Men who feel confident and secure never display these 7 behaviors in public

We’ve all come across them.

Men who seem to exude confidence and security, the ones who appear unshaken even in challenging situations, the ones who command respect without even trying.

But what makes these men different?

Interestingly, it’s not just about what they do. It’s equally about what they don’t do.

You see, truly confident and secure men have a unique trait – they refrain from certain behaviors, especially in public.

So, if you’re wondering “Why don’t I feel as secure or confident around others?” or “What am I doing wrong?”, it’s possible that you might be unknowingly indulging in these behaviors.

In this article, we will explore 7 key behaviors that confident and secure men avoid showcasing in public.

And once you’re aware of these, you might be surprised at how your perspective shifts.

1) Seeking validation

Confident and secure men are known for their self-assured demeanor.

They trust their abilities and decisions without the need for constant approval or validation.

It’s not that they don’t appreciate positive feedback, but they don’t rely on it to feel good about themselves.

In other words, they understand that everyone has their own opinions, and it’s okay if people don’t always agree with them.

In public settings, these men are comfortable in their own skin, not requiring others to validate their worth or actions.

Remember, seeking validation is not necessarily a bad thing, but relying on it for your self-esteem might hinder your confidence and security.

2) Dominating conversations

I remember an incident at a social gathering a few years back.

There was this guy, let’s call him Mike.

Mike was always the loudest in the room, always eager to steer the conversation towards himself.

At first, it seemed like he was super confident.

But as time went on, I realized that this was far from the truth.

You see, truly confident and secure men, they don’t need to dominate every conversation.

Instead, they listen more than they speak.

They understand that there’s value in hearing others’ perspectives and experiences.

They are comfortable with silence and don’t feel the need to fill every moment with their own voice.

That’s when I realized Mike’s constant need to be the center of attention was more about his insecurities than his confidence.

So if you find yourself dominating conversations, take a step back. Listen more. You’d be surprised at how much respect you can gain just by lending an ear.

3) Trying to impress

Let’s get real here. We’ve all been there – trying too hard to impress others.

Maybe it’s a shiny new car, a high-powered job title, or a designer suit.

But let’s think about it…

Why do we feel the need to impress?

Is it because we’re unsure of our own worth?

Because we need others to see us a certain way to feel good about ourselves?

Confident and secure men, on the other hand, don’t feel the need to impress anyone.

They know their value doesn’t lie in material possessions or societal status.

They are comfortable with who they are, without the bells and whistles, and they understand that genuine connections and respect aren’t built on flashy displays, but rather on character, kindness, and authenticity.

If you catch yourself trying to impress, just stop. Be yourself. Because the truth is, those who matter won’t mind, and those who mind don’t matter.

4) Avoiding challenges

Life is full of challenges.

They’re like stepping stones on the path to personal growth.

But it’s not always easy to face them head-on.

Confident and secure men, however, view challenges differently.

They see them as opportunities for learning and growth – they don’t shy away from tough situations or difficult tasks.

In public, they openly tackle challenges, undeterred by the possibility of failure.


Because they know that even failure brings valuable lessons.

It’s not about winning or losing, but about growing and evolving.

If you shy away from challenges, try shifting your perspective. See them as opportunities, not obstacles.

Because every challenge you overcome only adds to your confidence and security.

5) Comparing themselves to others

Did you know that the human brain is hardwired to compare?

It’s a survival mechanism from our ancestors’ days when comparing oneself to others was a way of assessing threats.

But in today’s world, this constant comparison often leads to feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt.

Confident and secure men know better than to fall into this trap. 

In public, they don’t measure their worth or success against others.

Essentially, their only competition is the person they were yesterday.

So, if you find yourself caught in the comparison game, remember, it’s not about being better than someone else.

It’s about being better than you were yesterday.

6) Disrespecting others

Everyone deserves respect, irrespective of their background, beliefs, or status.

And his is a principle that confident and secure men live by.

They know that displaying disrespect, especially in public, doesn’t elevate them but rather diminishes their own character.

I have a friend who is like this. He treats everyone with kindness and understanding, from the waiter at his favorite restaurant to his closest business partner.

I know for a fact he wouldn’t be caught dead being rude in public, for one, it’s not his style.

But secondly, he has enough confidence and security within himself to not feel threatened and lash out at others, or put people down to make himself feel good. 

7) Masking their true selves

At the heart of it all, confident and secure men are unapologetically themselves.

They don’t pretend to be someone they’re not.

They don’t hide their quirks or mask their true selves out of fear of judgment.

In public, they are genuine, authentic, and transparent.

They draw on the knowledge that it’s okay to be different, to have flaws, to be human.

That’s also what makes these types of men incredibly attractive and easy to get along with.

There’s no guesswork involved. What you see is what you get. 

So if you’re ever tempted to put on a facade, remember this: Your uniqueness is your strength. Embrace it. 

Final thoughts

If you’ve recognized some of these behaviors in yourself, don’t fret.

We’re all works in progress.

The first step towards change is awareness and you’ve already made that.

Now starts the journey of transformation.

Try to catch yourself when you fall into these habits. Ask yourself – does this behavior align with who I truly want to be?

The road to self-improvement isn’t always easy, but it’s worth it.

With each day and each conscious choice, you’re building your confidence, your security.

So take it one step at a time. Celebrate your progress. And remember, the goal isn’t to be perfect, but to be better than you were yesterday.

Picture of Lucas Graham

Lucas Graham

Lucas Graham, based in Auckland, writes about the psychology behind everyday decisions and life choices. His perspective is grounded in the belief that understanding oneself is the key to better decision-making. Lucas’s articles are a mix of personal anecdotes and observations, offering readers relatable and down-to-earth advice.

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