If you want to maintain a close bond with children as you get older, say goodbye to these 8 behaviors

Let’s face it, maintaining a tight bond with kids as they grow older can be tricky.

The secret? It’s all about your behavior. There are certain things that you might be doing, unintentionally of course, that could be pushing them away.

You see, to keep that deep connection alive, you have to let go of some habits. It’s not about pretending to be somebody you’re not, but simply adjusting your behavior in a way that helps them feel comfortable and understood.

So, here we are, about to delve into those 8 behaviors you need to say goodbye to if you want to keep that close bond with your children as they grow up.

1) Being overly authoritative

Remember when you were a kid and your parent or guardian used the “because I said so” line? How did it make you feel? Probably not so great.

As we age, it’s easy to fall into the trap of becoming overly authoritative with children. You might think it’s the best way to guide them but hold on a minute.

It’s important to remember that kids are going through their own journey of learning and discovery. And being overly authoritative can make them feel unheard and disrespected.

Children, like anyone else, want to be treated with respect and understanding. They want their feelings and opinions to be acknowledged, even if they don’t always align with yours.

Instead of falling back on authority, try to engage them in discussions, ask for their opinions, and show them that their thoughts matter. This is a more effective way to guide them, and it will strengthen your bond as they grow older.

But remember, it’s all about balance! You’re still the adult with more life experience. It’s not about letting them do whatever they want but about creating an open and respectful dialogue.

So, wave goodbye to being overly authoritative if you want to maintain that close bond.

2) Not taking their interests seriously

I’ll never forget the day my niece, Lucy, developed a deep fascination for bugs. Yes, bugs. Not the most appealing interest for an adult, I must admit. But to Lucy, those creepy-crawlies were the most fascinating things in the world.

Now, I could have brushed it off as a silly phase. After all, what’s so interesting about bugs? But instead, I chose to lean into her interest.

We spent hours together in the garden, observing ants in their colonies and watching butterflies flutter around. I listened to her excited chatter about different insects and even learned a few things myself.

By taking her interest seriously, I was able to connect with her on a deeper level. We shared experiences and made memories that still bring a smile to my face when I think about them.

So here’s the lesson: If you want to maintain a close bond with children as they grow older, take their interests seriously. They might be into things that seem trivial or even silly to you. But remember, it’s not about you. It’s about them.

By showing genuine interest in their passions, you’re showing them that you value what they care about. And that’s a powerful way to strengthen your bond.

3) Neglecting to express affection

Did you know that expressing affection plays a crucial role in the emotional development of children? It’s true. When children receive physical affection, like hugs, or verbal expressions of love, it helps build their self-esteem and emotional security.

As children grow older, it’s easy to assume they’ve outgrown the need for regular hugs or words of affirmation. But in reality, they still need these expressions of affection just as much as when they were younger.

By consistently showing your affection, you’re reinforcing your bond and providing them with emotional security. This doesn’t mean you have to shower them with hugs and kisses every minute of the day. But a simple “I love you” or a pat on the back can go a long way in maintaining that close bond as they grow older.

So, don’t shy away from expressing your affection. It’s a simple yet powerful way to keep that connection strong.

4) Avoiding difficult conversations

It’s natural to want to shield children from the harsh realities of life. But avoiding difficult conversations isn’t the solution. In fact, it can create a distance between you and them.

As children grow older, they begin to grapple with complex emotions and situations. And they look to you for guidance.

By engaging in tough conversations, you’re showing them that you trust their ability to understand and handle difficult situations. This not only helps them grow emotionally but also strengthens your bond.

From discussions about failure to chats about the changes that come with puberty, don’t shy away from these conversations. It might be awkward at first, but it’s an opportunity for learning, growth and connection.

So, say goodbye to avoiding difficult conversations. It’s time to embrace them and maintain that close bond with your children as they get older.

5) Failing to admit when you’re wrong

Nobody’s perfect, not even us adults. We all make mistakes. But it’s how we handle these mistakes that can significantly affect our relationships, especially with children.

Admitting when you’re wrong can be difficult. It can bruise our ego and make us feel vulnerable. But it’s this vulnerability that makes us human and relatable.

When you make a mistake in your interaction with a child, admitting it openly is a powerful act. It tells them that it’s okay to make mistakes and that it’s important to take responsibility for them.

This honesty fosters trust and respect. It shows them that you’re not just an authority figure but also a human being who makes mistakes and learns from them.

So, if you want to maintain a close bond with children as they get older, don’t be afraid to admit when you’re wrong. It might be uncomfortable, but it’s a beautiful way to strengthen your relationship and teach them a valuable lesson about responsibility and growth.

6) Overlooking the importance of quality time

In this day and age, we’re all guilty of getting caught up in our schedules. Between work, chores, and personal commitments, finding time to just sit and interact with our kids can be a constant battle.

I remember a period when I was so caught up in my work that days would pass without me having a meaningful conversation with my kids. It’s not something I’m proud of, but it was a wake-up call.

Quality time is not just about being physically present, it’s about being emotionally available. It’s about actively engaging with them, listening to their stories, playing their games, sharing laughter and tears.

This kind of interaction is irreplaceable and essential for maintaining a close bond. Despite how busy life gets, making time for these moments can make all the difference.

So, let’s ditch overlooking the importance of quality time. No matter how busy life gets, let’s make room for those precious moments that strengthen our bonds with our children as they grow older.

7) Ignoring their feelings

Children, just like adults, have a wide range of emotions. And just as we want our feelings acknowledged and validated, so do they.

Ignoring a child’s feelings or dismissing them as unimportant can be quite damaging. It can make them feel insignificant and misunderstood, which can create a rift in your relationship.

It’s essential to validate their feelings, even if you don’t fully understand or agree with them. By doing so, you show them that their emotions are important and that it’s okay to express them.

This not only helps them develop emotional intelligence but also strengthens your bond with them.

So, if you want to maintain a close bond with children as they grow older, start by acknowledging and validating their feelings. It’s a small step that can make a big difference.

8) Forgetting to listen

In the hustle and bustle of life, we often forget one of the most fundamental aspects of communication – listening.

Listening is not just about hearing the words that are being spoken. It’s about understanding the emotions behind those words, the unspoken messages, and the subtle cues.

When children feel truly listened to, they feel valued, understood, and loved. This deepens your bond with them and creates a safe space where they feel comfortable sharing their thoughts and feelings.

So, if there’s one thing you should remember from this article, it’s this – never forget to listen. It’s the most powerful tool you have to maintain a close bond with children as they grow older.

Final thoughts: It’s all about connection

At the heart of every relationship, especially those with children, lies the undeniable power of connection.

Research has consistently highlighted the importance of maintaining a strong emotional bond with children. This bond, often referred to as ‘secure attachment’, has been linked to numerous positive outcomes in a child’s life including higher self-esteem, better performance in school, and healthier relationships in adulthood.

These 8 behaviors we’ve discussed are not just arbitrary. They are fundamental aspects that can either strengthen or weaken this bond. They are signposts guiding us on how to navigate the intricate path of forming and maintaining secure attachment with our children as they grow older.

Remember, it’s not about being perfect, but about being present, understanding, and genuine. It’s about letting go of certain behaviors that create distance and embracing those that bring you closer.

As we conclude, reflect on these behaviors. Consider how they play out in your interactions with the children in your life. Remember, every step taken towards fostering a stronger bond is a step towards a healthier and more secure relationship for both you and the child.

It’s a journey worth every effort.