If you want to be truly valued by your partner, say goodbye to these 7 behaviors

Throughout my journey in relationships, I’ve always strived to be the best partner I can be—though, I’ll admit, not without a few hiccups along the way.

Despite my dedication to personal growth, I’ve found myself under the scrutiny of well-intentioned friends, relationship gurus, and even my own partner. Everyone seems to suggest there might be certain behaviors in need of a tweak.

In this piece, I’ll dive into 7 behaviors that might need a farewell if you’re aiming for true appreciation from your partner.

By the end, I hope to convey that there’s no shame in reassessing your actions in a relationship and upscaling your image, just as there’s no shame in staying authentic to yourself. 

1) Being overly critical

While constructive feedback is an essential aspect of growth, an excess of criticism transforms can render even the noblest intentions ineffective.

When someone consistently adopts an overly critical stance, their partner might sense an onslaught, feeling attacked and, ultimately, demoralized.

If you’re going to be in a relationship, you have to learn to accept that your partner is an individual with their autonomy. They’re operating instinctively.

Trust me when I say this: Criticism can’t change your partner.

Love isn’t a relationship version of “America’s Got Compatibility Issues” and you’re not Simon Cowell.  True influence comes from your acceptance and understanding, and these are most impactful when offered without judgment – when you naturally embrace them.

2) Always wanting to ‘win’

Constantly seeking to “win” in a relationship, be it arguments or decisions, often transforms genuine connection into a battlefield where love becomes collateral damage.

Embracing vulnerability and acknowledging that both individuals bring unique perspectives can foster an environment of intimacy that benefits both parties, according to psychology

Meanwhile, the relentless pursuit of being right can breed resentment, leaving both partners emotionally wounded. 

Imagine a disagreement about household responsibilities. If one partner consistently insists on “winning” the argument by proving their point, it may lead to a breakdown in communication.

The desire to be right can overshadow the need for understanding, preventing a resolution. This pattern may result in frustration and distance, as genuine communication becomes compromised.

3) Being overly possessive

You might convince yourself that being excessively protective is a sign of love, but before long, you might find your partner feeling suffocated and trapped.

Being possessive is like trying to wrap your relationship in bubble wrap – it might feel protective, but it’s also strangling trust and freedom. I’ve been guilty of playing the clingy card and, oh boy, it’s like trying to hug a cactus.

Clinging too tightly just squashes the uniqueness out of the other person and turns our connection into a tug-of-war.  

This behavior not only erodes the autonomy of the other person but also signals a lack of confidence in the relationship itself. Lesson learned: a relationship needs space to breathe, grow, and evolve, and the absence of such space can be its undoing.

4) Neglecting personal space

In my own romantic journey, I’ve learned that too much togetherness without breathing room can turn even the sweetest moments into a crowded elevator.

Spending quality time together is crucial for a healthy relationship, but too much togetherness can be tricky. It’s like eating too much of your favorite food – it loses its charm!

To keep things exciting, it’s important to balance shared moments with time for yourself. This way, you won’t feel overwhelmed or dependent on each other. Healthy relationships require autonomy, allowing each partner to pursue personal interests and maintain a sense of identity.

Establishing boundaries and cultivating independent lives alongside shared experiences fosters a more robust and fulfilling connection. 

5) Dismissing their feelings

This was something I had to learn the hard way in my own relationship.

In the early stages, I would often dismiss my partner’s feelings when they didn’t align with my own. I thought of it as being practical and rational. I believed that if something didn’t upset me, it shouldn’t upset them either.

One day, my partner voiced their frustration about a situation at work. Instead of offering comfort or understanding, I brushed off their concerns, stating they were overreacting.

The hurt in their eyes was a wake-up call. I had invalidated their feelings, making them feel unheard and unimportant.

It took a sincere apology and a lot of patience on their part for us to navigate past that issue. But it taught me an invaluable lesson about the importance of empathy and respect in a relationship.

6) Holding onto past mistakes

Successful relationships thrive on forgiveness and moving forward. It’s been found that couples who are able to forgive and let go of past mistakes have healthier and longer-lasting relationships.

Here’s the key point:

This understanding encourages us to reflect on our gripes, to understand where our resentment stems from, and to honor the importance of forgiveness in a relationship.

For those feeling trapped in a cycle of blame, learning to forgive can provide a sense of liberation. It’s a reminder that we are part of an evolving story, one that includes mistakes but doesn’t have to be defined by them.

7) Expecting them to complete you

In a truly healthy relationship, it’s essential to recognize that your partner isn’t meant to be the missing piece that completes you.

Expecting your significant other to fulfill all your needs or transform you into the person you aspire to be places an undue burden on the relationship. Love should not be viewed as a merger of two halves but rather a union of two individuals who are already complete.

Each person brings their own strengths, goals, and aspirations to the table.

The beauty lies in the collaboration of two whole individuals who understand themselves, actively pursue personal growth, and come together in a united front.

Embracing this perspective fosters a relationship where both partners enhance each other’s completeness rather than attempting to fill perceived voids. 

Individuality within the unity 

Always remember: Releasing negativity in a relationship doesn’t mean sacrificing your authenticity.

Striking a balance is key – being authentic is fantastic, but nobody enjoys a pain in the neck. Relationships involve compromise and making sacrifices for mutual comfort and care.

If letting your ego hinder your ability to love doesn’t bother you, perhaps you’re not quite ready for a relationship. The art lies in finding that sweet spot where you stay true to yourself while creating a space that feels safe and nurturing for both parties.

So, as you say goodbye to these hindrances, you’re not just breaking detrimental habits; you’re ushering in an era of mutual respect, deeper connection, and a relationship where both partners thrive and feel genuinely cherished.

Here’s to a lighter, lovelier, and laughter-filled chapter in the story of ‘Us.’ 

Picture of Isabella Chase

Isabella Chase

Isabella Chase, a New York City native, writes about the complexities of modern life and relationships. Her articles draw from her experiences navigating the vibrant and diverse social landscape of the city. Isabella’s insights are about finding harmony in the chaos and building strong, authentic connections in a fast-paced world.

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