How to manifest your ex back (even when you’re not talking)

Are you still pining for your ex? Are you trying to figure out how to get him or her back?

If so, you’re not alone. Getting back together with an ex can be extremely tricky, especially if things ended on a sour note.

Luckily, there are numerous ways to draw your ex back into your life so that you can begin dating again — and you don’t even need to be talking in order for this to work.

Magic? Well – yes and no – I’m talking about the power of manifestation!

Today I will show you how to manifest your ex back, even if you are not on speaking terms right now!

1) Get really clear on what you want

Are you absolutely clear on what you want? What do you really want in your relationship with your ex?

If you can’t answer this question clearly, then manifesting your ex back into your life will be extremely difficult.

The more you know what you want, the easier it will be to manifest it into your life.

You have to have a very clear idea of what you want to manifest. You can’t just hope that something will happen, or that you’ll stumble upon what you’re looking for.

You’ve got to be able to visualize and feel what you’re trying to attract into your life.

Now: this is where a lot of people fail when they try to manifest something.

They believe they know what they want and skip this crucial step, diving head-first into the next few steps, but without an extremely clear intention, manifestation doesn’t work.

You see, you might want your ex back, but do you want them in your life? Do you want another relationship with them? Do you want them to be your best friend, or do you just want the way they made you feel and the memories of times spent together to return?

The simple answer is that you need to be clear about what it is that you want exactly.

If you are not certain about this, you might want to take a few hours, or even days to let yourself think things through.

For me personally, it really helps to write things down.

This is actually another crucial part of this step! Take a sheet of paper or a journal and write down bullet points of what you want.

This could be “they love me”, “they spoil me with sweet little gifts”, “they listen to me and respect me”, etc.

Then, in another column, I want you to write a bullet point list of emotions that you will feel as soon as your dreams get manifested.

That could be:



In Love




Now, lastly, you can write a little diary entry from the perspective of the future you, when things have already come true.

That might sound something like “I can’t believe it happened, my ex called me and told me they want to try again. We are meeting tonight…”

Really have fun with this, you can get as creative as you want.

It is important to use your intuition and let yourself write down what it is that you really want.

This part is actually crucial for the manifestation to work because as soon as you can visualize your dreams coming true, you can start to believe that it’s possible!

And the best part?

It’s really fun immersing yourself in the idea of what could be!

Now, this process will help you with the next step, because it will actually make you think about that potential relationship:

2) Take some time to yourself to figure out if that relationship is worth returning to

If you are desperately trying to get back with your ex who you are very much not on speaking terms with right now, it may be worth taking a step back and asking yourself why the relationship ended in the first place.

You see, sometimes, we are so blinded by what we think we lost, that we forget to realize that we might be better off without them as a part of our life.

You should, however, give yourself some time to think about this.

The best thing you can do is to spend some time alone and just think about what the relationship was like before it all went wrong, and whether it would be worth returning to.

The thing is, some people would rather be in a terrible relationship than be alone, and if you know at your core that you are one of those people, I beg you to take more time for yourself and heal.

You deserve to be treated the way you want to be treated, and you deserve to not be with someone who treats you badly – which is why I highly recommend taking some time for yourself to really think about whether this relationship was good for you.

During that alone time, I think it is also important to reflect on why the relationship ended in the first place. I will talk about this in a second, but it’s a crucial step in the process.

One thing to mention here is, don’t fall in love with the potential of that person or that relationship.

Really take it for what it is and ask yourself “If nothing at all changed in the way they treat me or the way things go, and I knew it would never change in the future, would I still want to be with them?”

If the answer is yes, you’re ready for the next step:

3) Visualize your dream outcome

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Now it’s time for visualization – a crucial part of the manifestation process.

Visualize the kind of relationship you want with your ex. Visualize the two of you together happily and in love.

See yourself smiling and laughing, and your ex doing the same. Try to feel as though you are in that moment in your life – feel like you are actually there with your ex.

You may also want to write down your emotions as you visualize this happening.

You can write down how you would feel if your ex was in your life again. How would you feel if you got closure?

How would you feel if you were able to apologize and move past old arguments?

Now: you can take your emotion-bullet point list for reference here!

