Paul Brian
There are certain habits that bring people closer to you and attract people.
Then there are habits that don’t work in your favor and make people avoid you.
Here’s a look at the most likeable habits that make people want to be around you.
1. You’re a good listener
First up: you listen.
This is increasingly rare in today’s world where so many people seem to be literally glued to their smartphone.
People respond very positively when they see that you are fully present, paying attention to them and listening to what they say.
2. You don’t judge much
Next up: you don’t judge.
I mean, sometimes you judge, like if a guy is swearing at his girlfriend in the street or something.
But you refrain from judgment as much as possible.
You may have a coworker who leads a lifestyle you find immature or stupid, but you still treat them with genuine respect and interact well with them in the work environment.
This is a big plus in terms of people wanting to be around you.
3. You build people up
People come in all types, but if you had to break them into three categories it would be the following:
- People who build others up and add something to a job, relationship or interaction.
- People who are passive and generally not memorable in a job, relationship or interaction.
- People who are resentful and in a victim mentality and tear others down in a job, relationship or interaction.
All of us should aim to be in the first category, because if you think about it this would create a world of immense win-win opportunities.
If you practice building folks up then you’ll notice that they automatically come to you.
This doesn’t mean flattery, but it does mean sometimes focusing on the positives of people rather than their negatives.
4. You bring people together
Next is that you bring people together.
This is an amazing habit which could be summarized as networking.
This means that with the many or few contacts you have, you try to use them to help others and link them up with people who can help them.
Almost all of us got our jobs and career progress by getting in touch with this kind of a maven who links us up to others who might know how to help and connect us.
If you help bring people together with other people, jobs and relationships they will absolutely adore you.
This brings up a related point…
5. You compete with yourself first
There’s a place for rivalry and competition with others.
It can sharpen our thinking and practices in many ways.
But there’s also a place for self-betterment before and above competing with others.
This draws a lot of people to you, because focusing on improving internally and in your life instead of just in relation to others is a magic formula for killing envy and resentment.
People feel that forward-moving momentum and they want to be around it and be part of it.
6. You encourage and support others
Talking about adding value is that you also encourage and support others through thick and thin.
You’re that dad who never gives up on his depressed son…
You’re that friend who stands by her oldest gal pal even when bad rumors are starting about her taking drugs or stealing…
You’re that sibling who always comes through on the phone for your brother when he’s hurting even though you don’t have to and are plenty busy.
This is valuable. This is empathetic. This habit of empathy and supporting others draws people to you from far and wide.
7. You pursue excellence
Another of the very likeable habits that make people want to be around you is that you pursue excellence in your own life.
People are drawn to winners, there is no doubt about it.
This doesn’t only mean if you happen to be lucky or getting what you want out of life, however.
Being a winner means you don’t give up and that you chase your dreams with all your heart and soul.
People love somebody who is determined and goes after their dreams because it inspires them to do the same.
8. You’re straightforward and honest
Next up is that you’re straightforward and honest.
These qualities are very valuable and draw others to you.
The habit of always telling the truth and being straightforward saves time, builds trust and gets more done.
People like being around somebody like this, so if it’s you then congratulations.
9. You’re consistently loyal
Loyalty is crucially important.
Not only does it make people trust you and enjoy being around you, it also shows them that you respect yourself.
When you have loyalty it means you only make promises you intend to keep and that shows people that you respect yourself too.
10. You tell genuinely funny jokes
There are certain people who can be counted on to make funny observations, tell good jokes and get you to laugh.
Think about it:
Don’t you love spending time with these people?
I sure do!
Most people are the same. If you get people to crack a smile and chuckle they’re going to like you and want to spend time with you.
11. You’re always punctual
Next up in very good habits to make people want to be around you is punctuality.
You can be an incredible and interesting individual but if you’re always showing up late to friends, dates and business meetings, you start to sap respect and patience.
People all have busy lives and like receiving respect.
When they can see that you can’t keep your own schedule in order or get up on time it makes them start avoiding you and seeing you as an annoying amateur.
12. You’re courteous about changes of plans
When you can’t be on time you let people know.
This habit of respecting people’s time comes across very well.
It makes people trust you and like meeting up with you, because they know you won’t flake on them randomly or stand them up.
This is a big plus: if you can’t make it to something let people know!
13. You don’t take hardships personally
When hardship hits, what do you do?
One of the best habits to cultivate is an attitude of not taking hardships personally.
You may be angry, down or irritated, but you don’t think the universe is aligned against you personally.
This fair-mindedness about facing your hardships draws others to you in true empathy and solidarity.
They may see you’re hurting but they can tell you’re not overreacting or thinking it’s all about you and they respect and sympathize with that.
14. You’re respectful in relationships
Next is that you’re respectful in relationships.
Everyone has connections and relationships that don’t go well or end in heartbreak.
But one of the best likeable habits that make people want to be around you is that you maintain respect even in intimate connections.
Even a partner who treated you wrong, you do your best to leave in the past.
You don’t get aggressive, bitter or unstable even about people that hurt you. You cultivate a habit of letting the past remain in the past and acting at your best in intimate relationships.
Which brings me to the last point…
15. You avoid gossip and don’t spread rumors
Spreading rumors is a very bad habit and it’s one that likeable people avoid.
In other words, they are respectful of privacy.
This habit of not crowing about the problems of others is very beneficial.
It shows people they can trust you and it also keeps the negative auras of envy and bitterness away from you, making you much more appealing to others.
Here’s the thing about being well-liked…
The thing about being well liked and popular is that it depends why.
The signs above are habits that make you a genuinely positive force in the lives of those around you.
If you’re well liked for these reasons then you can be sure that you’re liked for who you are and how you act in the world.
If you’re liked for being rich, handsome or famous, then you have a much harder situation on your hands to filter authentic affection and loyalty from gold diggers and bottom feeders.
At the end of the day, practicing the habits above would still be the best path to personal fulfillment and a great life whether or not it makes others drawn to you.
It’s just a bonus that it happens to be very much a win-win scenario!
