Attraction isn’t always about long nights of passion.
Especially in a committed relationship, we tend to show our desire and devotion in our everyday actions.
But that also means some of your partner’s attraction towards you may be going unnoticed.
Here are ways to spot it in your humble daily routine together.
1) They stare deeply into your eyes
Prolonged eye contact is a surefire sign of attraction.
The research proves the power of gazing into someone’s eyes.
It releases the so-called cuddle hormone oxytocin, and that helps you to solidify your bond.
So, when your partner looks into your eyes, they’re not only showing desire, they’re also communicating on a deeper level.
It’s subtly saying that they still want you, that they want to create a connection, and they want to be seen by you too.
Looking into someone’s eyes helps strengthen your attachment to one another, and chances are you’re both doing it daily without even realizing it.
2) They cuddle up with you on the couch
Attraction is way more complex than we often give it credit for.
Ripping your clothes off may show physical lust, but true attraction encompasses much more.
It involves a tenderness too as well as a strong interest in someone as a person.
That’s why expressing physical affection is also a powerful way to show attraction.
That can include all those forms of touch, that don’t have to be sexual.
If your partner gives you a big comforting hug or wants to snuggle up together, they want to be close to you — both physically and metaphorically!
3) They hold your hand in public
I get that not everyone is into public displays of affection. It’s true that some people are more tactile than others.
But when you see an elderly couple walking down the street still holding hands, there’s a reason it pulls on your heartstrings.
Because it shows that even after all this time, they still choose each other. They still have that attraction.
When your partner holds you tight, gives you a kiss, or puts their arm around you when you’re out and about, they’re also telling the world you’re an item.
That means it’s a fact they are clearly proud of.
4) They give you spontaneous little compliments
It may be about your appearance, but not necessarily. It could be about anything you say or do too.
Either way, neuroscientists have shown that offering positive praise lights up the same areas of the brain as receiving monetary rewards.
So, compliments are just as good as cash.
What’s more, both receivers and compliment givers get the same kick out of it.
Compliments have an important role in the psychology of human relationships. We use them because we’re attracted to people who give us a good feeling about ourselves.
That’s what your partner is trying to do.
5) They have receptive body language
Maybe your other half isn’t particularly proactive about initiating physical contact or affection.
We’ve already explained that it’s not in everyone’s nature. But chances are, they are still open in their body language to you.
They subliminally give you the green light to hug, kiss, or come close to them. They lean into you whenever you approach them.
Rather than give you the cold shoulder and turn away, they open their arms to you when you come in for a cuddle.
6) They include you on their social media
Maybe they mention you in their status updates, tag you, or post pictures of the two of you.
But it can be more subtle than that too.
My partner and I aren’t really big social media people, but we do frequently send one another funny memes or interesting stories.
You and your partner most likely do this daily without giving it any thought.
But really, it shows that you are the first person they think about when they come across something that is worth sharing.
7) They show it with emojis
There is so much that we don’t say with words.
According to life coach Gemma Perlin:
“As human beings we communicate in many ways. The words that we speak actually only account for 7% of our overall communication. The way that words are delivered accounts for the other 93% of the communication.”
That’s why far from simple decoration, emojis have become important ways of communicating the tone and sentiment of our messages to one another.
That heart or blushing smile at the end of the text may not feel like a big deal, but it’s still a signal of affection and attraction.
8) They greet you with a kiss every morning or kiss you goodnight
Kissing isn’t just a way of connecting physically, it’s a way of emotionally connecting too.
Science doesn’t even fully understand why we do it. Only two other species (chimpanzees and bonobos) kiss. But we’re the only ones who use it in a sexual context.
There are so many different ways we kiss our partners, from the passionate to the pecks. But all are significant in showing attraction.
Health writer Michael Castleman M.A. says that smooching has a powerful effect on the brain.
“Kissing increases blood levels of the hormone oxytocin, which encourages interpersonal attachment. It also boosts levels of three compounds in the brain: endorphins, serotonin, and dopamine. Endorphins and serotonin elevate mood. And as dopamine level rises, so do feelings of pleasure. Consequently, kissing helps people feel closer, get in the mood for lovemaking, and enjoy it.”
9) They rub your feet after a hard day
Have you heard of the five love languages?
They are the most common ways that people like to express and receive love. It’s a useful reminder that we’re all different.
The same can be said for showing attraction too. There may be common ways of doing it, but that can change with someone’s own preferences and personality.
When it comes to love languages, offering your partner a massage to soothe their tense muscles would be considered an act of service.
Meaning it’s a thoughtful gesture to show you care.
So whilst rubbing someone’s feet may not seem the sexiest of things to do, that’s exactly why it’s a testament to their attraction to you.
10) They make you your morning coffee
This is yet another act of service that’s all about showing kindness.
It requires considering your partner’s needs and wanting to be responsive to those. And that equates to attraction.
There’s nothing in it for them, other than making you happy.
These small gestures can speak volumes about how much your partner cares for you.
Whether it’s helping out with household chores without being asked, returning home with your favorite food, or bringing you that first cup of morning Joe.
11) They look forward to quality time together
I secretly love it when my friends need to cancel plans last minute.
Not just because I’m an introvert, but because it means I get to stay home with my favorites — aka my man (and our dog).
When we are deeply attracted to someone, on many levels, we love spending time with them.
Don’t get me wrong, enough independence and space are also important in a healthy relationship. But quality time together is essential for maintaining a strong connection.
If your partner plans fun activities for the two of you, makes an effort to prioritize date nights, and generally puts away distractions when spending time with you, it’s because they want you.
12) They text you from work
You may have become accustomed to that daily exchange of messages on your lunch breaks.
But it’s more special than we give it credit for.
This shows that your partner is still attentive towards you.
We all know when we start dating someone new that their text habits tell us a lot.
Those that leave you on read are rarely keepers! Meanwhile, the ones who blow up our inbox are showing us how keen they are.
The same still applies when you are a couple.
Sending the odd text during the day when you are apart is a sign of the connection. It’s a testament to your status in their life and shows you’re on their mind.
13) They want to know how your day was
As we’ve clearly seen up until now, attraction often translates to attention.
Taking an interest in your other half’s day is yet another way we show this.
Sometimes we can be guilty in a relationship of turning this question into a throwaway comment.
But this daily check-in can be a helpful tool when we take the time to ask about each other’s day in detail.
Not only does it give you dedicated time to really check in with one another, it signals to your partner that you care enough to ask, and then listen.
Sharing your thoughts and feelings with one another ultimately keeps the connection alive.
