Shela Riva
A relationship can offer you many things: a growth journey, a supportive foundation, and safe space you can always return to.
In worse cases, a relationship is a lesson or a series of lessons that you can grow from.
The important thing is to learn from them together, whether by leaving the relationship or changing your behaviors, rather than remaining stuck in a situation that isn’t helping you as a person.
If you find yourself in a relationship that might not be worth staying in, it can either make you detached or be highly emotionally distressed.
If your partner consistently exhibits these 6 behaviors, it may be a sign that your relationship isn’t worth the emotional toll it’s taking on you.
1) They cause you pain
You know that saying, “no pain, no gain”?
Well, I don’t believe that mindset applies to relationships.
Yes, you’ll have conflicts that can hurt in a relationship. But the key is transforming that pain into a lesson, and actively changing behaviors to treat your partner in a way that isn’t hurtful.
So become aware of any ongoing pain at all that comes from your partner’s behavior, that they are aware of causing you, yet still do it.
A worthwhile relationship should feel good to be in. If it hurts to be with this person and nothing changes despite efforts to discuss this with them, you’re better off alone.
If your partner knows their actions hurt you but continue to do so, or don’t acknowledge their actions, they are not prioritizing your happiness – and this is incredibly important for any partner to prioritize, or at least want you to be happy.
Making you feel pain can encompass a number of behaviors, including physical or emotional abuse, infidelity, betraying your trust, trying to control you, flirting with other people, not resolving conflicts, or hurting your self-esteem.
There are many other ways they could hurt you, which we will cover in the next signs – but I just wanted to make this one very clear.
Don’t accept being hurt by your partner constantly – no matter how, what, or why.
2) They put you down or criticize you
Even when it’s meant as a joke.
If you notice your partner constantly putting you down, it might be time to talk to them about it, or take a step back from this relationship.
Some couples connect on playful banter and teasing. This is very different from ongoing one-sided insults that the other person clearly doesn’t enjoy or find funny.
In fact, the tendency to criticize one’s partner often comes from either an insecurity or a superiority complex within oneself. Both are rooted in lack, and can be expressed through comparison with their partner.
A partner should be a close friend, confidant, and equal who encourages – not someone who compares themselves to you, competes with you, or wants to make you look bad.
Extra red flags if they do it in front of other people!
3) Showing dishonesty or hiding information
Trust is to a relationship what physics is to an airplane: it’s the whole reason it can even go anywhere.
If your partner lies, deceives you, or hides important information from you (and I’m not talking about a cute birthday surprise) it erodes the trust between you, which will be the beginning of the end.
Honesty, transparency, and open communication should be the norm in a loving and worthwhile partnership between two people who want to be together in the long-term.
4) They don’t respect your feelings
It’s essential that both partners should feel respected in a relationship.
If your partner consistently belittles, demeans, or dismisses your feelings, opinions, or boundaries, it’s a clear indication that they do not respect you.
In a loving relationship, both partners should feel valued and appreciated for who they are.
Similarly, if they disregard your boundaries, they don’t respect your feelings. Boundaries are essential for maintaining individuality and personal space within a relationship.
If your partner consistently ignores or disrespects your boundaries, it can lead to feelings of invasion or suffocation. In a healthy relationship, both partners should honor each other’s limits, consent, and right to space.
5) They’re not supporting you (or your growth)
A partner not supporting you can be done consciously or unconsciously.
On one hand, your partner could be apathetic to your growth, your path, and not offer any support toward it because they don’t care enough. This signifies a lack of empathy towards you – and that’s not a good sign.
This can be as simple as neglecting their duties, your shared house chores, child rearing responsibilities, and so on.
On the other hand, they could be not offering support deliberately for a number of reasons: jealousy, not wanting you to succeed, or an insecurity that you will outgrow them.
Both cases are pretty sure signs that your relationship is not heading in the right direction.
A supportive, healthy relationship is one where both partners chip in where they can to make things easier for the other person to do what they need to do on their path. Both individuals should cheer each other on and provide emotional support during life’s challenges.
If your partner is unsupportive of your dreams, goals, or passions, it can create a sense of isolation and frustration, and in some cases even hinder you from growing.
6) Manipulative or controlling behavior
A desire to control you as a person should never be part of the equation in a relationship worth keeping.
Controlling behavior can manifest in various forms, from isolating you from friends and family to making decisions on your behalf without your input.
Sometimes, this can look like manipulation, which is also another way of trying to control you, your perspectives, your feelings, and your life.
Manipulative behavior comes in the forms of guilt-tripping, gaslighting, love-bombing, silent treatments, and emotional blackmail. All serve to simply get a certain type of emotional response from you – a damaging form of emotional control and even abuse.
If your partner uses these tactics to control your actions or feelings, it’s a clear sign of an unhealthy dynamic. A loving partner should communicate openly and honestly rather than resorting to manipulation.
Keep in mind that healthy relationships are built on trust and mutual decision-making… never control, dominance or abuse.
Conclusion
In the many complexities of human relationships, it’s crucial to recognize when certain behaviors are breaking the very foundation of love, trust, and mutual respect that should be the foundation to a healthy partnership.
While all relationships face challenges, these 6 behaviors are key behaviors that should never be tolerated as they undermine your well-being and happiness.
If your partner consistently exhibits these 6 behaviors listed, it’s probably time to evaluate the health of your relationship.
A loving and worthwhile partnership should uplift and nurture you, creating an environment of trust, support, and open communication. When these components are missing, it can lead to emotional distress, diminished self-esteem, and unhappiness.
Choosing to address these issues with your partner through honest and respectful communication is the first step toward a potential resolution. However, it’s also important to recognize when a relationship may not be worth the emotional toll it’s taking on you.
In such cases, prioritizing your own well-being and considering the possibility of moving forward without them may ultimately lead to a healthier and happier life.
Your happiness and emotional well-being deserve to be cherished and protected. A partner worth having will always want to protect that with you.
