15 things you need to know about ignoring someone you are attracted to

You may have been attracted to someone for a while now, but you’re still not sure if it’s a good idea to pursue this relationship.

You feel like it would be difficult to do right by that person, and you don’t know how to tell them the truth.

Does this sound familiar?

Then, chances are that you’re trying to find some ways to ignore them. But you should know that it’s not always a good thing.

Do you feel that being attracted to this person isn’t the right thing? Are you falling in love with someone who isn’t good for you?

If so, here are 15 things you need to know about ignoring someone you are attracted to.

1) It won’t make them go away

Have you ever asked yourself what the real purpose of ignoring someone you’re attracted to is?

Let me guess.

You think that you can’t be with them. But you can’t stop thinking about them. And that’s exactly why you want to ignore them.

Sounds like you?

Then, you should know that ignoring someone you are attracted to won’t make them go away.

It may seem like a good idea, but it’s not.

Instead, it will only make things worse. Why?

Because ignoring someone you are attracted to is like trying to hide a beautiful flower in the middle of a desert.

Let me explain. You can’t just ignore this person. They will find you, and they will come closer.

People don’t disappear because you ignored them. They might have heard you and understood what you were trying to say, but they might not have been able to take it to heart.

They might have felt hurt or angry, and that could lead them to become more involved with other people. They could even act out their anger toward the person who ignored them.

So, the next time you’ll try to ignore someone you are attracted to, make sure that’s what you really want.

2) You’re not being honest with yourself

Now I want you to stop right there and think about something.

On a scale from 1 to 10, how honest are you with yourself when it comes to love?

Maybe 5? Or maybe even a 1?

Then, you should know that ignoring someone you are attracted to is the same thing. It’s not being honest with yourself.

You might think that you don’t care about this person, but deep down inside, you do care. You just don’t want to admit it.

Now you might think that I’m wrong. You already decided that you don’t want that person in your life.

But why are you trying so hard to ignore them if that’s the case? The reason is that you care about them.

Deep down you know it’s true. But you don’t want to admit it for some reason.

You might not like the way they make you feel, but deep down inside that still attracted to them.

The reason that you are ignoring them is that your heart has been telling you to.

If it’s a 5 or less, then there’s no point in pretending anymore. You need to accept that this person is there and deal with it!

3) You think ignoring will change their attitude towards you

Ignoring someone can be really hurtful, but the real problem is that you’re not allowing yourself to feel attraction anymore.

The more you ignore someone, the less likely it is that your feelings will change.

And instead of releasing yourself from all the bad feelings, you feel because of this person, your anger might even grow.

And that’s not good!

To be honest, this is the worst thing you can do to yourself.

You’ll feel angry, and that anger will make the person you’re upset with even more attractive.

So ultimately, you might end up falling for them.

I know that this might make you feel confused. At least, I couldn’t understand why someone’s attitude might change so quickly. But then I spoke to the professional relationship coaches and understood how ignoring someone actually works.

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4) It will bring up old feelings of guilt and insecurity for both of you

However surprising it might seem, ignoring the person you’re attracted to might actually make you feel guilty, insecure, and even more attracted to the person.

So how does this happen?

Well, when you ignore someone you’re interested in, it creates a gap between you two. And that gap aims to cover up all the feelings of love, attraction, and attraction for each other.

So what does that mean?

It means that your old feelings of insecurity and guilt will come flooding back again. As a subconscious reaction to your ignoring him or her.

And guess what else? This will bring up all those old feelings of insecurity again!

You might be thinking, “But I know I don’t like them” or “I’m not attracted to them” or “They’re not good for me.”

But all of these are lies!

And you know that. But that’s not the point. The subconscious mind doesn’t know the difference between truth and lies, and it will be sending up all those old feelings of insecurity, guilt, and attraction again.

So what do you do?  You need to stop ignoring them!

The best way to deal with this is to become more honest with yourself about your feelings. Accept that the person you’re interested in is there and deal with it! You need to accept them as a part of your life, rather than pushing them away.

5) Ignoring someone may cause more harm than good

Let me tell you a secret.

Ignoring someone who is attracted to you may lead to more drama and more pain.


