Is living together a good idea? Everything you need to know

Living together is a wonderful and exciting experience. 

It can also be challenging at times. 

We all want long-lasting love that lasts forever. But before you commit to another person for life, it’s helpful to understand the potential pros and cons of living together as a couple. 

If you’re considering moving in with your partner, here’s what you should know before making that decision.

The Pros

Firstly, let’s see 4 things that make living together a good idea.

1) Have more time together

Sometimes, with a full day’s schedule, it’s hard to find time to spend with your man. 

However, if you decide to live together, you will no longer have to worry about this problem. 

No matter how tired you are after every working day, you will feel very happy when someone is waiting for you at the end of each day.

2) Get to know each other better

Dates can help you get to know him a bit. 

However, if you live together, you will have the opportunity to get to know him much better

When you live together, the two of you are more likely to communicate better about personal issues. 

You can get a better understanding of his hobbies, lifestyle, and more, and vice versa.

You’ll learn more about each other’s strengths and weaknesses. 

You’ll also be less likely to hide your bad habits and faults from each other. 

This can strengthen your relationship.

But remember, it’s a two-way street and it requires both of you to work at it!

3) Checking the mind for compatibility

Surely after a lot of time and calculation, both of you can decide to get married and live together forever. 

However, how do you know if he is the right choice for marriage? The answer can be found through cohabitation. 

This will be an important stage for you to realize if you and he should share a life together.

4) Freedom to “love”

Another benefit that cohabiting can give you – is the freedom to “love”. Physical intimacy plays a vital role in building trust and comfort in couples’ lives. It also helps you to release inhibitions because your sexual desires are satisfied.

The Cons

Secondly, here are 3 drawbacks of living together.

1) No longer excited after marriage.

This is something that couples living together and intending to get married should be aware of. 

Sometimes, the fact that you live with him before marriage will make your marriage less interesting and attractive.

2) Legal troubles.

If the relationship doesn’t work out and both of you decide to break up, the consequences of cohabiting can be very serious, especially when both of you invest money in a common property. 

At this point, you and him may get into legal troubles.

3) Controversy.

Living with a man can sometimes make you feel inhibited; especially when there is no legal bond between the two of you. 

This can lead to heated arguments and damage the relationship.

Things need to do before living together

Nowadays, cohabitation before marriage is no longer a strange thing. 

If two people love each other and decide to get married, cohabitation before marriage can also be considered necessary. 

To avoid marrying the wrong person, before deciding to live together, you need to think carefully about the following things:

1) Travel and spend time together

On weekends or holidays, you should go with your boyfriend somewhere to relax and spend more time together. 

This will allow you to not only understand other people’s daily habits, but also very important to understand more about the personality of the person you plan to live with.

This is one of the best experiences before living together.

It’s the best way for you to imagine what life together is like when two people are together doing everything together 24 hours a day. 

And let’s observe to see if he has “3 enough”: good enough, caring enough for you, knowing enough to ignore the ego to help both of you better

This is just one factor for you to decide whether to live together.

2) Start learning to “compromise” rather than “accept”

When two people with two different ways of life come to live together, there will certainly be conflicts at the beginning of their life together, no matter how big or small. 

Sometimes you like to watch romantic movies, but at the same time, he wants to watch the top match between MU and Chelsea. 

Or you always like cleanliness but he often stays messy…

At this point, what you need to do is that you have to “compromise” with him about housework, sharing rather than doing everything alone while he is on the sofa watching the football match. 

You should remember that you don’t have to take care of all the housework when living together.

It is the joint responsibility of both of you.

3) Have a clear and detailed conversation with each other

Deciding to move in together is a big deal, it takes a very detailed discussion between the two of you. 

Problems related to money, the contribution between the two sides for a new life will be like? 

Of course, there will be no clarity, but at least you know how he thinks before making the right decision, right? 

This will be extremely significant for the future of your relationship.

4) Give each other a private space

Always remember that besides your guy, you still have other friends, you also need to make time for your own activities and hobbies and so does your guy. 

Sometimes, you want to go shopping or coffee with your best friend and your guy also has a crazy day with drinking buddies. 

This helps both of you refresh the relationship, helping you both become more attached. 

Never think your world is only for him!

5) Learn to “respect” each other

You or he is used to living alone for a long time, making decisions for yourself or himself without having to consult anyone or tell anyone. 

However, when both of you share the same house, everyone’s opinion, everything you both do affects the other.

So, if you suddenly want to spend time with your best friend again after many years of separation, the first thing is to send him a text saying you will be home late or give him a phone call to reassure him. 

These are very small things but show respect for your partner and cherish the relationship.

Sometimes people think this means they are tied up and their freedom is taken away. 

But try to put your position in the guy and vice versa, you will understand each other’s feelings to build a lasting relationship.

6) Tell your partner your habits and principles that you want to be respected.

No matter who you are, there will be some fixed habit or way of thinking that you don’t want to change. 

What you need to do now is speak up so that the other party knows. 

For example, you don’t want to share towels or it’s important for you that cutting boards for raw and cooked food must be different.

7) Agree on how to resolve when there is a dispute

When living together, the couple’s chances of contact will increase.

This is also the reason for the controversy. 

Therefore, before living together, it is necessary to agree on how to resolve disputes. 

Some ideal suggestions are not to be too emotional, not to wait until the next day.

It is better to talk and give ideas to find a solution.

8) Financial problems

Money is a cause of arguments and conflicts when living together and even after marriage. 

Your finances will change dramatically. 

Therefore, it is necessary to have principles on spending and saving. 

Based on the actual costs incurred and the income, both of you together find out a reasonable plan for who is responsible for what payment.

9) Sex

When you are moving in together with your boyfriend, some of the things you have to consider are different from being single.

If you are not careful before living together, it will be a big problem after living together! 

This not only applies when you have been a virgin.

It also has significance in understanding your partner’s sexual habits and preferences before moving in together.

This will definitely happen when you live together so prepare yourself with the basic knowledge to prevent unwanted pregnancy.

10) Decide how long to live together before getting married.

pexels shvets production 8933641 Is living together a good idea? Everything you need to know

Premarital living together is a different kind of marriage.

It is important to decide whether or not to live together before marriage, at which time you can understand how you should go from living together to marriage.

If after living together for a period of time, both of you want to marry but he doesn’t want to marry for 10 years (for example), then don’t live together. 

If you don’t agree on this before moving in and then there are problems, it will be very easy to break up.

For example, after how long or until both of them have saved up how much will they register/organize the marriage.

Last words

No one can tell you if you’re ready for cohabitation. 

Only you can answer for yourself.

Now that you know the possible benefits and drawbacks of cohabitation, you can decide whether to take this step in your life. 

If you choose to live together, make sure that you are both committed to the relationship, have the same goals, and have similar values. 

And, most important of all, do not rush into the decision. 

Take your time and make sure you’re ready before making any major decision.  

And remember, whether you choose to move in or not, you can still be happy and in love!

Picture of Nguyet Yen Tran

Nguyet Yen Tran

Yen is a freelance writer and a researcher specializing in mental health, self-awareness, and psychology. Her hobby is studying human behavior throughout their reaction upon situations. Be sure to check out her other posts on our blog.

Enhance your experience of Ideapod and join Tribe, our community of free thinkers and seekers.

Related articles

Most read articles

Get our articles

Ideapod news, articles, and resources, sent straight to your inbox every month.