Is he still interested after sleeping with me? 18 ways to find out

After sleeping with a guy, the natural question is: “Is he still interested?”

At some point, you might have experienced a friend or a stranger’s reaction to one of your hookups that left you confused and wondering whether there was something wrong with what you just did.

Did he leave too soon? Did he stay late? Is it just me or has this mystery guy been avoiding me since then?

We’ve all come across this situation where we’re not sure if the guy is still interested after sleeping with us.

The answer is complicated, but I have some ideas.

You can start by checking out these 18 ways!

Let’s get started!

1) He connects with you on social media

If he connects with you on social media, it’s a clear sign of his interest. In fact, if he doesn’t network with others you know, it means that this guy is worth exploring.

As such, make sure to check out his social media accounts to see if he shares anything with you.

It would be best to monitor his online activity so that you can follow what’s happening in his life.

Sleeping with someone doesn’t automatically mean a guy is interested in you.

He may be trying to get in touch with you because he wants sex again or he is genuinely into you. You can test this out by connecting with him on social media and seeing if he messages or comments on your page.

If he follows your Instagram posts, retweets your tweets, or likes your Facebook statuses, then that is another indication that he is still interested in you. It could be a big deal for two reasons:

He wants to see how you are doing in your regular life — normal. He wants people to know how awesome a person he is with — egotistical and presumptuous.

2) If he initiates texting with you, it may mean that he is interested in you

It’s a pretty good sign!

He may want this even more if he initiates it after having se— well, never mind.

When a guy initiates texts with you,  it may mean that he is interested in getting to know you on a personal level.

He might not want to talk to you over the phone because he is afraid that he’ll reveal information about himself too easily.

He might also be nervous about how fast you two can make the next move. Therefore, he texts instead of calling because it takes longer and is more discreet.

If he initiates texting with you, then it will be a good thing if this continues after you have slept together.

You may think that this text is just a casual one and that it doesn’t mean anything at all but deep down inside, you know that this could indicate his interest in pursuing things further.

During the conversation, keep an eye out for certain things: does he want to learn more about what your interests are or does he want to hear about your job? People who are only trying to get laid will probably not care about these things.

Your interests and your job can reveal a lot of information about who you are as a person.

3) If he wants to meet up the next day, it’s a good sign

After you have slept together, he might want to see you again.

This means that he is interested in you and that he wants to pursue things with you.

I remember once after I hooked up with this one guy. He actually didn’t make a plan to meet up with me the next day, but he did ask me to meet again for dinner that week.

I think he was only interested in me because we had connected and that’s all it took for him to want to see me again.

We turned out to have a lot of connections. The only problem is that we were both not ready for a relationship at that time, so we couldn’t really turn that into a real relationship.

Even though I was interested in him and he was interested in me, it just wasn’t possible to get together because of distance.

The next day after we hooked up, he invited me over and I felt that sex had become a possibility. But we did not have sex that night.

If a guy who you have just met wants to see you again, don’t be alarmed or shy away from it.

It’s his way of saying that he wants to get to know you better and he is interested.

4) He asks about your preferences

This shows that he really respects you – and it seems like there is mutual interest.

If he asks about your favorite music and movies, restaurants, activities, and places to hang out, this could point to the fact that he is interested in pursuing things with you.

If he isn’t interested in you, then why would he ask these questions?

He wants to know more about the type of person that you are so he can get to know you better.

Therefore, if a guy asks about your favorite movies and music, it’s a good sign that he is interested in getting to know you.

To be honest, I started appreciating this after taking Rudá Iandê’s Love and Intimacy masterclass.

Before, I used to think that intimacy was mostly about physical attraction and common interests. But this free masterclass from the famous shaman Rudá showed me that it’s so much more than that.

It’s about creating a space where both partners can be their authentic selves, asking questions and engaging in ways that may seem simple but are actually deeply meaningful.

This changed the way I approach relationships, and it’s a shift that has led to more genuine connections in my life.

So if you’re trying to gauge if he’s truly interested in you, consider whether he’s striving for this kind of emotional depth.

If he is, then it’s a strong sign that he’s genuinely interested. 

Check out this free masterclass to gain clarity.

5) He wants to stay over

He wants to see you again, check. He wants to stay over, check.

