There’s a fine line between friends with benefits and falling for one another.
Typically, there are signs that will let you know if your FWB has the potential to be something more than just getting off together.
In some cases, it may even feel like you’re dating them as friends with benefits, but then there are cases where they don’t want anything more.
Here are 10 ways to know if it’s more than just friends with benefits. Read these carefully to save yourself some heartache further down the line.
1) They never call you
If you’re having sex with someone without being exclusive, it’s a given that they’ll be seeing other people.
There’s no commitment to monogamy in a friends-with-benefits situation.
However, you still might be unsure whether they are actually seeing people.
You’ll get a feeling that they are seeing other people if they never call you.
If they never want to talk to you on the phone, it could mean they are seeing other people or simply don’t like you that much.
If you’re in a friends-with-benefits relationship, you should be cool with them seeing other people.
If you’re not, you might be better off getting involved with someone else.
If you’re in a friends-with-benefits relationship and they never ever call you just to see what is going on, that is a pretty big sign that they don’t see you as a potential partner.
On that note…
2) They never check in to see how you’re doing
If you’re in a friends-with-benefits relationship, you probably don’t see each other that often.
If you do happen to see each other, it’s likely that you’ll be having sex.
Beyond that, you’re probably not going to be spending much time together.
That said, if you’re in a friends-with-benefits relationship and they don’t really care how you’re doing, they probably don’t really care about you.
They may not be seeing other people, but they may not be an open and caring person.
If they don’t care about your hobbies and interests, they definitely don’t care about you or your life.
You see, if there was a chance that this person wanted you as a potential future partner, they would make that a bit more clear by checking in with you and seeing how you’re doing!
Speaking of how you’re doing…
3) When you don’t feel good, they’d rather not hang out
If your FWB is a good friend, you’ll know that they care about you and your well-being.
When you’re sick and you let them know, they should be checking in on you.
That means they should be asking how you’re feeling, bringing you food, and maybe even taking care of your pets.
If they never want to hang out when you’re sick, it may mean that they just don’t care about you.
They might be concerned about being around you and contracting your illness, or they may just not care about your well-being.
Either way, it’s not a good sign, and it may mean that you’re just a booty call to them.
You see, when they know that they might not get sex from you and that immediately makes it uninteresting to hang out with you, that’s a huge sign that they don’t see you as anything more.
4) On holidays, they never check in with you
If you’re in a friends-with-benefits relationship, chances are you don’t see each other on a regular basis.
If you do see each other on special holidays, it may be because you’re seeing each other for sex.
However, if your FWB never sends you a Merry Christmas or Happy Birthday text, then they probably couldn’t care less about you to be honest.
If they don’t care about you enough to want to spend time with you on holidays, they probably don’t care about you.
Now, you will also notice their intentions by how they act when you are together:
5) After you’re done, they immediately leave
After you and your FWB are done having sex, they will probably want to leave.
Regularly having sex with someone and then having them leave after sex is probably a sign that you’re in a friends-with-benefits situation.
If your FWB never wants to hang out beyond you having sex, it may mean that care about you.
If they don’t care about you, they probably don’t want to spend any time with you beyond the sexual act.
If your FWB has no interest in getting to know you or your hobbies and interests, they probably don’t care about you.
Now, the next point kind of relates to this one:
6.) They never stay the night
If you’re having sex with someone on a regular basis, they may not want to stay the night.
That’s because they probably don’t want to spend more time with you than necessary, as harsh as that may sound.
If they don’t want to stay the night, it may be because they don’t want to get too close to you.
If they don’t want to get too close to you, they probably don’t care about you.
Think about it: spending the night usually means having breakfast together the next morning and that is quite intimate.
Sure, sex is intimate, too, but this is a different type of intimacy.
7) They only ever reach out when they feel like it
If you’re in a friends-with-benefits relationship, you probably don’t see each other that often. If you do see each other, it’s probably because you’re having sex.
If your FWB only ever reaches out to you when they want to have sex, it may mean that they don’t care about you.
The thing is, if they cared about you, they would also reach out to you when they weren’t just horny.
They’d check up on you and how you’re doing, and they’d want to know about your day.
8) When you’re together, they are sweet and seductive, but then they go MIA
If you’re in a friends-with-benefits relationship, you probably don’t see each other that often. When you do see each other, it’s probably because you’re having sex.
If your FWB is sweet and loving toward you when you’re together, but then they go MIA, it may mean that they don’t care about you.
If they only want to be around you when they want to have sex, it may mean that they don’t care about you.
It can be so confusing because when they are being all sweet, it can be easy to fall for that act and think that they are actually in love with you.
In reality, being nice to you while you are having sex is really not an accomplishment – they’d have to show you their good intentions beyond that, too.
But maybe they were really clear with their feelings:
9) They have told you that they don’t want a relationship
If you’re in a friends-with-benefits relationship, you probably don’t see each other that often. A romantic relationship is something different than a friends-with-benefits scenario.
If your FWB has told you that they don’t want a relationship, in god’s name, please believe them.
You see, it’s almost impossible to change someone’s mind about a matter like this, and trying to do so will only make you miserable.
Speaking of feeling miserable:
10) You feel unsure of where you stand with them
If you feel unsure of where you stand with your FWB, it may mean that they don’t care about you.
Think about it: when someone truly cares about you, it is really difficult to hide those feelings completely.
On the contrary, they will be pretty clear about how they feel about you and what they want.
Now: when you feel unsure of where to stand with someone, take this as a sign that they don’t care about you as much as you wish they did.
If you are reading this article, you are likely in a situation where you are confused about your friends-with-benefits situation.
The thing is, if you are secretly hoping that they have feelings for you, then you are already in a bit too deep for this kind of connection.
Having a casual sexual relationship is tricky to begin with, feelings are bound to develop on one side eventually.
Chances are that you’d love to start a relationship, but you like this other person so much that you are compromising your own values to be in a FWB situation with them.
This is quite problematic, as you are neglecting your own boundaries and self-respect for this person – no wonder you aren’t feeling great!
Unfortunately, there’s really only one solution to this, unless this person is truly ready for a relationship: moving on and working on your relationship with yourself.
If you are unsure where to begin this journey, this masterclass is the perfect place to start.
Not only will you learn how to finally love yourself, you will also practice how to set healthy boundaries and attract only the love you truly deserve into your life.
I know this is a difficult step to take, but you deserve someone who loves you for who you are without having to wonder about their intentions or feelings.
The fact that you’re in this situation suggests that you might not believe that you deserve a fulfilling and healthy love, which is why you settle for less.
Exploring this feeling and seeing why you feel that wy and if you can do anything to change that can be really helpful.
I know you really like this person, but sometimes we need to let go of people that are no longer good for us.
Who knows, maybe you taking back your own self-worth will actually inspire them to step up their game and be serious about you.
And if not, you will finally be in a position to find someone who will.