Visualization is a fun part of manifestation because essentially, you get to daydream about what you want to happen.

It’s really fun to take a few minutes and visualize, and it does help immensely with how quickly your dreams manifest.

The reason why visualization is so important is because visualization allows your subconscious mind to work with you – it helps trigger events that happen in the real world.

Now: in order for this process to work, however, you need to allow your emotions to come up.

While you visualize, allow yourself to feel all the love, happiness, and excitement that you would if things came real!

Emotions are literally energy in motion and so they are the key to attracting things into your life.

Whenever you visualize, let those emotions come up.

Try to visualize as often as you can – during meditation, while brushing your teeth, in the shower, on your way to work,…

The more often you do this, the quicker you will manifest!

Now, the next point is not quite as happy…

4) Understand why the relationship ended and accept it

If you have been trying to get your ex back for a long time, you need to understand why the relationship ended in the first place.

You have to be extremely clear and honest with yourself in order to move forward and try to get back together with your ex.

If your relationship ended due to a specific reason – a reason you had control over – then it is your job to overcome these things.

If you broke up with your ex because of something specific that you need to change in yourself, then maybe you need to take action on these things.

If your relationship ended due to something that your ex did, or that you had no control over, then you need to really consider if you want to manifest your ex back into your life.

Usually, relationships end because of mutual mistakes, in most cases both partners could have done things better.

Unless you had a rare case where your ex was completely to blame, it’s important that you understand the reasons of the breakup and accept it.

You can’t move forward unless you let go of the past – unless you accept that the relationship ended for a reason – even if you don’t agree with that reason.

If you want to manifest your ex back, you have to accept the reasons why you broke up in the first place.

Think about it: how can you change or fix something if you can’t even accept the fact that there is something to be fixed?

And trust me, if you broke up – there is something to be fixed.

That already brings me to my next point:

5) Make changes in yourself that would improve the relationship

If you want to manifest your ex back into your life, you have to make changes in yourself.

You have to work on improving your relationship with yourself, and then with others.

If your relationship with your ex ended because of something you did or you neglected to do, then you have to take steps to change that.

You have to take responsibility for your actions, and make a promise to yourself that you will do better.

This is not about “changing yourself for a partner”, this is about taking accountability for the ways in which you might have negatively impacted your past relationship and actively working on improving.

The thing is, whether you get back together with your ex or not, working on those things will improve any future relationship you might have!

And unless you actually change something about yourself or your behavior, there is no way for the new relationship to work.

Think about it: if both you and your ex are the same, you will fall back into the same patterns and mistakes as you did last time.

So, use this time apart wisely and work on yourself, so that when you end up back together, things will be different.

Is it still not working, are you still not attracting them? Then the next point might help:

6) What is holding you back? Work on your limiting beliefs

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If you want to manifest your ex back into your life, you have to let go of any limiting beliefs you may have.

You have to realize that you deserve a loving, healthy, and fulfilling relationship – whether that is with your ex or someone new.

You have to believe that you can have a healthy and loving relationship.

If you’re constantly holding on to your old relationship, you’re not open to a new one.

OK, so that sounds pretty vague. But hopefully, you get the idea – you have to let go of any beliefs that could be holding you back from manifesting your ex back.

You see, most manifestations are sabotaged by this exact thing: we all have limiting beliefs about ourselves.

Those are beliefs that we carry with us, that could be holding us back because we are afraid of what happening next.

For example, this is a belief I had: “I am not worthy of love”.

I would constantly tell myself and feel unworthy, whenever I thought about getting back together with my ex.

On a subconscious level, this belief acted like a huge roadblock, preventing my manifestations from coming true.

How could I attract something if, at my core, I didn’t believe I deserved it?

This is why you need to really discover what your limiting beliefs might be and work on overcoming them.

How you may ask? Well, my next point will give you some answers:

7) Use positive affirmations each day

Positive affirmations are a great way of changing your mindset and helping you to let go of your limiting beliefs.

If you are constantly thinking about how you want your ex back, and how you don’t deserve love, you are not open to attracting them.

You have to let go of your attachment to your ex, and be open to the universe delivering you a new kind of love.

