Men who are falling in love but aren’t aware of it usually display these 12 behaviors

Falling in love is not something that is always easy to notice. 

When a guy is gaining very strong feelings for somebody, he himself may not even realize it is happening until he is head over heels. 

The following list of indicators shows the kind of experiences men often have when they fall in love without realizing it bit by bit. 

Let’s take a look and dive in.

1) Paying a lot of extra attention to somebody

They may find themselves paying more attention to the person they’re falling in love with, whether it’s noticing small details about their appearance or behavior. 

Without even fully realizing they are doing it, their attention begins to focus on another person, particularly the positive and attractive aspects of that person. 

The French writer Stendahl called this the process of crystallization, which is also called limerence. To cut a long story short, the guy is falling in love without realizing it.

2) Seeking out the company of a specific person

They may naturally gravitate towards spending more time with the person they’re falling for, wanting to be in their presence as much as possible. 

He begins to subconsciously shape and mold his schedule around spending time with this person and being around them more often. 

Without even fully realizing it, he seeks out the company of this person even if it is just for 5 minutes stopping in where they work or a quick chat with them online on his lunch break that he has been looking forward to all morning at an instinctive level.

3) Becoming protective and caring toward somebody

They may exhibit protective behaviors towards the person they’re falling in love with, whether it’s ensuring their safety or standing up for them in certain situations. 

This goes far beyond physical attraction or temporary infatuation and relates back to the deepest evolutionary roots of humanity. 

Ever since humans have lived in smaller tribal organizations, mating was a process of mutual care. 

The man begins to feel an urge to care and protect a woman he is attracted to, often at the subconscious and instinctive level before he is able to fully verbalize or become conscious of that desire.

4) They start putting the needs of somebody else first or high up

This relates directly to the previous point. 

The guy who’s falling without knowing it will often prioritize the needs and desires of the person they’re falling in love with, often putting their happiness and well-being above their own

In their own minds they are just caring for a new friend for a person they have dated a few times, but at the psychological and physiological level, they are falling in love.

This new individual is quickly becoming the center of their universe.

5) Frequently thinking of a certain person at random times

They may find themselves constantly thinking about the person they’re falling for, even when they’re not together, and daydreaming about future interactions. 

The object of their attraction has become their focus and intrudes on their thoughts at various times of the day seemingly for no reason. 

This also goes far beyond sexual fantasy or momentary attraction and is much more than emotional experience, where the man will feel strong emotions when thinking of this individual. 

It may also come up when he hears certain music or remembers a joke she told, for example, sparking nostalgic and fun feelings in him that surpass momentary fondness or humor.

6) Feeling emotional intensity when the thought of a person comes up

They may experience heightened emotions when around the person they’re falling in love with, feeling joy, excitement, or nervousness more intensely than usual. 

This can cause two primary actions in a guy. He may feel scared of the intensity of his emotions and downplay them or block his conscious mind from recognizing it is happening, leading to him falling in love without realizing it. 

Alternately he simply may not realize at all and may simply feel that he is overly raw emotionally or feeling kind of strange but not pinpoint why that is or connected with the individual he is spending time around.

7) Their mood gets increasingly tied to the behavior and reactions of this other person

attract an intellectual woman Men who are falling in love but aren’t aware of it usually display these 12 behaviors

They may become more sensitive to the feelings and emotions of the person they’re falling for, empathizing with their struggles and celebrating their successes. 

This can rapidly descend into codependency if the man is not confident and secure in himself. 

However if he is secure, he is able to check this close relation to somebody else’s well-being, even if he doesn’t necessarily realize why it’s happening or feels like it is unreasonable that he would care so much how somebody else feels or reacts to him.

8) They subconsciously seek out physical touch from this person

They may seek out physical contact with the person they’re falling for, whether it’s hugs, hand-holding, or other forms of affection, as a way to express their feelings. 

If the man is still at the friend level with this person, he may give affectionate touches, back pats and arm touches and similar gestures.

He is not even necessarily trying to escalate to more intimate behavior but simply wishes to touch the object of his affection even in a purely friendly way. 

In other words he has no seductive agenda but is instinctively drawn to this person in a way that goes deeper than conscious thought.

9) They get jealous of the interest of other people in this person

They may experience feelings of jealousy or possessiveness towards others who show interest in the person they’re falling for, even if they’re not consciously aware of their own feelings. 

Especially if there is no relationship to speak of, the man will often bury these feelings and ignore them, realizing that he has no actual claim or hold on this woman. 

He knows it is not reasonable to feel jealous or possessive, and he doesn’t want to come across as needy or creepy. 

And yet when he sees another person flirting or interested in this woman he feels an instinctive and immediate stab of discomfort and jealousy, even if he tries to ignore it and forget about it. 

10) They seem like they’ve been given a new life

They guy who’s falling in love will often feel a surge of energy and enthusiasm when around the person they’re falling for, feeling more alive and engaged in their presence. 

Those around them notice that they suddenly have much more energy and wellbeing. 

It is as if they have gotten a new reason to live and are suddenly re-energized. 

Their well-being skyrockets and day may also feel like struggles with depression or anxiety or fading into the background, with others close to them noting a marked alleviation of their struggles.

11) They look for shared activities and hobbies with this person

The guy who’s falling in love without realizing it will often actively seek out opportunities to engage in activities or hobbies that the person they’re falling for enjoys.

In their head they think: hey, let’s see what Sharon is up to, she’s fun. But deep down it’s part of a desire to bond over shared interests.

This ties into the next point… 

12) They start orienting their life and future plans to be more aligned with this person

The guy who’s falling in love incognito will often find himself thinking about the future with the person he’s falling for, without really realizing why. 

He’s envisioning a life together and fantasizing about it, but he’s not quite sure why. 

Surely he’s not serious about this lady, right? 

Stranger things have happened! 

Paul Brian

Paul Brian

Paul R. Brian is a freelance journalist and writer who has reported from around the world, focusing on religion, culture and geopolitics. Follow him on and visit his website at

Enhance your experience of Ideapod and join Tribe, our community of free thinkers and seekers.

Related articles

Most read articles

Get our articles

Ideapod news, articles, and resources, sent straight to your inbox every month.