If your partner displays these 7 behaviors, they have an anxious attachment style

Do you feel that you need to constantly reassure your partner about the relationship?

While it’s normal to be concerned about what happens during a relationship as we try our best to strengthen it, it’s another thing to be overly anxious about it. 

This may stem from a deeper issue, such as an insecurity or fear of rejection and abandonment, which can manifest in anxious attachment styles.

Today, we’ll explore 7 behaviors of people with anxious attachment styles, so read on to find out if your partner is one of them. 

1) Constantly needing assurance

Do you find yourself constantly needing to reassure your partner about the relationship? You have to remind them constantly that you love them and repeatedly assure them that the relationship is going well.

While it’s good to affirm your partner now and then, doing this excessively does show that they may be overly anxious about the relationship.

This stems from their fear of abandonment, and could be triggered by past trauma or a negative experience.

Therefore, they find some security in repeated assurance.

If your partner exhibits this behavior, it would be good to understand what trauma may have caused this and work together to address it.

Of course, you may sometimes require the help of a professional to navigate this emotional baggage.

If left unchecked, another behavior that these individuals exhibit is…

2) Overthinking 

Put them alone in a room with their thoughts and they’ll imagine the worst possible scenarios about the relationship.

Their mind will start going into overdrive and they will overthink every interaction, word, or behavior from you.

This also extends to their thoughts and actions as well.

Your partner may start to overthink every word they say or over consider every action, for fear of offending you. They may feel that if they were to make you angry, you’d leave them.

And this is where the deep-seated fear of rejection comes into play. 

If you find that your partner is constantly overanalyzing or overthinking, it would be good to help them process their thoughts and be mindful of the emotions they’re going through. 

This would help them better understand why they’re thinking this way and help strengthen their resolve as well to overcome this habit.

3) Difficulty accepting love

Another behavior of individuals with anxious attachment styles is their difficulty in accepting love.

They feel unworthy of anything good, let alone someone’s affections. As a result, they’re always prepared for their partners to leave, because some of them still aren’t able to believe that someone would want to be together with them.

They expect that everyone’s default choice is to dislike them, which makes them feel undervalued and unloved.

Does your partner do this? If so, you may want to try assuring your partner about your love for them by listing out the things that made you fall for them.

It could be a physical trait or something about their personality that drew you to them. Doing this can alleviate some of their insecurities and assure them that they’re worthy of love.

But you must remember that only they can allow themselves to accept love, no matter how hard you love them.

person has anxious attachment style If your partner displays these 7 behaviors, they have an anxious attachment style

4) Fear of being alone

This anxious attachment style often stems from the fear of being alone – among other reasons.

People like these dislike the idea of doing things alone and will find every way to interact with someone. They don’t like doing things on their own, even at the expense of losing their independence. 

Do you find yourself having to accompany your partner wherever they go? Even if it’s a short trip down to the grocery store, they need you there.

Their insecurity is reflected in their inability to be alone for too long and their desire for companionship.

5) Difficulty trusting

Sometimes people with anxious attachment styles have difficulty trusting their partner.

No matter how many times their partner tries to reassure them about something, they find it difficult to trust them.

When you tell your partner something, are they usually doubtful? For example, you may tell them that you’ve been looking forward to seeing them the entire day, but they respond with doubt. 

You may even need to constantly reassure them that they’re valued in the relationship, but they will always have some form of distrust at the back of their mind.

It’s as if they’re preparing themselves for the worst, in order to protect themselves.

This could lead to them…

6) Constantly worrying about the relationship

You may have had to convince and reassure your partner about the security of the relationship, sometimes for hours on end.

This is because they’re constantly worrying that they’re not doing enough, or that you’re unhappy with something – which could potentially lead to the breakdown of the relationship.

They fear that there’s something they may have missed out on, or that they aren’t able to make you happy enough to stay.

If this insecurity is prolonged, it could potentially stress both you and your partner out, leading to a deterioration of the relationship – which could also be a self-fulfilling prophecy if you think about it. 

7) Clingy behavior

Whenever you leave, does your partner want to tag along as well? When you’re in the same room as them, do they want you to stay close to them?

It’s as if the two of you are stuck at the hip. Your partner finds security in being physically close to you, as your presence reassures them.

This may arise when your partner is stressed, and having you around helps them alleviate these negative feelings.

But clingy behavior can lead to a loss of independence, and result in an unhealthy dynamic of being overly dependent on one’s partner for safety and security.

Therefore, if your partner exhibits this behavior, it’s good to pull back now and then, so that they will not be too dependent on you for their happiness. 

Concluding thoughts

Addressing a partner with an anxious attachment style can be tough. On one hand, you’d like for them to become more independent, but on the other, you don’t wish to hurt their feelings.

Ultimately, it’s important for them to feel loved, but it shouldn’t be at the expense of your needs and wants.

Hopefully, this article has helped you better understand your partner so that you can work together to create a secure and supportive emotional environment through empathy and open communication.

Mia Zhang

Mia Zhang

Mia Zhang blends Eastern and Western perspectives in her approach to self-improvement. Her writing explores the intersection of cultural identity and personal growth. Mia encourages readers to embrace their unique backgrounds as a source of strength and inspiration in their life journeys.

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