Because you’re ignoring them!  You’re showing them that you don’t want to talk to them. You’re telling them that you don’t want to be friends with them. And that is the most direct way of saying “I don’t like you.”

So what happens next?  It’s a bit of a wild guess, but I’d say the person might feel hurt and rejected. Wouldn’t you?

And if so, do you think they’ll be happy about it?  Do you think they’ll be happy about not getting your attention when they’re attracted to you?

My guess is no! And also my guess is that rejection and pain are the last things you want to feel.

So, keep in. mind that ignoring isn’t the solution if you don’t want to make things worse.

6) Ignoring someone makes you a rude person

pexels eduardo lempo 3805667 15 things you need to know about ignoring someone you are attracted to

Let’s face it. When you ignore someone, it can be really rude.


Well, because you’re doing it without even knowing what you really think of them.

And the truth is, you’re attracted to them, right?

Sadly, the other person might not even know how much they like you yet!

And if they do know how much they like you,  they might be thinking, “What’s the point of talking to this person if they’re just going to ignore me?”

And that’s where the problem comes in. When you ignore someone, you can’t even see how attractive they are. And when you don’t see how attractive they are, that can lead to a lot of problems as well!

So think about it.  When you ignore someone, it’s rude and bad manners. But when you don’t even know if they’re attracted to you too, and then ignore them, it’s even worse!

7) They will start ignoring you too

Believe it or not, things might turn out differently if you ignore someone.

And when I say “different”, I mean they might feel the same way about you.

When you ignore someone, it feels to them that you don’t care about them anymore.

They might even think that you don’t want to be with them anymore.

So now that they want to be with you, how do they make sure your feelings change?

By ignoring your feelings!  And this is where the game of cat and mouse begins again!  But this time on their side of the fence.  They’ll start ignoring you too, and then ignore you back just as much!

But wait a minute. Why does this happen?

In fact, it’s a common norm people generally do regardless of the reason. In social psychology, we call it reciprocity –  the tendency to return what people gave to us, regardless if it’s something material or symbolic.

For instance, if someone does something nice for you, you will probably do something nice for them too. If someone does something bad to you, you will probably do something bad to them too.

This is how our society works! And this is why you shouldn’t be surprised if they start ignoring you in response!

The result?

You’ll end up losing each other for nothing.

The best way to avoid this is to be honest with them. That way,  they won’t be able to say that you don’t care about them anymore.

8) You can end up in a relationship with them

Considering the other things we discussed, this might sound a bit surprising but that’s true.

You can end up in a relationship with them.

However, if you’re trying to ignore them, you don’t want a relationship with them, right?

But hang on a minute. You’re attracted to them. It means having a relationship with them might sound like a good idea to you. But then, why do you keep ignoring them?

Or how can you end up in a relationship with them?

The answer is simple. If you’re ignoring them, it means you want to be with them.

You might think that if you ignore them, they’ll go away and you won’t have to deal with them anymore.

But the truth is, people do things for various reasons. They might be attracted to you, or even scared of hurting your feelings ( which are very important to them ).

But surprisingly, sometimes this method actually works for attracting people!

9) It will help you become more confident

Sometimes it seems that ignoring people is not a great way to get rid of them.

But this isn’t true. In fact, it can be the best way to deal with them! And also, it might help you become more confident.

Another thing that people might not think about when they’re ignoring someone is that it can help them become more confident.

You see, when we ignore someone, we usually do so because we don’t want to talk to them or be friends with them anymore. And then we feel sad about it and angry about it as well!

But along the way, we might feel that we have enough power over ourselves and as a result, we become more confident.

And that’s a good thing, right? It will indeed help you manage your future relationships better and avoid getting hurt.

10) It will make it easier for you to move on

When someone isn’t good for your life is when they are gone from it. Ignoring them will free up a lot of space in your head so that you can move on with your life while they are still there.

There’s no point dragging something that’s dead and gone around with you. You can’t do anything about it and you’re better off without it.

The more space you have in your head, the easier it will be for you to move on with your life.

That’s actually the main intention behind planning to ignore someone, isn’t it?

You need time for yourself. And you deserve that time too!

You need to be able to move on and build a new life for yourself.

