No one wants to waste their time on a relationship that isn’t going anywhere.
But it isn’t always easy to determine if a future is in sight.
Luckily, though, according to psychologists and researchers, several signs show if a relationship will last.
So guess what?
You don’t have to sit around waiting for them to tell you those highly anticipated three words!
Instead, I’ve spent hours exploring this information and reflecting on my relationship experiences to bring you this list of the 10 most clear-cut signs that a person sees a future with you.
1) Introducing you to their friends and family
A person who doesn’t see you in their future will keep you “hidden” from their friends and family.
If they don’t plan to stick around, they see no reason to make the time and effort to arrange meetings between you and their friends and family.
Moreover, they will be uninterested in meeting your loved ones.
So, if you’ve already met your partner’s parents, close friends, and even extended family, you can take a sigh of relief, as this is typically a VERY good sign.
2) Making travel plans with you
One common early sign that your partner sees a future with you is if they start making plans with you beyond the next couple of weeks.
This could be:
- Planning a holiday or mini-break
- Making holiday plans
- Attending a family event
If you’ve started planning things like this, it is a massive sign that your relationship is much more than a fling.
3) Openly discussing future relationship milestones
Beyond making travel plans together, at some point, you will take things to the next level, whatever that means to you – moving in together, having kids, getting married, etc.
While this is something you likely won’t talk about on a first date, if your partner is serious about you, they will be willing to discuss these things after several months.
If you’ve yet to talk about your future in this way, try it out and see how they react.
If they become awkward, change the subject, or seem embarrassed, this may suggest they don’t see a future with you.
But if they seem relieved you brought the subject up and happily share their thoughts, they are likely already thinking about settling down with you!
4) Being consistent with you
People who are unsure if they want a future with someone will often blow hot and cold.
You know how it goes…
One minute, they are texting you all day and coming around every evening, then suddenly, they cancel plans and disappear for weeks.
This is the behavior of a person who doesn’t know what they want. Perhaps they have commitment issues, want to keep their options up, or are simply happy as they are.
However, if someone sees you in their future, they will be consistent.
- Keep their word
- Prioritize time with you
- Regularly call and text to check in with you
Their consistency will extend to both the highs and lows of life, too, so you can also count on them for the following…
5) Providing emotional support
If someone sees a future with you, they will genuinely care about your happiness and well-being.
That’s why they will be right there, offering a shoulder to cry on when something upsetting or traumatic happens in your life.
A person who sees you just as a fling will have no interest in spending time with you when you’re upset, stressed, or anxious. So when the going gets tough, they will be gone.
However, if your partner sticks around and helps you out, this will strengthen your bond and increase the likelihood of the relationship lasting long-term.
This is because they possess high responsiveness – a perception that they understand, value, and support you.
A 2011 research paper published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that people who perceive their partners as highly responsive feel valued, listened to, and understood. This makes both partners feel closer, more satisfied, and more committed to each other.
6) Opening up to you
Along with being there for you, a partner who wants a future together may share their troubles with you.
According to psychotherapist Laura Sgro, vulnerability is essential for relationship success as it allows you to better understand your partner’s insecurities and deepest feelings.
So, if your partner opens up to you, it shows they aren’t afraid to be vulnerable as they have deep trust and respect for you.
However, I also want to point out that many people find opening up with their partner incredibly difficult.
So, if your partner doesn’t open up with you, it may not be because they don’t trust or respect you enough.
Instead, it could be that they struggle to be vulnerable with another person.
Now, if you find it easy to open up to others, you may have unconsciously set the unrealistic expectation that your partner should do the same.
If they don’t, you might automatically assume they don’t love you, which could lead to conflict in the relationship.
I learned this in Rudá Iandê’s free video on Love and Intimacy.
Rudá Iandê is a world-renowned shaman who has helped thousands of people uncover unrealistic expectations they have in their relationships.
So, if you habitually make assumptions and struggle to see things from your partner’s perspective, I highly recommend checking out this masterclass.
7) Being willing to compromise
Another way you can determine how serious your partner is about you is their willingness to compromise.
Compromise is crucial in any relationship, as it helps to resolve conflicts. So, if one person doesn’t compromise, the relationship will not go much further.
In fact, a 2018 study found that cooperating to find a solution is the most effective way to overcome relationship conflict. In comparison, affection and validation can be harmful methods of conflict management.
Moreover, a high willingness to negotiate shows that your partner values and respects you. It also affirms that they want to contribute to the relationship rather than just taking from it.
On the other hand, a low willingness to compromise shows that a partner wants to take without giving and lacks respect for you. Needless to say, this type of person doesn’t see a future with you.
8) Using the term “we”
Willingness to compromise relates to self-concept.
A 2014 study published in the Journal of Happiness Studies examined the relationship between compromise and self-expansion.
According to researchers Wei-Fang Lin and Yi-Cheng Lin, the self-expansion theory indicates when people are motivated to include their partners in their self-concept. By expanding their self-concept, they view themselves and their partner as a unit rather than two separate entities.
From analyzing the questionnaires of 261 participants, the researchers found one common behavior among couples displaying high self-expansion…
Using “we” instead of “I.”
So, according to this research, if your partner uses “we” when talking about you both, they see you and them as a committed team.
9) Wanting to see you do well
When your partner sees you both as a team, they will want to see you win as much as they want to see themselves win.
Even if you have different goals and dreams, your partner will support you in your endeavors in various ways:
- They will shower you with encouragement to help you believe in yourself.
- They will motivate you to take action.
- They will be willing to help you in any way you need to reach your goals.
When you do well, they will experience your joy with you. Not just because they love you but because when one person in a team wins, the whole team wins
If you want to know if your partner sees a future with you, look at how they respond when you share your dreams and, most importantly, achievements with them.
If they give off any envy, competitiveness, or even disinterest, they don’t see you both as a team who can take on the world together.
10) Seeking your opinion on things
Along with wanting to help you become your best version, a partner who sees you in their future will want you to be involved in all aspects of THEIR life.
To do this, they will regularly ask for your input, advice, and opinions. This could be about their career, personal interests, family, etc.
The key thing to notice here is that they seek your opinion on something other than your relationship.
Because they see you in ALL areas of their life and, consequently, all aspects of their future.
If your partner is willing to do several of the things above, there’s a good chance you both have a long, happy future ahead of you.
The success of your relationship is not just down to your partner.
Sometimes, we must uncover and heal our own relationship blocks before we can enjoy a loving, long-term partnership.
So, along with trying to understand where your partner is emotionally at, I recommend deepening your understanding of yourself. Rudá Iandê’s free Love and Intimacy video is a great resource to start with!