shot at five minutes of fame above the relationship you’re trying to build together.
You’re absolutely right to be worried.
These shows are designed to stir up drama, push boundaries, and create chaos for entertainment. If he’s willing to drag your relationship into that mess for what he’s calling an “adventure,” it’s pretty clear that his priorities aren’t where they should be. Let’s be real: it’s not about testing loyalty. It’s about setting up situations that make cheating almost inevitable, all for the sake of ratings.
Your gut feeling is spot on. His desire to be on this show isn’t just a harmless fantasy—it shows that he’s more interested in chasing attention and excitement than in building something real with you. That’s not the mindset of someone who’s ready to settle down or seriously work towards a future together.
You’ve already told him how you feel, and he’s still not backing down. That’s a pretty clear sign of where he stands. If he’s more into the idea of being famous than he is into protecting your relationship, you’ve got a real problem on your hands.
So here’s the deal: stop trying to convince him. Instead, set a boundary. Let him know that if he chooses to go down this path, he’s choosing it over you. There’s no middle ground here. You deserve a partner who values you and your relationship more than the lure of some TV spotlight. If he can’t see that, then you need to seriously think about whether this is the relationship you want to be in.
Sometimes, the best thing you can do is step back and let someone make their choice—even if that means walking away. You deserve someone who’s fully in, not someone who’s distracted by whatever shiny thing comes along.
All the best,
Evie
Do you have a question for Evie? If you would like advice from Evie, fill out the form here or send your problem to askevie@ideapod.com.
