If you’re worried that people don’t like you, say goodbye to these 13 behaviors

Although I know not everyone I meet will like me, I still put in the effort to be likable, and I care what others think of me, too. 

Now, I’m not losing any sleep over it, but if I have to choose between being likable or not, I prefer the former. 

From my own experience, if you’re worried people don’t like you, you simply need to kiss goodbye the following behaviors:

1) Chronic complaining

Constantly whining about everything is a major turn-off. People prefer positive vibes, and if you continuously focus on the bad stuff, they’ll not just not like you but actively dodge you.

This also goes for criticizing others, as well as judging or analyzing them. In other words, people don’t like others being up in their business.  

Chronic complainers can make their loved ones’ lives a living hell by keeping them under a magnifying glass and analyzing their every step just so they can disparage them for doing something “wrong.”

2) Over-explaining or mansplaining

The same goes for over-explaining or mansplaining. Always providing lengthy justifications makes others feel like you lack confidence in their decisions. 

You need to trust that people’s choices are reasonable without the need for extensive explanations. It’s almost in the same category as criticizing because you obviously don’t trust they’ll do something “right.”

In other words, you’re a know-it-all, and no one knows how to do basic things but you. Yeah, right.  

Men love doing this so much that it even has its own term – mansplaining. I should know I’m a man, and I often do it for some inexplicable reason. 

Does that make me less likable? Probably. At least at the time of doing it. You can just feel the eyes rolling. 

3) Being too competitive

While healthy competition can be motivating, being excessively competitive in every situation can create a tense atmosphere. 

If your main fixation is to outdo others, then yeah, they won’t like you. No one wants to be around people who think they’re the main character. 

Just imagine you’re playing a friendly game of basketball with friends, and someone is so fixated on winning that they forget it’s just a casual match. 

They argue every call, get too aggressive, and turn a fun activity into a stressful competition.

But even family events become battlegrounds when someone is too competitive. From board games to holiday traditions, they turn every gathering into a high-stakes competition, leaving others feeling exhausted and stressed rather than enjoying the time together.

So, if you want to be liked by others, embrace cooperation and collaboration instead of always trying to outshine them. 

4) Dismissing other people’s feelings

Brushing off others’ emotions can make you seem insensitive and detached. It often happens when we think that everyone else has the same outlook on life and things as we do. 

What for us is negligible, for others, it might be earthshattering in some cases, especially if we’re not experiencing it on our own skin.

Acknowledge and validate peoples’ feelings, even if you don’t fully understand them. This promotes empathy and strengthens emotional connections, making your interactions more meaningful and supportive.

5) Ignoring boundaries

When you’re too intrusive or dismissive of others’ limits, you create discomfort and make your relationships tiring and stressful. 

For example, you’re reading your partner’s emails, text messages, or DMs without their permission. 

Or you’re relentlessly asking deeply personal questions, prying into areas that others aren’t comfortable discussing.

Or what about consistently invading personal space, standing too close, or touching others without their consent? 

This lack of regard for boundaries makes people feel uncomfortable and intruded upon. And they’ll certainly dislike you. 

6) Indecisiveness

Being wishy-washy can be extremely frustrating for those around you. If you don’t make decisions confidently or cancel your appointments, meetings, dates, etc., you’ll quickly land on their blacklist.  

I had a friend who was not only always late to our meetings, but they also couldn’t decide on their drinks or meals and would peruse the menu for an ungodly amount of time, frustrating both me and the waiters. 

But not only that. Finding a place to go with them in the first place was excruciating. We just couldn’t come to an agreement on where to go out. 

7) Skipping self-care

lack of self confidence If you're worried that people don't like you, say goodbye to these 13 behaviors

Let’s get one thing out there. There’s a concerning amount of people who smell awful. If you can’t put aside ten minutes of your day to shower and brush your teeth, what are you doing with your life?

How can people like you when they can’t even stand beside you for a couple of minutes without holding their breath?

But then there’s also neglecting your well-being, which affects your mood and energy levels. 

If you’re not taking care of yourself, you show others that you don’t value and prioritize your health, making you less likable.

No one likes a slob. 

8) Gossiping

Gossiping can be fun, right? You bond with others by talking about someone who’s not in the room.

And then, when you leave the room or the office, they start talking about you. You know that, right?

But engaging in gossip can also erode trust and tarnish your reputation. People generally appreciate those who focus on positive conversations and avoid talking behind other people’s backs. 

If you want to be likable, try redirecting conversations towards shared interests or uplifting topics to encourage trust and respect.

9) Being too self-critical

When you’re too self-deprecating, you can be endearing to others. But only up to a point.

If you’re continually putting yourself down, you make others uncomfortable or unsure of how to react. 

Even though I love getting a few laughs out of people by making myself look clumsy or awkward, I don’t want to be solely remembered for that.

By treating yourself kindly, you set a positive tone for interactions, making it easier for others to see your value.

This also makes them like you more. 

10) Constantly interrupting 

Repeatedly cutting people off mid-sentence is rude and inconsiderate. They don’t get to share their story in a satisfying way because of you. 

And if you couple that with being too competitive and interrupting because you want to one-up them, well, that’s even worse. 

Practice active listening, allowing others to express themselves fully before responding. That way, you’ll show genuine interest and respect for their perspectives.

Plus, each interaction will be smoother and more positive.

11) Being inflexible

When you’re too rigid, you’re not fun to be around. People like that can’t relax even when they’re out with their friends or family. 

For many years, I was the same. I just didn’t interact well with others. But until you consciously flip a switch in your head and decide to be more relaxed, there’s no moving forward. 

Rigidity also impedes smooth interactions, especially in a group where compromise is necessary. 

Being open to different opinions and adaptable to changing situations proves flexibility and makes you more enjoyable to be around. 

12) Validating through material possessions or social media

We see it all the time in some people – they just can’t stop flaunting their wealth and material possessions. This makes others feel deficient and creates an impression of superficiality. 

Genuine connections are built on shared values and interests instead of external displays of assets.

Seeking approval through likes and comments also isn’t a healthy way to measure your self-worth. 

Only when you focus on genuine connections in real life do you start to feel more fulfilled.

13) Exaggerating stories

And lastly, when you’re regularly stretching the truth, people start distrusting you. People appreciate honesty and authenticity. 

Here’s an example. Your friend returns from a vacation and describes their experiences as if they were living in a movie. 

Every encounter was a life-altering moment, and the travel anecdotes seemed too fantastical to be true, leaving you and other friends skeptical.

Final thoughts

Ultimately, it’s good to be liked by others. But if that means you have to change your whole persona and start pleasing people, then that’s not right.

Finding a way to be yourself and still be respected and liked by others is something to strive for.  

Picture of Adrian Volenik

Adrian Volenik

Adrian has years of experience in the field of personal development and building wealth. Both physical and spiritual. He has a deep understanding of the human mind and a passion for helping people enhance their lives. Adrian loves to share practical tips and insights that can help readers achieve their personal and professional goals. He has lived in several European countries and has now settled in Portugal with his family. When he’s not writing, he enjoys going to the beach, hiking, drinking sangria, and spending time with his wife and son.

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