13 mistakes men with low emotional intelligence make in relationships

Relationships can be complicated enough as is. 

If one person has low emotional intelligence, it can make things even worse. 

Think constant fighting…

Feeling neglected…

Hurtful words…

These are all things emotionally immature men tend to bring to the table. 

Being on the receiving end can break you.

But sometimes, these men don’t even know what they’re doing. 

Pause – I’m not saying this to defend their behaviors.

It’s just that a bit of empathy can go a long way. And if they want to change, they can.

If you’ve been wondering what’s wrong with your guy, low emotional intelligence might be the answer if…

1) They prioritize logic over empathy

Logic can be great. Some situations thrive on it. 

But when you’re in a relationship, feelings matter too. 

Emotionally immature guys try to solve emotional issues like math problems – they forget that feelings aren’t always about finding solutions. 

It’s like trying to fix a broken heart with a wrench…

Doesn’t work that way. 

And when you respond to their logical approach with emotions…

2) They tend to dismiss or invalidate your feelings

Most people want their feelings acknowledged – not brushed off like crumbs on a table. 

Men with low emotional intelligence don’t get this. Feelings aren’t as important to them, so they rarely make yours feel valid

Whether you’re upset about something they did or simply want to share something that excites you…

An emotionally immature guy will likely make your feelings feel small. 

Most things others feel aren’t that big of a deal for them. Generally, this is also why…

3) They’re emotionally distant or detached

Guys with low emotional intelligence might find it hard to connect with you on a deeper level. 

This can manifest in different ways.

They might struggle to show love and not be there when you need them the most. Or simply respond to your emotions in ways that make what you’re feeling worse. 

This can create a gap in your relationship. 

And it’s not always that they don’t care. They’ve just put their own emotions in a box and locked it up. 

Which is why…

4) They find it hard to empathize with your perspective

Putting yourself in someone else’s shoes isn’t always easy. And emotionally immature guys find it particularly hard.

Let’s face it – they don’t even explore their own emotions. How could they begin to understand yours?

Empathy isn’t about thinking the other person is right to feel or act how they do. It’s about saying, “I get it,” and making them feel less alone. 

But since men with low emotional intelligence approach things logically, doing this seems like a stupid move. 

In their minds, empathizing with your perspective is like saying they think the way you see things is correct. And unless they absolutely feel this way, they won’t. 

5) They rarely understand the impact of their words

Another mistake emotionally immature guys tend to make in their relationship is blabbing. They don’t ever consider the lasting impact their words can have on someone. 

Take this one guy I dated way back, for example.

He always pointed out that I have short, somewhat chubby legs. 

Was it true? Yes. 

So, to him, what he said was simply stating a fact. 

But constantly hearing this made me insecure. And after a while, I stopped wearing dresses. 

Men with low emotional intelligence don’t always mean harm when they say hurtful things. But the lasting damage their words cause is still real. 

And it often doesn’t stop there. Besides talking thoughtlessly…

6) They tend to prioritize their needs without considering yours

When one partner puts everything they want in the relationship first, they sideline the other.

Emotionally immature men aren’t necessarily selfish, but they tend to overlook the fact that you’re in the relationship too, and unintentionally do this. 

This generally ties back to how hard it is for them to understand your perspective. 

They might think what they need and want is what you’ll need and enjoy, too. 

7) They avoid difficult conversations

relationship with wrong person 13 mistakes men with low emotional intelligence make in relationships

It’s typical for emotionally immature men to press skip on those tough conversations relationships require to thrive. 

They might steer clear due to a fear of confrontation or even discomfort with intense emotions. 

Rather than facing the issue head-on, he’ll ignore or downplay it, hoping it just goes away. 

And if he does agree to have the talk, he’ll probably rush through it or dismiss your point of view. 

If your goal with these conversations is to reach an understanding, you could end up feeling that your feelings about the matter are being ignored. 

Over time, this can become the reason your relationship fails to grow.

8) They may use sarcasm or humor in serious discussions

Sometimes, emotionally immature men will agree to have serious talks with you. But sarcasm and humor, especially the dismissive type, is expected.

This behavior stems from their discomfort with talking about deep emotions directly. 

So, instead of having a meaningful conversation with you, they’ll use humor and sarcasm to deflect. 

9) They rarely support you during difficult times 

A guy with low emotional intelligence won’t know how to support you during tough times. 

Because he doesn’t even understand his own emotions, connecting with you over yours is basically impossible. 

And this doesn’t necessarily mean he doesn’t care about or love you.

Mostly, emotionally immature men just feel unequipped to handle the emotional weight of hard times. And when they feel helpless, they tend to withdraw. 

This can make you feel unsupported. Which is totally fair. 

10) They show little interest in your hobbies and interests

Emotionally immature men are typically a little self-centered. They approach relationships the same way.

This manifests differently, but one of the most obvious is their lack of interest in anything you like. 

Because these men primarily focus on their own emotions, investing in your world in any way isn’t on their to-do list.

If they don’t already like some of your interests or hobbies, they probably never will. 

What makes this even worse is the fact that…

11) They might prioritize their own interests and hobbies over your relationship

If you’re dating an emotionally immature man who has different hobbies or career interests than you, there’s a pretty good chance there’ll be quite a gap between the two of you.

Unless you share a hobby with him, it’ll constantly feel like he’s prioritizing it over your relationship. 

Almost like he forgets that your relationship needs attention too…

A guy with low emotional intelligence may fail to understand that balance is important. 

They can become so overly absorbed in their stuff that they unintentionally create distance, leaving you feeling like a second choice. 

The same is true for family and friends. 

I once dated someone like this. 

He grew up in a family where healthy emotions weren’t on display. Thanks to the trauma bonds, his deep-rooted insecurities and fear of rejection, he protected himself by being a little self-centered when it came to us. 

Almost every time I needed him and his family or a friend had something they needed him for too, he’d help them first. He’d also go out of his way to accommodate them, but not me. 

It felt like our relationship and I weren’t a priority for him. This caused some of our biggest fights. 

Looking back, I can see he chose them because family was important to him. And risking that for someone or something else didn’t seem like the best choice for his emotional well-being. 

12) They tend to blame other people for their mistakes

It’s rare to find an emotionally immature guy who actually takes responsibility. Most of them feel uncomfortable doing this and choose to place the blame on others or deflect accountability. 

There are many reasons why a man with low emotional intelligence will act this way.

For some, admitting mistakes feels uncomfortable, and they think they might look weak. 

Others simply don’t want to face potential consequences. 

Dealing with the negative emotions of admitting a fault – like guilt or shame – isn’t something these types of men can do either. 

And because they can’t even admit when they were wrong

13) They struggle to apologize and make amends

One of the first ways to apologize is admitting that your mistakes hurt someone. 

Emotionally immature men find this incredibly hard. 

And even if they manage to admit what they’ve done wasn’t one of their best moments, their pride often prevents them from doing what they need to make up for it. 

A guy with low emotional intelligence might say, “I’m sorry,” and expect everything to go back to normal. 

Working to earn your forgiveness can feel like a blow to their ego. 

Understanding this could help you empathize with them a little. But you never have to settle

Relationships require growth. 

There will always be occasional missteps, but each partner needs to reflect on their behavior and work to become the most secure, healthy version of themselves. 

If your man refuses to do this, you don’t have to feel guilty about wanting to move on. 

Picture of Natasha Combrink

Natasha Combrink

Nats is a writer who loves creating content for purposeful brands. She enjoys spending time outdoors, crafting, and diving down rabbit holes. After rediscovering life, she wants to help others live to their full potential. You can connect with her on LinkedIn.

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