10 tips to ignore a girl who rejected you and win her over

So, you asked a girl out and she flat out said “no”.

Have you ever considered using some reverse psychology on her?

Did you know that by ignoring her there’s a strong chance that she’ll rethink things?

Here are my 10 tips on how to ignore a girl who rejected you and win her over.

Let’s dive right in:

1) Stop reaching out


I know it’s tempting, it’s only natural that you’ll want to reach out to her after getting rejected.

Maybe you want to try again.

Or maybe you feel uncomfortable about the whole thing and you want to clear the air.

Let me stop you right there.

She rejected you so keep in mind that she doesn’t want to hear from you.

And another thing:

If you reach out, it makes you seem desperate. You asked her out, she said no, now it’s time to step back and let her cool off.

In a nutshell:

Don’t waste your time reaching out to her again and again.

Wait for her to reach out to you.

2) Stop calling/texting her

Do you still feel that you need to call or text her after she rejected you?

I know it’s hard to stop, but you see, you need to ignore her for a while.

She rejected you so don’t call or text her to try and win her over.

Don’t look desperate because it will only have the opposite effect of what you want.

In a nutshell:

Step back from the situation. You both need a cooling-off period after the rejection.

She rejected you so it’s up to her to get in touch with you when she’s ready.

3) Want advice specific to your situation?

While the tips in this article will help you to ignore a girl and ultimately win her over, it can be helpful to speak to a relationship coach about your situation.

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4) Give her some space


If you’re a man, you know that sometimes it can be hard to give a girl some space after she rejects you.

She’s hurt your ego and made you feel like you’re less than perfect. It’s only natural that you’ll want to understand why.

You want to know what she’s thinking and why she rejected you, why she doesn’t feel the same way you do.

Don’t be stubborn.

In essence:

You can’t force her into liking you and you won’t change her mind if you’re needy, you only risk making the situation worse and making a fool of yourself.

Give her some space, don’t keep bugging her, and just let her be for a while.

Let her think about what happened, but don’t try to push the issue.

5) Start dating other women

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If you’ve been rejected by one girl, don’t dwell on it too long.


There are plenty of fish in the sea.

You need to focus on moving forward, on other girls you are interested in and who might be interested in you. You should not be distracted by girls that reject you.

The bottom line is:

Maybe she rejected you, but there are plenty of other girls out there that want to date you.

What’s more, once she sees you going out with other girls she might realize what she’s missing and that she made a mistake in rejecting you.

6) Stop messaging her back

Do you find that the girl that rejected you is acting as though nothing happened and is still sending you friendly texts?

Do you feel that she’s trying to get back in your good graces? Is she trying to pretend that nothing happened?

Don’t fall for it.

She rejected you so stop messaging her back.

You see, you want her to think about what happened.

You want her to get a chance to see what it’s like not to have you constantly write back.

In short:

Ignore her messages. Let her think about what she did, how she hurt you, and what that means for your friendship.

She can’t expect to reject you and act as though nothing happened.

7) Focus on other things

There are plenty of other areas in your life you could focus on right now instead of thinking about the girl that rejected you.

Think about this for a moment:

You need to be focused on your goals, your career, your hobbies, and other things in life right now.

And another thing:

Remember the people in your life who matter – your friends and your family. Don’t neglect the relationships that matter the most.

Once she sees that you’ve moved on with your life and how well you’re doing without her, it will most certainly make her question her decision to reject you.

In a nutshell:

You need to put her out of your mind for now. You cannot let her get in the way of what you want.

8) Work on yourself

Now, I’m not saying that you need to change who you are for this girl.

On the one hand, maybe she rejected you for reasons that have nothing to do with you. Or maybe you’re just incompatible and there’s nothing you can do about that.

On the other hand, maybe there’s something about you that she didn’t like that you can work on – and I don’t mean just for her, but for you and for all your future relationships.

What should you do?

Well, start by trying to identify areas you could improve. Be honest with yourself. Are you loud and obnoxious? Are you shy? Are you proud? Are you insecure? Are you arrogant?

Ask your family and closest friends if there’s something obvious you could work on.

So it all adds up to this:

Maybe the rejection was a way of telling you that there are ways you could improve yourself.

Once she sees that you are ready to address the problem and work on yourself, her opinion of you will change for the better and she may even change her mind about going out with you.

The first step towards working on yourself is reflecting on the relationship you have with yourself.

What does it mean?

Well, the truth is that often we chase an idealized image of someone and build up expectations that are guaranteed to be let down.

But instead, we should try to focus on ourselves and fix our internal issues instead of fixing our partners.

I learned this from the world-renowned shaman Rudá Iandê, in his incredible free video on Love and Intimacy

His practical solutions helped me to develop a whole new perspective on intimacy in relationships. And if you also want to learn how you can start with yourself, here’s what you should do:

Check out the free video here.

