Respect is a fundamental part of every relationship, from romance to friendship.
And yet there are many men who were never taught respect by their parents – men who struggle to show respect to others long into their adulthood.
Naturally, a man like this is a walking red flag. Without respect, you have nothing stable upon which to build trust.
So, how can you recognize whether the man in question has a healthy sense of respect for other people or if he was never taught it and never bothered to learn by himself?
Well, men who fit the latter category usually display these 6 behaviors.
1) They suffer from excessive entitlement
This may be a controversial opinion, but I believe that a little bit of entitlement is actually not so bad.
After all, people who pursue their dreams and try to make something of themselves must feel like they deserve to have the better things in life; like they are worthy of accomplishment.
If they don’t, there’s a high chance they’ll soon give up on their goals or self-sabotage so much that they’ll never get there.
However, there’s a world of difference between a few sprinkles of entitlement and a whole river of it.
And as you may have already guessed, men whose parents never taught them respect tend to suffer from so much entitlement that it inevitably impacts their relationships with others.
But what *is* entitlement when it comes down to it?
Well, expert Jane Adams Ph.D. describes it thus: “Entitlement is an enduring personality trait, characterized by the belief that one deserves preferences and resources that others do not.”
She adds, “A sense of entitlement enables people to think and act differently from others, and the more they do so, the more willing and able they are to generate creative ideas. On the negative side, a chronically entitled disposition may diminish the motivation to put in extra effort.”
An entitled man believes that he deserves to get everything he sets his mind on without putting in any work. He believes that the simple fact that he *exists* is enough to make everything work out in his favor.
Of course, this is a very arrogant, limited, and immature way to live. Your dreams won’t just fall in your lap. You’ve got to work for them.
2) They cause a scene when things don’t go their way
Have you ever seen a man flip out or straight-out lose it when something wasn’t according to his expectations?
Yeah. That’s an entitled and disrespectful man right there.
People who are taught respect growing up understand that there are things beyond their control, things that just happen, and there’s nothing to be done about it apart from accepting the current circumstances and moving on.
It’s not just about respecting other people. It’s about respecting that life is bigger than us, that it may be unfair at times and that all we can do is make the best out of a bad deal sometimes.
If you get stuck in traffic, oh well.
If you have to wait in a long queue, you just suffer through it.
If someone acts in a way that goes against your expectations of them, you respect that they are more than a made-up idea in your head – they’re a real and raw person with their own motives.
Unfortunately, disrespectful men are so self-centered that they tend to forget they’re not the main character of the movie.
3) They push other people’s boundaries
Boundaries are in place for a reason. They’re not to be crossed or tested.
Of course, you probably don’t need me to tell you that.
Men who were never taught respect, however…
They may need a refresher.
For them, a boundary is less of a limit and more of a question.
Instead of automatically respecting someone’s boundary, a man who struggles with respect might ask himself, “How do I make this person give in?”
This is obviously a very dangerous way to think, which is also why disrespectful men are to be avoided, especially if your gut instinct is telling you that something’s off.
To a man like that, “no” is a “maybe” and “my boundary is X” means “I dare you to come up with a creative way to push my boundary and dismiss X”.
He may even view it as a bit of a game.
Except it very much isn’t one.
4) They never take accountability for their actions
It probably comes as no surprise that a man who is unwilling to respect other people’s boundaries may also struggle to validate their feelings and own up to his mistakes.
Seeing as his main priority is his own gain, it’s very likely that he’ll try his best to avoid taking accountability for his actions, apologizing, and changing his behavior.
Here are a few telling signs to watch out for:
- Gaslighting (making you doubt your own perception of reality so that he doesn’t have to apologize)
- Projecting (projecting his own mistakes or flaws onto you to flip the narrative)
- Dismissal (dismissing your feelings as “not that big a deal”)
- Avoidance (shutting down during conflict or leaving the situation entirely)
- Guilt-tripping (making you feel guilty for starting the conflict in the first place)
All of these are emotionally manipulative strategies that serve to shift blame, escape accountability, and ultimately get out of the conflict unscathed.
Don’t fall for it.
5) They think they don’t “owe” anyone anything
…and to a certain extent, this is true.
You don’t owe people an explanation of why you need to look after your mental health, why you’re declining an invitation to a party, or where you’re going after work.
Your life is your business. If people are too nosy, you would be right to respectfully keep your distance.
But if this idea of not “owing” anyone anything is taken too far, it can backfire. Big time.
You do owe people respect, especially if they’re kind and polite. You do owe your partner an explanation of why you did something hurtful. You do owe everyone a certain sense of decency.
Men who struggle to respect others often hide behind the excuse of “I don’t owe you anything,” and while that may be true at times, it might also lead to a lack of empathy and selfish behavior that harms one’s relationships in the long run.
We all owe each other respect grounded in our shared humanity.
Even if we disagree or don’t particularly like each other. Even then.
6) They haven’t really grown up emotionally
Finally, respect is not only something we’re taught by our parents; it’s also a vital component of emotional intelligence, which happens to be a skill we can learn and improve upon during adulthood.
In other words, just because a man wasn’t taught the importance of respect growing up doesn’t mean he’s free to mistreat people, push their boundaries, dismiss their feelings, and remain stuck in his own head.
Humans are social creatures. The ability to get along and empathize with others is at the very core of who we are.
And if a man finds it difficult to show others basic respect…
It means he still has some growing up to do.
