in ,

Why So Many Unhappy Couples Stay Together

Here’s the brutal truth about most marriages:

There are WAY too many couples who aren’t happy but continue to stay together anyway.

They say, “If we stick at the relationship, then eventually we’ll be happy.”

If only it were that easy…

Unfortunately, things rarely change and it leads to a state of eternal unhappiness.

The marriage fails to be enriching and filled with passion because there’s no base to lean on emotionally.

While it may seem surprising to you, it’s a common fact that many unhappy married couples remain together.

They refuse to cut their losses and continue to trudge forward.

Let’s take a look at why this is the case among many unhappy couples.

1) Heavily Invested In Marriage

Many couples are heavily invested in the marriage. They have spent funds on the wedding day and were in love with their spouse at one stage. This can lead to unwillingness to separate.

They don’t want to break this investment and see minimal returns in doing so.

It is similar to putting your money into the stock market and pulling it out when the value is at its lowest. This is how many perceive their marriage is and assume it’s best to keep going with the status quo since it works better. In most cases, it does not work better, but that is the choice they end up making.

2) No Alternatives

Many couples believe the alternatives are non-existent. This isn’t reserved for romantic alternatives only but the idea of living alone too. This can be a scary thought for those who have spent their entire lives with someone else around them. If this option is taken away, they feel it is an impossible change to make.

Due to this reality, they push to keep living “as is” because that works better for them.

This can be a negative line of thinking and starts to eat away at the relationship until there is nothing left at all.

3) Scared To Make Changes

They refuse to make changes and feel it is the wrong path to take. If they were to make changes, it might lead to negative consequences they are not ready to deal with at this stage in their life. Even if they can handle those problems, they will still push them away because it’s “easier” to stick with the marriage.

They don’t want to deal with a new property, new arrangements, and getting back into the dating world.

This is why they stick to the status quo and hope things get better or they get used to this way of living.

4) Assume Improvement In The Long-Term

Stressors can be the reason for a short-term lull in a relationship. This can be a major money crisis, unemployment, a newborn baby, or something else. The couple assumes it is these stressors that are the reason for their unhappy state of mind even if that is untrue.

They use it as a crutch to lean on so they can push the issues away for another date.

This improvement never occurs, and they keep waiting for it until things get to a horrible state.

Many experts state this is a common reason cited by unhappy couples.

5) Social Reasons

It’s important to note additional variables do play a role including social pressure against divorce. The concept of breaking one’s marriage is looked down upon even to this age.

Whether it has to do with society in general or religious reasons, people remain unwilling to separate despite their state of unhappiness. This can lead to reckless decisions and reluctance to make appropriate changes. These social reasons start to weigh them down, but they never break. This is a common occurrence among couples that are dissatisfied.

So, when do couples finally give up? There are multiple reasons, and most involve how they feel about the issues listed above. Are they okay with making changes? Are they happy with the alternatives (i.e. romantic partners, social status)? Are they unable to see future improvement in the relationship? These are all key reasons for why the divorce becomes the only meaningful solution in their lives. At this point, they go ahead with the separation and call it a day.

It is important to recognize these reasons and understand the value of dissecting marriages.

Written by Lachlan Brown

I’m Lachlan Brown, the editor of Ideapod and founder of Hack Spirit. I love writing practical articles that help others live a mindful and better life. I have a graduate degree in Psychology and I’ve spent the last 6 years reading and studying all I can about human psychology and practical ways to hack our mindsets. If you to want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Twitter or Facebook.

toxic people traits

15 Common Traits of Toxic People, According to Psychologists

Willpower doesn’t help you achieve anything. Here’s how to actually change your life