Men who find it easy to commit in relationships have unconsciously internalized these 6 habits

While men (generally speaking) tend to get a bad wrap for being commitment-phobic, there are just as many men in the world—maybe even more—who love the idea of being devoted to their one and only. 

In contrast, these men want commitment with a passion. 

Perhaps they grew up with the idea that a deep relationship and commitment to one person was the key to a happy and successful life. 

Or maybe they indirectly learned it through their own trial and errors in the dating world. They realized that they didn’t like the dating world and just wanted to give themselves to one person.

Whatever their situation, here are six unconsciously internalized habits of men who find it easy to commit in relationships. 

1) They turn down on the idea of keeping their “options open” 

“Options are for people who don’t really know what they want,” says Kelsey Dykstra from dating and relationship advice platform, Bolde

“He can’t just choose option A, B, C, or D—he needs to keep every option available. Why?  Because he’s not sure what option he really wants…If he wants to keep his options open, it means he’s just not that into you.” 

But a man who has no desire to keep his options open isn’t conflicted in his head or his heart. He knows what he’s looking for and is able to recognize the person who’s right for him.

When a man does find his person, he has no desire to wait for someone better to come along—because to him, that person doesn’t exist. 

2) They are excited about having an emotional connection 

A man who has every desire to commit knows that a strong emotional bond with his partner is the foundation of his happiness. 

“Open communication, empathy, and shared experiences help create a deep connection that can foster trust and understanding,” says Rachel Pace from Marriage.com

“When a man feels emotionally connected to his partner, he’s more likely to experience genuine joy and contentment.”

3) They are enthusiastic about evolving with their one true love 

“In a conscious relationship, both people feel committed to each other with a sense of purpose. This purpose is growth, both at the personal level and the relationship level,” says the team at Exploring Your Mind

A man who embraces commitment isn’t just seeking out a romantic relationship to satisfy his own physical and personal needs because he knows that although this can be sustained for a while, that over time the relationship will fail and dissatisfaction will arise. 

“When two people unite with the intention of growing together the relationship will advance toward something bigger than personal gratification.

“It will become a fascinating journey of evolution, where both people have the opportunity to grow individually, instead of renouncing their own needs to please the other.”

4) They don’t avoid being vulnerable with the “VIP”

behaviors loyal people never display in a relationship Men who find it easy to commit in relationships have unconsciously internalized these 6 habits

If a man is able to express vulnerability with a woman, he is comfortable with her, says Pace.

“He is not afraid to show some of his flaws and tell secrets to her that many people don’t know. Also, he trusts that she has a high emotional intelligence which will prevent her from judging him when he makes some choices.”

A man who isn’t afraid of commitment is honest with his partner and he confides in her regularly. He knows he can tell them things without being judged.

“On some occasions, he will confide in you because he needs your opinion,” says Pace. “Other times, he just wants to be accountable to you because you have a listening ear each time he wants to discuss [things] with you. “But overall, he trusts you and feels safe telling you almost everything.”

5) The have an innate appreciation of women

Indian actor Shah Rukh Khan—arguably the second most iconic actor after Amitabh Bachan—at The World Economic Forum in 2018:

“I was 14 when my father died, so I had a mother. My mother had no brothers and her father passed away. So I had three aunts and a grandmother. And then my mother passed away.

Then I had a wife and then I had a daughter. And in between these two, I started working with all the girls in the country when I became an actor.”

Also, after the death of mother, Khan’s sister fell into a heavy depression and Khan took the responsibility for caring for her.

As a guest on David Letterman’s Netflix talk show, My Next Guest, Khan said that being surrounded by strong, decisive, hard-working women is what gave him an innate respect for them.

Men who can commit have wholly different views from men who won’t commit, says Laura Lifshitz from Your Tango. 

Men who won’t commit see women either as property or as problems, she says. “His viewpoints of women skew negatively, and his experiences with relationships range from bad to horrific.”

Men who can commit, on the other hand, aren’t still angry with their ex-partner. 

“He views women as equals and appreciates the relationships he has with them,” Lifshitz says “He doesn’t see them as ‘carriers of his duties,’ nor does he see them as weights holding him down.”

6) They aren’t afraid to tackle their own issues…as well as any conflict with their partner

Over her years as a clinical psychologist, Diana Kirschnwe, PhD from Psychology Today, says she has found that men have eight common fears of commitment, all of which have roots in childhood and adolescence. 

These are: 

  • a fear of rejection
  • a fear of being controlled and smothered (most likely because they had a mother who was smothering)
  • a fear of not being lovable
  • a fear of not measuring up
  • a fear of being “found out” (this could be anything from a “shameful” family secret to having what he sees as an “unfixable” flaw)
  • a fear trusting a woman
  • a fear of growing up
  • a fear that he is incapable of making the “right” decision

“The project of picking, projecting, and provoking these fears can lead men to recreate their negative relationship scenarios and sabotage themselves when it comes to romance and love,”  Kirschnwe says. 

“Unfortunately, if a man is not growing and working on his issues, he will often follow these same patterns over and over again with woman after woman—sinking his possibilities of committed love into the netherworld.”

Men who aren’t afraid to commit have tackled the above issues within themselves—perhaps with the help of a professional counselor. 

Men who can commit are able also to work through any issues in his life with their partner, says Lifshitz.

“He’s a willing problem-solver and doesn’t just quit when life hands him lemons. He won’t just run out the door on you; he’ll attempt to fix the relationship issues you’re having because he’s a hardworking person.”

There’s a catch on men and commitment: 

Loving somebody, as opposed to falling in love with them, implies a deeper and more mature emotional connection

“When you truly love somebody, you are capable of altruism, you can put their needs before yours,” says Paul Clooney from Medium. 

“You are committed to their well-being and happiness. The focal point of the relationship becomes less centered around YOU, and how the other person makes YOU feel. Instead you are more concerned with making your partner feel good.”

But here’s the catch: 

Men are willing and able to commit to women who do not represent limitation, Clooney says. 

“This means you need to be a flexible and understanding girlfriend. You need to be prepared to put his welfare first sometimes, just as you would expect him to do the same for you.

“Save any demands for when you REALLY need to make them—and the rest of the time, allow him his independence with good grace.”

Pearl Nash

Pearl Nash

Pearl Nash has years of experience writing relationship articles for single females looking for love. After being single for years with no hope of meeting Mr. Right, she finally managed to get married to the love of her life. Now that she’s settled down and happier than she’s ever been in her life, she's passionate about sharing all the wisdom she's learned over the journey. Pearl is also an accredited astrologer and publishes Hack Spirit's daily horoscope.

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