Affirmations are a great way of helping you to do that. They can also help you to focus on you, and to begin loving yourself.

Positive affirmations are little phrases that can be repeated several times a day, to help you focus on the new, improved you.

An example of positive affirmations could be things like “I love myself”, or “I am ready for a loving relationship”.

You need to find affirmations that would specifically resonate with you and your situation. It has to feel right.

Maybe “I attract love”, or “I am worthy of healthy love”.

You can look online or write your own.

Repeat these affirmations often, if possible even while looking in a mirror.

During meditation is another great time to implement this tool as your subconscious mind is very susceptible to suggestions during this time.

You can even write them down and tape them on your bathroom mirror, or on your fridge.

Anywhere where you will be reminded of it often.

If you want to manifest your ex back into your life, you have to overcome these limiting beliefs and open yourself up to love.

Positive affirmations are a great way of doing that. They can also help you move forward by moving the relationship from the mind and into the heart space.

Now that you’ve done all that, it’s time for one of the hardest steps:

8) Let go of the attachment to the outcome and trust the universe

If you desperately want to get back together with your ex, you may be holding on to that attachment.

If you are constantly thinking about how you want them back in your life, you are not open to a new person in your life and you are sabotaging your own manifestation.

You have to let go of your attachment to your ex, and trust that the universe will deliver you the right person for you – whether that be your ex, or someone else.

This is by far the hardest step.

I know you want to get your ex back, but in order for that to happen, you need to get rid of your attachment to the idea of them.

Lean back and figuratively hand the steering wheel to the universe.

Trust fully, that no matter what happens and who you end up with, it will be for your highest good.

None of this will be easy and a lot of work, but know that it will come to you in the way that it is meant to come to you.

You may have a hard time accepting that this is the truth, but as long as you are working on yourself and not just attaching your future to them, it’s the truth.

Speaking of working on yourself:

9) Focus on yourself and your life

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If you are manifesting your ex back into your life, you have to be completely open to this new relationship.

You have to have no attachment to your past relationship, and be ready to move on and find new love.

But most importantly, you also have to be committed to yourself.

You have to be committed to loving yourself, and to making yourself a priority in your life. If you are not taking care of yourself, you are not ready for a new relationship.

You see, now comes the time in this process that will probably yield the most growth and progress.

When you focus on making your life the best it can possibly be, you are attracting your ex without even speaking to them.

They will want to be a part of this amazing reality you are creating for yourself! When you focus on yourself and your life, you will not be worried about where your ex is or what they are doing.

You will be too busy working on yourself to care about them.

You want to get rid of the neediness and focus on being a better you, who will attract better people into your life.

And the best part?

You will feel confident that no matter what happens, you will be okay.

That brings me to my last point:

10) Watch your life unfold and enjoy the process

Your relationship with your ex is not going to magically appear out of nowhere.

You have to be patient, and you have to enjoy the process. You have to enjoy focusing on yourself and improving yourself so that you can be ready for a new relationship.

Essentially, you have to enjoy letting go of your attachment to your ex and being open to a new type of love in your life.

You get to enjoy watching your life unfold, and let it happen naturally.

The right person will come when you are ready for them – and in the meantime, focus on enjoying your life and on being kind to yourself!

Did you know that the Universe often delivers what we want at our core, even if we don’t know it yet at the time?

If you follow all of these steps, nothing is standing in the way between you and manifesting your ex back into your life.

However, after doing all these steps correctly, you might be open to anything – whether that’s your ex coming back or a completely new person.

The universe will deliver what you need and want the most if that’s your ex-great, but if not, be open to other possibilities.

This life is such an exciting process, lean back and enjoy watching it all unfold!

Final thoughts

I hope this article helped you to figure out how to manifest your ex even when you aren’t talking to them.

If you want to get even deeper and understand both yourself and the breakup, there is an amazing book that dives exactly into those topics that will then help you manifest!

It’s called “Win your ex back” and you can find it here.

Follow these steps and I promise you will get to a place in your life where you are happier again!

Picture of Anna Scheucher

Anna Scheucher

Freelance writer specializing in holistic health, wellness, and psychology. Check out my blog to find out more!

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