There’s a vast difference between being loved and being taken for granted.
Understanding this difference is all about recognizing certain behaviors. When your partner takes you for granted, they may not even realize they’re doing it. But their actions speak volumes.
Being taken for granted can feel like you’re invisible, unappreciated, and undervalued. However, being aware of these behaviors can help you address the issue and seek the respect you deserve in a relationship.
Here are 9 behaviors to watch out for in your partner – these could be signs that they’re taking you for granted.
1) They rarely initiate contact
In any thriving relationship, there’s a balanced give-and-take dynamic.
One clear sign that your partner may be taking you for granted is if they rarely initiate contact. This could be anything from text messages to phone calls to making plans.
When you’re the one always making the first move, it may feel like you’re doing all the work in the relationship. And that’s not fair, nor is it sustainable.
Your partner should be just as eager to reach out and connect with you as you are with them. If they’re not, it’s worth having a conversation about it.
Remember, it’s about balance. Both parties need to put in effort to keep the relationship healthy and strong.
2) They forget important dates
I’ll never forget the time my partner completely overlooked our anniversary. I had been dropping hints and even mentioned it outright a few times, but when the day came and went without a word, it felt like a punch in the gut.
If your partner consistently forgets important dates like anniversaries or birthdays, it could be a sign that they’re taking you for granted.
These are special moments that deserve to be celebrated, and forgetting them can feel like a disregard for your feelings and the relationship.
Of course, everyone can forget a date here and there. But if it becomes a pattern, it’s definitely something to address.
3) They don’t value your time
Time is one of our most precious resources. Once it’s gone, there’s no getting it back.
If your partner consistently makes you wait, cancels plans at the last minute or doesn’t respect the time you set aside for them, they may be taking you for granted.
Interestingly, a study found that people who value their partner’s time tend to have stronger, more fulfilling relationships.
By not valuing your time, it shows a lack of respect and consideration for you and your life outside of the relationship.
4) They don’t appreciate your efforts
Appreciation is the glue that holds a relationship together. It’s the acknowledgment that you see and value the other person’s efforts.
If your partner rarely says “thank you” or fails to acknowledge the things you do for them, they may be taking you for granted.
Whether it’s making dinner, doing chores, or planning a date night, these acts of service should be recognized and appreciated.
Not being acknowledged can feel hurtful and can cause you to feel unappreciated. So if your partner regularly overlooks your efforts, it might be time for a heart-to-heart chat.
5) They don’t include you in future plans
When you’re in a serious relationship, it’s natural to include your partner in your future plans. It signifies that you see them as an integral part of your life going forward.
However, if your partner is making long-term plans – such as vacations, major purchases, or even career moves – without considering or consulting you, it can feel like they’re taking you for granted.
It’s a clear indication that they’re not viewing the relationship as a partnership, but rather as two separate entities. If this behavior is consistent, it’s definitely something that needs addressing.
6) They don’t show interest in your day
There’s something truly heartwarming about a partner who genuinely wants to know how your day was. It’s a small act, but it demonstrates an interest in your life and experiences.
If your partner rarely asks about your day, or seems disinterested when you share details, it can feel like they’re taking you for granted.
It might not seem like a big deal, but showing an interest in each other’s lives is a simple way to express love and care. When this is missing, it can leave you feeling disconnected and undervalued.
7) They often criticize you
One of the most hurtful experiences I’ve had in a relationship was when my partner would frequently criticize me. Whether it was about my appearance, my choices, or my interests, it felt like nothing I did was ever good enough.
If your partner is constantly criticizing you, it’s not just hurtful, it’s damaging. Constructive criticism is one thing, but when it becomes a constant stream of negativity, it can make you feel unappreciated and undervalued.
Partners should build each other up, not tear each other down. If you’re experiencing this behavior from your partner, it’s a clear sign they’re taking you for granted.
8) They don’t support your dreams
In a healthy relationship, both partners should be each other’s biggest cheerleaders.
If your partner doesn’t support your dreams and ambitions, or worse, belittles them, it can feel like they’re taking you for granted.
Support can come in many forms – from lending an ear when you need to talk about your ideas, to actively helping you reach your goals. If this support is missing, it can leave you feeling unsupported and undervalued.
Your dreams matter. If your partner doesn’t recognize that, it might be time to have a serious conversation.
9) They don’t make an effort to resolve conflicts
If your partner avoids conflict or brushes off your concerns without addressing them, it’s a red flag.
Conflict resolution is crucial in any relationship. Brushing issues under the rug only leads to resentment and more conflict down the line.
Your feelings and concerns are valid. If your partner doesn’t make an effort to resolve conflicts, it’s a clear sign they’re taking you for granted. It shows a lack of respect for you and the relationship.
Final thoughts: It’s a matter of respect
At the core of every healthy relationship lies respect. It’s the foundation on which trust, love, and mutual understanding are built.
If your partner is displaying these behaviors, it’s crucial to remember that it’s not a reflection of your worth, but rather a reflection of their lack of respect and consideration.
According to relationship expert Dr. John Gottman, one of the most significant predictors of a relationship’s success is the presence of mutual respect and admiration.
Being aware of these behaviors is the first step towards addressing them. It’s about recognizing your value and seeking the respect you deserve in a relationship.
After all, every person deserves to be in a relationship where they feel valued and appreciated. Don’t settle for anything less.
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