Integrity is something everyone should strive for whether they’re in a relationship or not. It can be defined as having a strong moral compass.
If you have integrity, you know right from wrong and hold yourself to those standards.
The best partners will be people who have integrity. How can you tell someone doesn’t have it? If he crosses the line with the actions detailed in this story, he doesn’t measure up.
1) Say things they don’t mean
If he doesn’t mean it, he simply shouldn’t say it.
If a man says things he doesn’t mean, he’s merely trying to hurt you with his words.
Men shouldn’t play mind games. They should practice effective communication instead.
2) Disrespect their partner
There are many ways a partner can feel disrespected. Insulting or criticizing a partner can be so disrespectful.
If his criticism is coming from a place of anger, rage, or rudeness, he lacks integrity.
It’s not okay to disrespect a partner even when you’re mad. It’s passive-aggressive and will only create more animosity between the two of you.
3) Lie to their partner
This goes without saying. Who wants to be lied to?
Lying to a partner shows such selfishness. The man with no integrity will be doing this for him, not for their partner.
If he’s not being honest with his significant other, then what’s the point of being in that relationship? His relationship won’t thrive if he is lying about things.
4) Keep secrets from their partner
If a man is withholding information, he might as well be lying.
If he is keeping secrets from his partner, one has to wonder why he’s doing that. Is your partner keeping things from you in order to protect himself from consequences? He has no integrity.
If a man truly cares about his lady, he will be truthful.
5) Cheat on their partner
I mean, obviously, cheating is one of the most awful things a man can do to his partner. Having an emotional or physical affair with someone is the worst betrayal ever.
Being committed to someone means giving them all of you.
If your partner is cheating on you, it’ll be hard to ever trust him again. This will effectively ruin your relationship.
6) Talk to an ex
It’s not as bad at cheating, sure. But if your partner still has an unnecessary relationship with his ex, consider that disrespectful.
The only time this is okay is if your partner has a good reason, such as:
- They co-parent kids and/or pets
- They work together
- They own a business together
- They own property together
- They are platonic friends and you approve
7) Gaslight their partner
Not familiar with the term, “gaslighting”? It’s a form of psychological manipulation where one individual will make another (or others) question their reality.
As a result, the victim of gaslighting will doubt their own sanity, memory, and judgment.
Here are tactics a gaslighting man might do to their partner:
- Downplaying his partner’s experiences
- Minimizing his partner’s concerns and feelings
- Denying or dismissing observations
- Distorting information
- Creating confusion
- Shifting blame to deflect responsibility
- Distracting his partner from an issue
- Isolating his partner from support systems
8) Not take accountability
Consider this my biggest pet peeve in a relationship.
And if your partner is doing this when you face challenges as a couple, he does not have integrity.
Though it’s an uncomfortable act that paints him in a bad light, he needs to take accountability for his actions. Doing so means you—together as one unit—can address the issue.
9) Be emotionally unavailable
The ideal man in a relationship will be emotionally available to you.
That means, he’ll be there for you to support you. He’ll also be vulnerable and express his own feelings, and he’ll understand yours.
A man with no integrity can’t be bothered.
10) Not support their partner
If your partner has zero integrity, he won’t be available to support you through the good or the bad.
A man with integrity will always lend an ear, offer advice, and help you work through your problems. Showing support can also come in the form of showing up to important things in your life.
11) Dismiss their partner’s feelings
The person with integrity will always honor your feelings even if it does not serve him in any way.
If you’re upset about something and he ignores or dismisses your feelings, then you know he’s not truly there for you.
You want a partner who will feel your feelings with you.
12) Neglect their partner
If he’s simply not around or ignores you, you have a partner with no integrity.
For instance, on your birthday, does he do nothing to celebrate you? If he doesn’t give you a thoughtful gift or take you out for the special occasion, that’s rough. Sorry!
13) Withhold affection from their partner
Is your partner refusing to give you hugs, kisses, and more? If they’re withholding physical connection from you, you have to wonder about their intentions.
If he has no reason to not be intimate with you, this is a line the man with integrity will never cross.
If he’s mad at you and, as a result, not able to show affection, that’s a different story. Let’s hope he pushes himself to be vulnerable enough to discuss your issues.
14) Disregard their partner’s boundaries
Have you ever laid out boundaries to your partner? For instance, you don’t want to talk about a certain topic because it’s triggering? Or, you don’t want to be bothered while you’re at work?
If he doesn’t honor these guardrails, he doesn’t respect you.
A respectful relationship will honor guidelines that don’t undermine your relationship.
15) Cut off communication from their partner
Call this the passive-aggressive person’s go-to tactic. It’s not fun for anyone, so why do it?
The man with no integrity might play these silent treatment games, but the man with integrity will communicate effectively rather than stay silent.
His silence speaks louder than words. It means he doesn’t care enough to communicate to improve the situation.
16) Not put in any effort
Are you the only one in your relationship making plans and putting in the work? If so, you have integrity and your partner does not.
Relationships aren’t always easy, and they do require effort.
If you’re with someone who has integrity, your relationship will feel like a partnership.
17) Abuse their partner
This one is a given. Men with real integrity would never abuse their partners—physically, emotionally, mentally, and sexually.
They will treat you with kindness and care.
And even if things go south, they’ll still be respectful and not cross this horrible line.
18) Control their partner
Each individual in a relationship should be free, rather than controlled.
The man with integrity won’t feel the need to tell his partner what they can and cannot do.
Not sure if you’re being controlled by a partner? Control can come in the forms of:
- Isolating you from friends and family
- Constant criticism
- Intense jealousy
19) Steal from their partner
Whether it’s money, material possessions, or even opportunities, if he steals from you, he has no integrity.
The man with integrity will honor the unspoken rules that what’s yours is yours. If he takes from you without asking or he takes from you without you offering, you should assess this relationship.