Colin Coward of The Modern Man has a good quote for you:

“If he wants to spend the night, that is actually a very good sign. Obviously, this is assuming you have slept together–but if he stays over, it means he likes you. He likes spending time with you and doesn’t want the night to end. This could be a sign that he wants to see you again—and soon!”

This guy might go through a transition period between the two acts and maybe wants to stay over with you in order for him to get to know you better.

However, if he only stays the night because he is physically attracted to you, you can bet that this is a momentary thing.

6) Notice whether he brags about himself

If he brags about himself, this could be a sign that he is interested in seeing you again.

He might not be bragging about how great of a lover he is.

He may brag about how the company he’s working for has sent him to Australia or to South Africa and so on.

In this case, he may want to see whether you are interested in his work and career.

He might also be bragging about how much he has in his bank account or that he has helped out a lot of people.

A guy who brags about himself or tells you about all of these things is trying to impress you.

Maybe it’s a bit annoying somehow. But we have to agree that men sometimes have funny ways to show how much they care.

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7) He gives you compliments while texting

If he compliments you, he’s definitely interested in you!

According to the research that Justin Lehmiller did with over 1,000 women, 82% of girls rated compliments as a sign that a man likes them.

A man who cares about a woman will often compliment her in order to make her feel good about herself.

It’s almost like he wants to make you feel special in order to help him have a better time with you.

And you know what?

He is also trying to tell you that he likes you and that he would like to see you more often.

So make sure you take this into consideration before you jump on the bandwagon.

8) He shows up at your events or meets up with you

If he shows up at one of your events or meets you somewhere, this is a clear sign that he wants to see you again.

In his point of view, this is a way to show you that he can be there for you whenever you need him.

This is simply one way that men show interest in women.

When he shows up because of your invitation, it’s also possible that he wants to hang out with you and catch up on things.

However, if he doesn’t show up at any event or meet-up, then it may be a sign that this guy is not interested in anything serious with you.

9) He makes all the plans for the weekend or week without asking if it’s okay

This means that he is interested in spending time with you!

He wants things to become more serious. He wants to spend time with you, not the other way around.

Men are pretty clear with what they want and don’t want, so if he is making all the plans without asking you if it’s okay, then it means that he wants to spend time with you.

I once met a guy who wanted to see me when we were done with work on a Friday night. I didn’t agree with him and said that I would rather meet up with my friends on Friday than go out on a date.

I’m sure sometimes it’s a bit rushed for a guy to make plans without asking you, but this is a clear sign that he wants to pursue things with you.

10) He introduces you to his friends

This can be a sign that he is interested in you, but it could also be that he is just social and wants to get to know people.

If he introduces you to his friends though, then it may not be too bad after all.

After all, you have an opportunity to meet his friends and hang out with them if you get along with them as well.

This is also a chance for you to get to know him and find out whether he is someone that you would want to go out with.

By knowing what kind of friends he is hanging out with, you can be more sure about his character and personality.

11) He follows your Instagram

This is another obvious sign that he is still interested.

It means that he wants to keep track of you and be more social with you. His interest in you is also likely because he likes looking at your photos of you.

It shows that he cares about your life, and this usually means a lot.

He might be thinking that you are an interesting person to follow on social media because of the things that are happening in your life, and want to make sure what your status is.

If his interest in you is still strong, he is most likely interested in getting to know you better.

The guy that I have mentioned above also did the same thing. He confessed that he stalked my Instagram because he really wanted to know if I decided to meet someone else after spending the night with him.

Some guys are just worried that you got taken away by someone else.

So they follow your Instagram or Twitter just to check up on you and see if you have a new boyfriend.

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12) He keeps up with your activities

This is another sign that he is interested.

It means that he wants to be more social with you and keep track of what you are doing.

He may even want to talk about it in the future and make plans with you. This happens when guys take a real interest in girls that they just met.

Taking an interest in a girl’s life shows commitment and can help him figure out if what she does for a living is similar to his own passions or hobbies.

13) He keeps telling you how pretty and nice you are

Just like the other guy, this is another way for your guy to show his interest in you.

He might have been noticing how beautiful and nice you are already and appreciating those things about you because he wants to date someone who is attractive as well as kind and lovely.

It’s also good to make him feel better about himself because it will encourage him to keep talking about the things that he likes about you.

