Flirting is easy when you’re young and you’ve got all the right curves in all the right places. Just a swing of the hips and a flash of the eyes and you’ve got your fresh-out-of-college men on their knees.
But youth doesn’t last forever.
Maybe you’ve gone through one or two long-term relationships that didn’t work out and now you’re back in the dating scene, a few years older than the competition you see at the clubs and the bars.
You might actually think you’ve forgotten how to flirt.
But here’s the thing: flirting is something you don’t forget.
You just have to come at it from a different angle now, and in this case, it’s less about your perfect fit 20-something body, and more about your sexy confidence.
Here’s everything you need to remember when flirting with men:
What You Should Do VS What You Shouldn’t
1) Should: Be Forward
Shouldn’t: Go Overboard
While you might have seen it in all the movies, there’s no reason why a lady has to wait for the man to come over and get them a drink.
If you see someone you like, go out there and get him. Send some looks, try to read his hints, and walk on over and start working your magic.
But of course, the last thing you want to do is go overboard. Don’t go crazy just because it’s your first time back in the dating world in nearly a decade. Not every man deserves to get a shot at your magic.
2) Should: Talk Like Him
Shouldn’t: Don’t Push It
You want to make sure that you can bond with the next man of your dreams, so try to talk to him in a way that his friends would do.
And that means finding some common ground.
If you like the same sports as him, then talk about sports; if you read the same books, pull out your favorite literary characters.
It’s all about showing him you’re so much more than just a pretty face.
But remember: there’s a thin line between finding common ground and looking desperate.
If the guy isn’t into you, then there’s no amount of common ground that can turn that upside down. Pushing it is the last thing you want to do, because your time is worth so much more than that.
3) Should: Be Touchy
Shouldn’t: Don’t Get Him in Bed to Flirt
No one can resist a nice touch from a beautiful woman. Touching a man sends all the right signals in all the right places.
This tells him that you want to know more about him (and possibly even touch him in other places), but also tells him that you’ve got the class to keep it subtle.
But touching needs to stay at touching, at least in the beginning.
If you’re offering and throwing out sex the moment you meet someone, that’s the exact definition of over-flirting.
Giving away sex is one of the easiest ways to spoil any future you might have with the man.
4) Should: Flirt With Texts
Shouldn’t: Don’t Send Nudes
It’s 2019, and everyone’s got a phone. Flirting over text is the new thing, and if you’re not doing it, you might as well throw out any chance of holding his attention.
But text flirting is more than just winks and compliments. Check out his social media pages, compliment him on pictures, share and like certain things, and tease him.
Let him remember you at all times of the day, and the things you want to do with him.
Does that involve sending nudes? Maybe, but more likely not.
While sending nudes is normal amongst soon-to-be-couples, it’s not something you want to whip out the day after you meet someone.
Keep your nudes to yourself, at least until you’ve had a couple of dates and you think you really like him.
5) Should: Practice
Shouldn’t: Don’t Play Games
Like any skill, flirting needs to be practiced and honed.
No one comes out of the womb as a master flirter, and when you’ve spent years out of the dating lifestyle, then your flirting is probably not as sharp as you think it is.
So practice, even on men that you’re not trying to date. Cute barista? Say something saucy. A hottie at a park? Smile and wink. Some guy checking you out at a store? Walk by him, a little too close for comfort. Practice makes perfect.
But there’s a difference between practicing and playing games. If you find a man that you’re practicing with, make sure that you don’t send any long-term signals.
The last thing you want is to have a trail of creepers stalking you online just because you don’t know when to stop smiling.