As the founder of Hack Spirit and a mindfulness enthusiast, I’ve spent a lot of time studying human behavior. And let me tell you, it’s not always pretty. Particularly when it comes to men who aren’t truthful and genuine about their intentions.
The reality is, these men often display certain behaviors that give them away. It’s like they’re playing a game of hide and seek, but they’re not as good at hiding as they think.
So what are these telltale signs?
Well, in this article, I’m going to reveal 7 behaviors commonly exhibited by men who aren’t being completely honest about what they truly want. This isn’t about painting all men with the same brush, but rather offering insights to help you navigate your interactions more wisely.
Let’s get straight to the point.
1) Shiftiness with their words
One of the key signs that a man isn’t being truthful about his intentions is how he uses language.
These men often have a knack for bending words and twisting conversations. They might be vague, evade direct questions, or change the subject frequently. This kind of linguistic gymnastics can be a clear sign that they’re not being entirely upfront about their motives.
The goal here is to keep you off balance, unsure of where you stand. They’ll make promises, but they’ll be crafty about it, leaving enough room for plausible deniability if they fail to deliver.
But here’s the thing. Communication is not just about the words we use, but also about consistency and clarity. If someone is sending you mixed signals or leaving you constantly guessing, it’s worth taking a step back and reassessing the situation.
As renowned psychologist Carl Rogers once said, “The most personal is the most universal.” If you’re feeling uneasy about someone’s language and behavior, chances are, there’s something off.
2) Inconsistencies in their stories
Speaking from personal experience, inconsistencies can be a major red flag.
I remember a time when I was getting to know a friend of a friend. Let’s call him Mark. Mark was slick, charismatic and always had an enthralling story to share. But as I got to know him better, I started noticing discrepancies in his tales.
For instance, one time he narrated a captivating story about a daring adventure he had while backpacking across Europe.
But a few weeks later, when recounting the same story, the details had somehow changed. The locations were different, the timeline didn’t add up, and even the outcome of the adventure had shifted.
I realized then that these inconsistencies were not mere memory lapses but a sign that Mark wasn’t being truthful about his past.
Always keep in mind, honesty is consistent. If someone’s stories are frequently changing or details just don’t add up, it’s a sign they might not be genuine about their intentions.
3) They avoid showing vulnerability
Men who aren’t truthful and genuine about their intentions usually have a hard time showing vulnerability.
They often portray themselves as invulnerable, having everything under control all the time. They shy away from expressing emotions or discussing any personal struggles they may be dealing with.
Why? Because showing vulnerability requires honesty and authenticity, two things that they’re not comfortable with.
Now, this is something I discuss extensively in my book, “Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego“. I delve into how embracing vulnerability is key to leading a fulfilling and authentic life, and how it can help us to connect with others on a deeper level.
If you find that the man you’re dealing with is constantly projecting an image of perfection, it might be time to question the authenticity of his intentions.
People who are genuine about their intentions aren’t afraid to show their flaws and insecurities because they understand that vulnerability is not a weakness, but a strength.
4) They’re excessively charming
Charm can be a wonderful thing. It can set you at ease, make you feel special and valued. But when it’s excessive, it can also be a warning sign.
Psychologists often associate excessive charm with manipulative personalities, specifically those with narcissistic or antisocial tendencies. These individuals use their charm to disarm and distract you from their true intentions.
Think about it like this: charm is a tool, and like any tool, its use can be either constructive or destructive. A person who is genuinely charming uses that trait to create positive connections and interactions. But a person who is not truthful about their intentions uses charm to control or manipulate others.
So if you find yourself being swept off your feet by someone’s excessive charm, try to take a step back and assess the situation objectively. Is this person just charming, or are they using their charm as a smokescreen to hide their real intentions?
5) They’re overly agreeable
At first glance, a man who agrees with everything you say might seem like a dream come true. But here’s the counter-intuitive part – it can actually be a warning sign.
While it’s important for people to find common ground and shared values, excessive agreement can be a sign that someone is being less than genuine. Why? Because it’s nearly impossible for two people to agree on absolutely everything.
When someone is always agreeing with you, it could be because they’re trying to win your approval or avoid conflict, rather than expressing their true thoughts and feelings. This kind of behavior can indicate that they’re not being truthful about their intentions or who they really are.
Don’t be fooled by the man who never disagrees with you. Disagreement and debate, when done respectfully, are healthy parts of any relationship. They show that both parties are being genuine and honest about their perspectives.
As the saying goes, “If two people agree on everything, one of them is unnecessary.”
6) They make grandiose promises
Men who aren’t truthful and genuine about their intentions have a tendency to make grand promises. They’ll promise the moon and stars, painting a picture of an idyllic future, only to fail to deliver on these promises.
They use these grandiose promises as a way to distract you from their true intentions, to make you believe they’re invested in your happiness and your future together.
But actions speak louder than words. If they’re making big promises but not following up with actions, it’s a clear sign that they’re not being honest about their intentions.
7) They often play the victim
There was a time when I found myself dealing with someone who always seemed to be the victim. No matter what happened, it was never their fault.
In every story, they were the innocent party, wronged by others. It didn’t take long to realize that this perpetual victimhood was a tactic, a way to evade responsibility for their actions and decisions.
This is a common behavior among individuals who aren’t truthful about their intentions. By painting themselves as the victim, they manipulate others’ empathy and sympathy to serve their hidden objectives.
In life, we all face challenges and setbacks. But owning up to our part in these situations is a sign of honesty and integrity. Those who constantly shirk responsibility and point fingers at others are generally not being genuine about their intentions.
Keep your eyes open for such behavior. It can be a telltale sign that something is amiss.
8) They’re secretive about their past
Another sign that a man isn’t being genuine about his intentions is if he’s overly secretive about his past.
Now, everyone has the right to privacy and no one should feel obligated to share everything about their past right away. However, if it feels like they’re purposefully hiding something or avoiding certain topics, it could be a red flag.
This kind of evasiveness may indicate they’re not being completely honest or transparent about who they are or what they want. It could be that they’re hiding something that might change your perception of them or their motives.
Trust is built on openness and honesty. If someone is being secretive, it might be difficult to trust them fully and believe in the authenticity of their intentions. So always trust your gut and don’t ignore any feelings of unease or suspicion.
Final thoughts: It’s all about trust and authenticity
Understanding human behavior, especially when it comes to men who aren’t truthful and genuine about their intentions, can be a complex task. We’ve delved into seven specific behaviors to watch out for, but remember, this is not a definitive list.
Human interactions are nuanced, and people can display different behaviors based on their individual personalities and circumstances. What’s important is to trust your instincts and not ignore any red flags.
In my book, “Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego“, I explore the importance of authenticity and mindfulness in our day-to-day interactions. Understanding these principles can be a powerful tool in identifying those who aren’t being genuine about their intentions.
At the end of the day, relationships – whether romantic, professional, or personal – thrive on trust and authenticity. When these two pillars are compromised, the foundation can crumble.
Stay observant, trust your intuition, and never compromise on your need for honesty and genuineness in your relationships.
You deserve nothing less.
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