I’ve been dating a millionaire for a few months, but something seems off – am I stupid for walking away?

I’ve been seeing this man for roughly 2 months now, and have been on a handful of dates with him. We met over an app but I knew of him already as he’s fairly well known in my area (mainly because of his incredibly flashy car) and the multiple businesses he owns. I have a degree and a masters, work over 60 hours a week, and am really happy with my life at the moment. 

I’ve enjoyed the dates that we’ve been on, but I also don’t feel any immediate ‘spark’ with him. He’s always on time and has taken me on flashy dates, but he’s also pretty deadpan, dry, (a little bit boring!) and seems to be constantly flooded with attention and messages from other women. I don’t know if I’m overthinking or overanalyzing it. When I’ve mentioned my doubts to my friends, they’ve told me I’m being stupid and I’m throwing away a very good opportunity for nothing. Still, I can’t shake off the many comments he makes about how he expects women to cook and clean, how his own mother makes the most delicious meals and takes care of him, how he’s keen on starting a family (with me!) ASAP. I’ve been on dates with men before and have felt undeniable chemistry with them, but this feeling is nothing like that. I’m not holding out for any ‘spark’ or soulmate connection, but at the same time, I have a gut feeling that this isn’t going to go well mixed with worry that I’m throwing away the opportunity of a lifetime for silly spidey senses…

Thanks for this tricky send-in!

My advice: Trust your gut. Period.

While it’s tempting to weigh the pros and cons of this situation based on surface-level benefits (financial security, his existing success), your intuition is giving you major warning signs for very valid reasons.

Before we dive into love life drama, I want to start off by addressing the seemingly well-intentioned comments from your friends. The fact that they’re calling you stupid for wanting to walk away – despite you having voiced aversions and doubts about this man – sounds to me like one big friendship red flag.

Are they prioritizing you having some sort of imagined wealth over happiness?

Because I can almost guarantee you that this man will not be cushioning your life with his millions out of nowhere. You’re likely looking at an iron-clad prenup if you do secure the deal, and that whilst being up against what sounds like quite a number of rivals for his affection. 

You also mention a lack of spark and concerning comments about traditional gender roles and a rush to start a family. Whilst love-at-first-sight doesn’t always happen, a lack of genuine connection is another HUGE red flag that shouldn’t be dismissed in favor of a flashy car or a comfortable lifestyle.

On top of that (as most of us have seen Fifty Shades of Grey), rich men plus control can often combine to produce a toxic combo heavy on manipulation. They want it, they get it, even at the expense of what might be your career pursuits, your independence, your happiness.

Chemistry, even if it grows over time, is crucial for a healthy, fulfilling relationship. His rigid mindset clashes with the independent woman you are, and wealthy men with a controlling nature can create a toxic dynamic.

So, here’s my advice: Walk away gracefully.

There’s someone out there who will not only provide stability but also genuine connection and a partnership grounded in mutual respect. Don’t settle for anything less, and certainly don’t feel any shame in prioritizing your independence, your ambition, or your intuition over chasing a lucrative piggy bank.

You deserve a love that ignites your soul, not just your bank balance.

Wishing you all the best in your search for a meaningful partnership!

Warmly,
Evie

Do you have a question for Evie? If you would like advice from Evie, fill out the form here or send your problem to askevie@ideapod.com.

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Ask Evie

Evie is on a mission to revolutionize relationships and help you sort through your emotional woes. Her popular column helps readers break free from societal restraints and create empowering relationships - both with their inner selves and with those around them. With a wealth of experience in relationship counseling, backed by several professional certifications, she’s open-minded, big-hearted, and extremely compassionate… But she’ll also be completely honest in telling you the (sometimes) brutal truth, so you can get straight to the heart of the matter. Maybe you’re trying to save a marriage that currently feels like a sinking ship? Or worrying that your new friend isn’t quite as nice as they seem? Perhaps you’ve accidentally killed your partner’s goldfish and are weighing up the pros and cons of going to the pet store and finding a doppelganger, or fessing up? Whatever the dilemma, Evie’s at the ready to help sort through the emotional turmoil and guide you towards the next best step. To get in touch with Evie, click here.

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