When he knows that you’re into him and that you are also attracted to him, he will feel good about himself and confident.

When a guy is confident and happy with the way he looks or his life, then it’s a sign that he is open to meeting someone new.

And when this happens, it means that if your interest in each other is mutual then it will be easier for you to develop a relationship with him.

14) He sends you special gifts like flowers and chocolates

Flowers and chocolates are one of the best ways to show your feelings for someone.

It might be hard to see someone do this for you nowadays, but when you do, this is definitely a sure sign that he is interested in seeing you again.

He might have been thinking about you for days and has spent money to send a gift to your office or house.

This means that he wants to establish a relationship with you, especially if he’s doing it frequently.

However, he might also be trying to impress you, which is why it’s important to make sure that you don’t take everything at face value because in some cases, guys can be all talk.

It could be hard to tell the difference between his actions and his words, so it’s good to always be on your guard.

15) He wants to tell his friends about you

If a guy wants to tell his friends about you, it may be because he is interested in pursuing something more with you.

Men are not like women. We share everything with our BFF, but men don’t. So if he wants to tell his friends about you, he is telling you that he is interested in getting to know you better or going on a date with you.

I have met someone who would not even mention my name to his friend at all. He also wouldn’t care if he was asked about me.

One day, he was having lunch with his friend and I came along. His friend asked him about me and he said, ”Oh she’s just a friend I met at a bar the other day”!

That was it! If you are dating someone or are interested in him, make sure that he shares things with his friends. If he doesn’t, it means he just doesn’t care and it’s really not worth it.

16) If he talks about his feelings for you, it’s a good sign

This is because if he isn’t interested in you, then why would he tell you all of these things?

He would tell you how he thinks you are special and amazing and doesn’t want to let you go because he wants to be with you. He would tell you that he can’t wait for the time that he can spend with you and how sweet you are.

Don’t think that this might be some kind of trick.

He just wants to let you know the real feeling. This way, you can have more confidence that he is actually interested in you.

17) He wants to have a special date with you

A date is a traditional way of starting a relationship between two people.

When he wants to have a special date with you alone, it’s usually a sign that he likes you.

He might invite you for dinner, for coffee, or for a walk so you can have time to communicate with each other. Asking you to have a date with him also means that he really wants to get to know you and is interested in meeting you.

Instead of asking you to a bar so you can get drunk and go home with him, he would rather spend more time with you to share things with each other.

A date can also be just a chance for you to get to know him better.

18) Does he ask you to be exclusive?

If he asks you to be exclusive, then it’s a good sign that there is something great about you that he is trying to get into.

This may seem like a bit of a warning sign because it makes things more serious.

However, there’s nothing wrong with being exclusive with one another as long as your intentions are pure and your goals align.

If your goals are getting into a relationship and building something great, then this is not an issue at all!

Just make sure that both of you understand each other clearly.

Be confident and take this opportunity!

All of these are signs that a guy is interested in you.

If he’s showing any interest at all, then it means that you have the opportunity to get closer to him.

It’s up to you whether or not you take this opportunity because it will either make things worse or better for both of you.

You can do whatever you want with this information, but it’s your decision whether or not to do anything with it.

If you feel like he might be into you, then find out! Go out there and make things happen now!

Final thoughts

You wouldn’t want to waste your time and energy with someone who has no interest in you, right?

Don’t settle for less than what you offer!

And what if you do find yourself having feelings for a guy who just wants sex but doesn’t show romantic interest?

It’s okay, this is common. But it’s important to look within yourself, understand why you settle for people who don’t show interest in you, and heal from it.

Then, you can find the relationship you deserve. 

But I know, it’s now easy to engage in that kind of self-reflection, especially when societal norms often tell us to seek validation from external sources.

That’s why tools for self-understanding are so crucial.

One resource that helped me significantly is Rudá Iandê’s Love and Intimacy masterclass which I mentioned above.

This free course provided me with invaluable insights into why someone might not express their interest in me.

Most importantly, it helped me refine my own understanding of love and intimacy. 

Trust me, it’s a transformative experience that prepares you to meet not just any partner, but the right one. 

Here’s the link to the free masterclass again.

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Picture of Tina Fey

Tina Fey

I've ridden the rails, gone off track and lost my train of thought. I'm writing for Ideapod to try and find it again. Hope you enjoy the journey with me.

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