11) Ignoring someone makes them feel invisible and alone

pexels cottonbro 6275773 15 things you need to know about ignoring someone you are attracted to

Even though I’ve just told you that it’s right to be thinking about yourself, sometimes we should also consider others’ feelings.

Ever wondered how they will feel after they notice you’re ignoring them?

Maybe they will feel hurt, frustrated, or even angry.

Imagine for a moment what they would feel like. Just try to look at things from their perspective. Try to be more empathetic.

I know it might be hard to imagine, but I guarantee that you will feel bad if someone starts ignoring you.

It’s important to remember that people also have feelings and emotions, just like we do.

And when you ignore someone, you are literally making them feel invisible. But if you care about them, that doesn’t seem the right thing to do, does it?

12) It will make you feel alone too

Yes, as I said, ignoring someone you’re attracted to will make them feel sad and alone. But here’s the scary part  – it will make you feel that way too.

How does it work?

Ignoring someone you like means that you’re not letting yourself contact them. You’re not letting yourself feel the emotions that you feel when you’re with them.

And then, pretty soon, you will feel lonely and sad for no reason at all.

It’s not a good idea to take people for granted. It’s also not a good idea to ignore them or make fun of them.

Such things will only make them feel bad and hurt your own feelings in the process. So instead of doing that, it’s better to be honest with people and accept them for who they are.

13) They don’t understand why you’re ignoring them

Sometimes we ignore people we’re attracted to because we want to punish them for things they’ve done or said.

Does this sound like you?

Trust me, I’ve been there.

It’s only natural that when someone does something wrong, we get angry and want to punish them. But if you do this, you will only end up hurting yourself.

But you know what? We can’t change other people’s behavior in this way because most times, they don’t know the reason. They have no idea why we’re ignoring them.

So, remember: if their actions have hurt or upset you, then say it and explain to them what they’ve done wrong.

If they still don’t understand why you’re upset, try to tell them in a way that they can understand. Just be honest and make it clear.

14) It will make it harder for that person to be interested in you

Have you ever noticed how much attention people give to people they’re close with?

And I mean really close with. Like, a best friend kind of close?  I have, and I can see it happening right in front of me!

It’s a funny thing, but the more someone is aware that they’re being ignored by their crush, the less likely they are going to be interested in pursuing a relationship with them.

But let me guess. If you’re attracted to them, you want this person to be interested in you. But by ignoring them, you make it harder for them to like you.  So you don’t want them to be interested in you.

Does that make sense?

It’s a paradox, I know. But it’s true. If someone is ignoring you and you want them to be interested in you, then act like they are interested in you. It’ll make it easier for them to like you and for them to ignore your existence.

15) You will feel bad about yourself

And finally, if you’re ignoring the person that you’re attracted to, you might feel bad about yourself.

Why would you make yourself feel bad?  Why would you want to do that?  It’s not right!

Yes, everyone deserves happiness. But ignoring someone isn’t the right way to tell them what you want from them.

It’s not right, it’s not fair and it won’t make either of you happy. And even if they are happy, you’ll still feel bad about yourself because you didn’t tell them how much they mean to you.

So why would you do that?  Just stop being a …. and tell them how much you want to be with them! It will make everyone happier, I promise!

What next?

So what does all this mean?

In a nutshell, ignoring someone you’re attracted to might lead to different results in your relationship.

If you ignore them, they might not think that you’re interested in them. They might not think you’re worth their time, so they’ll stop trying to get to know you. And if they stop trying to get to know you, then it’ll be hard for them to like you and for them to be interested in a relationship with you.

But if they do like you and want a relationship with you, then they might feel bad when they see your ignoring behavior. So instead of trying to get closer with you, they’ll just walk away from the situation altogether.

So even though ignoring someone might seem like an easy way out of a problem, it’s actually not the best way to solve the issue.

Picture of Nato Lagidze

Nato Lagidze

Nato is a writer and a researcher with an academic background in psychology. She investigates self-compassion, emotional intelligence, psychological well-being, and the ways people make decisions. Writing about recent trends in the movie industry is her other hobby, alongside music, art, culture, and social influences. She dreams to create an uplifting documentary one day, inspired by her experiences with strangers.

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