Let’s talk about happiness.
You know, that elusive feeling that we all chase, but somehow, it always seems just out of reach. I mean, how often do we find ourselves wondering, “Why can’t I just be happy?”
Could it be that certain habits you cling to are acting as happiness blockers?
It might well be. And saying goodbye to these ones might just let joy sneak back into your life.
Let’s get started.
1) Overthinking
Let’s start with a biggie – overthinking.
Ever catch yourself trapped in a cycle of endless thoughts about a single event, situation, or decision? That’s overthinking. And let me tell you, it’s a happiness killer.
Overthinking doesn’t solve problems, rather it creates them. It feeds our fears, amplifies our anxieties, and generally makes mountains out of molehills. As noted by psychotherapist and author Amy Morin, research suggests that it’s linked to feelings of depression, anxiety, and PTSD.
The solution?
Start practicing mindfulness. Be present; be in the moment.
And when you find yourself spiraling into the overthinking abyss, gently guide your mind back to the now. It’s not an overnight fix, but with time and patience, you’ll notice the difference.
2) Comparing yourself to others
A few years back, I found myself constantly scrolling through social media, looking at people’s perfect lives and feeling a pang of jealousy. Why wasn’t my life picture-perfect like theirs? Why didn’t I have their success, their happiness?
It was making me miserable.
But here’s the thing I realized. Social media is a highlight reel. People only post their best moments, not their struggles or insecurities.
So what did I do?
I stopped comparing my behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s showreel. I started appreciating my own journey, my own growth. And you know what? It was liberating.
Comparison is the thief of joy. Focus on your path, your progress. Because in the end, that’s what truly matters.
3) Holding on to grudges
We’ve all been hurt before. Betrayed by a friend, lied to by a loved one, disappointed by someone we held in high regard. The pain is real, and sometimes, it feels easier to hold onto the grudge than let it go.
I’ve been there, too. Years ago, a close friend wronged me in a way I thought was unforgivable. I was angry, hurt, and I held onto that grudge like a protective shield. But here’s the truth I had to face: that grudge was not protecting me; it was imprisoning me.
You see, carrying around resentment stands in the way of our happiness. More than that, it doesn’t help anyone, least of all ourselves. As put by the folks at Healthline, “Harboring anger and resentment toward another person over real or perceived wrongs only hurts you, even when that person caused real or perceived harm.”
Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting or condoning the wrong done to you. It means setting yourself free from the burden of anger and bitterness.
Are you holding a grudge? Maybe it’s time to unpack the resentment and lighten your load. It won’t be easy, but it’ll be worth it.
4) Neglecting self-care
In our fast-paced world, it’s easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle. We often put our needs on the back burner, convincing ourselves that we just don’t have the time for self-care.
But here’s the hard truth.
Neglecting self-care is like running a car without ever changing its oil – eventually, it’s going to break down.
And I’m not just talking about bubble baths and spa days (although those can be great, too). Self-care is about nurturing your physical, emotional, and mental well-being. It’s about setting boundaries, eating well, getting enough sleep, moving your body, and taking time to relax and recharge.
If you’re wondering why happiness seems out of reach, take a look at your self-care routine (or lack thereof). Making time for yourself isn’t selfish – it’s necessary.
5) Fearing change
Change. It’s a six-letter word that can send shivers down the spine of even the bravest among us. But as we all know deep down – change is just one of those constants in life.
Whether it’s a new job, a new city, or a new relationship, change can be intimidating. It pushes us out of our comfort zones and into the unknown.
But here’s the thing.
Embracing change, rather than fearing it, can open doors to opportunities we never imagined. It can lead to growth, discovery, and yes – even happiness.
6) Being hard on yourself
We live in a world where we’re often our own harshest critics. We berate ourselves for our mistakes, magnify our flaws, and compare our weaknesses to others’ strengths.
Sound familiar?
You’re human. And being human means you’re imperfectly perfect. You’ll make mistakes, you’ll face failures, and that’s okay. It’s all part of the beautiful journey of life.
Instead of being hard on yourself, try extending some kindness your way. Celebrate your small victories, learn from your mistakes, and most importantly – love yourself, warts and all.
Because, at the end of the day, happiness stems from self-love and acceptance.
7) Pursuing perfection
While pursuing perfection might sound admirable, it is a race with no finish line. No matter how hard you run, how far you go, it will always be out of reach.
Life isn’t perfect. You aren’t perfect. And that’s perfectly okay.
Chasing an unattainable ideal is like chasing a mirage – you’ll eventually end up exhausted, frustrated, and disappointed. Instead, embrace the beautifully flawed journey that is life.
It’s the imperfections that make life unique, interesting, and beautiful.
Embracing your journey
If you’ve recognized yourself in these habits, don’t be hard on yourself. Each of us carries our own set of habits that can sometimes stand in the way of our happiness.
But here’s the silver lining – these habits are not set in stone.
With self-awareness, patience, and a little bit of courage, you have the power to let go of these happiness blockers. Each small step towards change, each tiny victory, brings you closer to the happiness that seems so elusive.
Start by becoming aware of these habits in your daily life. When do they show up? How do they affect you? Awareness is the first step towards change.
Then, slowly but surely, start replacing these habits with ones that serve you better. Remember, it’s not about being perfect but about progress and growth.
It might not be easy. It might take time. But trust me, it’s worth it.
As you embark on this journey towards happiness, remember to be kind to yourself. Celebrate each small victory, each moment of growth. And most importantly, remember – happiness is a journey, not a destination.
You’ve got this.