9) Do something fun for yourself

Don’t be defeated by the rejection.

Trust me, I know that rejection can be painful, that’s why it’s important to find some fun distractions.

This will not only make you feel good, but it will show her that she didn’t get the best of you.

Here are some ideas:

  • Go and spend a fun night out with your friends.
  • Find a fun new hobby. Try and find something new and daring like rock climbing or sailing. Get out of your comfort zone, trust me, it will make you feel like a new man.
  • Could it be time for that long-awaited vacation to Thailand?

Whatever it is, do something for yourself that will make you happy and give your mind and heart a break from the girl that rejected you.

In a nutshell:

Be active. Be happy.

Once she sees that you’re living your best life she’ll admire you for it and may even reconsider her feelings for you.

10) Be patient

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Finally, be patient.

If you follow my advice from above, there’s a great chance that she’ll change her mind about you.

Just remember, Rome wasn’t built in a day.

What do I mean by that?

She isn’t going to change her mind overnight, so you need to be patient.

She needs time to think about what happened. She needs to see that you’ve changed.

If you’re really serious about getting together with this girl and you still haven’t heard from her after a week, don’t give up.

Tips on how to deal with rejection

When it comes to love, rejection is a common occurrence.

It can feel like the end of the world when our hearts are broken, but there’s always a way to make it better.

Here are some tips on how to deal with rejection in love.

Don’t obsess over the girl who rejected you

This is something that people often do.

After we have been rejected by someone, we often become obsessed with that person and expect them to change their mind about dating us.

But what happens if they don’t change their mind?

Do you still expect them to change their mind?

I think the answer is no. If a girl can’t accept your love, then she probably isn’t worth your time in the first place.

Don’t get so upset over the rejection

The fact of the matter is that rejection happens to everyone.

It’s just something that you have to learn how to deal with.

If you are constantly upset over being rejected by someone, then you might as well give up on trying to find love in the first place.

Don’t blame yourself for being rejected by someone

It’s easy to blame ourselves for being rejected by someone.

But here’s the thing:

There are a million reasons that a girl might reject you that have nothing to do with who you are as a person or what you did.

  • She may already be in love with another guy or even a girl.
  • Maybe she’s not ready to date because she went through a horrible break-up.
  • Perhaps she wants to focus on her career and doesn’t want to get involved right now.
  • It’s also possible that she thinks the world of you but never thought about you romantically and when you asked her out she was surprised.

All you did was ask someone that you like out. There’s nothing wrong with that so stop beating yourself up.

Don’t dwell on rejection or obsess over it

Dwelling on rejection is one of the worst things that you can do to yourself.

Although it’s normal to feel bad about it for a day or two, dwelling on rejection and making it the center of your life is a very unhealthy attitude.


You should be able to move on from rejection and focus your energy on other things in life.

Focus on your friends and family; on work, on your hobbies; on finding someone else that you like to ask out.

Don’t be afraid to go out and ask someone out

The problem with a lot of guys is that once they get rejected, they are too scared to risk asking someone out again.

But the fact is:

Rejection happens to everyone at some point.

Just because you were rejected before doesn’t mean that you will be rejected again.

It’s all a question of asking the right girl at the right time.

In essence:

Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Talk to a friend about it

If you’re having a really hard time dealing with rejection, then maybe you should talk to a friend about it.


Talking to a friend about it can help you to see things from a different perspective and will give you the strength to move on.

They’ll be able to listen without judging you and tell you how they felt about being rejected in the past.

Learn from the experience

The best thing about rejection is that it can make you stronger!

There are two ways you can look at rejection:

  • First, you can feel sorry for yourself that you got rejected and hide from the world for a while.
  • Or, second (and I recommend you do this), you can try and figure out why you were rejected – was it because of the way you approached the girl? Was it because you approached the wrong girl?

Figuring out where you went wrong will help you be successful the next time you ask someone out.

While painful and sometimes embarrassing, rejection can teach you a lot about yourself and what you’re capable of.

In a nutshell:

Learn from the experience:

Maybe it’s time to take a different approach and try something new.

And remember, don’t stop pursuing love!

Acknowledge your feelings

The most important step to getting over rejection is to take the time to acknowledge your feelings.

Let me explain:

It’s important to acknowledge and accept that you feel sad, angry, and disappointed.

These feelings are perfectly normal and are not a sign of weakness.

You can go through a lot of different emotions and feelings when you’re going through rejection.

Sometimes, all it takes is time to process what happened, and eventually, they will fade away.

Rejection can be really painful at first but it will pass eventually, and it will be a lot easier and quicker if you deal with your feelings.

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Picture of Tina Fey

Tina Fey

I've ridden the rails, gone off track and lost my train of thought. I'm writing for Ideapod to try and find it again. Hope you enjoy the journey with me.

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