It’s so easy to be caught up in the hustle and bustle of life, especially when the world is only going to get faster and faster.
Stress inevitably piles on and we yearn for a life free from these stressors.
But did you know that the key to truly being free lies within you?
You can start by saying goodbye to these 10 attachments.
1) The need to be right all the time.
Who doesn’t love the feeling of being right? It makes us feel good, especially among other people.
The issue starts when there’s a need to be right all the time. You may find yourself arguing more as you try your best to convince others to agree with whatever you have to say.
You become increasingly stubborn and refuse to see things from the perspective of others as your only goal is to prove that you’re right. That you’re smarter than everyone else.
If you continue down this path long enough, the number of friends around you will start to dwindle and you’ll find that you’re somehow angry all the time.
And this expectation that you’ve placed on yourself can cause unnecessary stress.
2) The desire to be liked by everyone.
Again, who doesn’t love the feeling of being liked by everyone?
You enjoy it when people want to hang out with you, talk to you, and are always generally happy to be around you.
Maybe you’re a funny person or are someone who will put the needs of others above yours. These are essentially likable traits that will attract people to you.
However, this becomes a problem when you go all out to be liked by everyone, to the point where you forgo your needs. You may start making bigger and bigger sacrifices for others at the expense of your time, effort, and even money.
You may find yourself growing increasingly fatigued at having to constantly give, and stressed by every action that you do, for fear that people may start disliking you.
Maybe someone is truly in need and you’re okay to lend them some money. Perhaps someone needs a listening ear and you stay up all night with them, even though you have an early start the next day.
While these in themselves are not inherently bad, setting boundaries and taking care of yourself should be prioritized.
Although you will never get everyone you meet to like you, the important thing is to be kind to others, as well as yourself.
3) Basing your identity on material possessions.
The world defines successful people as those who are rich, or who own a ton of material possessions, like properties, cars, or luxury goods.
As these people continue to flaunt their wealth on social media, it may reinforce the belief that having more things elevates your social status. And we find ourselves desiring for more.
We try our best to accumulate wealth, whether is it chasing after better pay or growing our investments – just so that we can purchase more things.
We tell ourselves that we’ll stop once we achieve a milestone we set out ourselves, like a certain figure for our salary.
But the truth is that nothing is ever enough. We’ll just end up aiming higher and higher, and working harder and harder to get there.
While having more things is great, what’s better is preserving your mental health and peace by being grateful for what you have.
Basing your identity on what you own can get tiring, because there’ll always be something to acquire, and the cycle never stops.
4) Caring too much about what other people think of you.
Another attachment you should let go of is caring about what others think about you.
The truth is that we’re all living our individual lives on this Earth and most of us are too focused on what we’re doing to notice what you’re doing.
You may second-guess your decisions and actions because you don’t want others to think you’re an idiot.
You may even refrain from participating in activities you like, avoid speaking up, or stop yourself from contributing to something great because you’re afraid people may judge you.
Be careful with this.
One day you will wake up, much, much older, and realize that life has just passed you by, with you being so preoccupied with what others think of you that you missed out on so many exciting opportunities and experiences.
By then, it may be too late to do the things you’ve always wanted to do.
5) Past regrets
It’s normal for us to cling to the past. After all, it brings us comfort in stressful times and we’re able to retreat into that safe space.
But if you refuse to let go of past regrets, and often find yourself playing that memory over and over again, you’re not allowing yourself to be free from this never-ending cycle.
How can you venture into new areas if you’re so caught up with the past?
Yes, you may have done something to hurt others, and (hopefully) apologized for it. While they may have forgiven you, you must also learn how to forgive yourself. And move on!
6) Past hurts
There’s a saying that goes ‘You cannot control the behaviors of others, but you can control your reactions to them.’
And this is so true when I think about the people who’ve wronged me in the past (now that I’ve healed from these situations). I completely understand how tough it is to think and behave rationally when we’ve been hurt.
It’s also tough to let these hurts go, especially when the people who hurt us don’t apologize or give us closure. We end up dragging these with us as we continue through life, and they hang around our necks like a chain.
While closure is good, remember that you don’t need it. You just need to give yourself permission to let go, look forward, and move on.
So whatever you may be holding on to – take this as a sign to set it down. Release yourself from that heavy chain and go forth as a happier, freer person!
7) Relationships that do not serve you.
Nothing weighs people down more that being in a toxic relationship. Or in a relationship that doesn’t seem to be going anywhere.
Life is already tough enough, and you still have to navigate the emotions, actions, and presence of a partner who isn’t for you.
You may feel afraid to let them go because of the time and effort invested in the relationship, or because you fear singlehood.
Ask yourself this. Are you willing to bear this burden (yes, they are a burden) for the next 3, 5, or 10 years?
Are you willing to sacrifice your mental health for this person who’s obviously not worth it?
Don’t inhibit your ability to live by clinging on to something that doesn’t serve you anymore.
8) Having control over everything.
Get this straight – you will never be in control of everything. Life happens in the strangest, most random, and unexpected ways that may derail the future we have mapped out for ourselves.
As such, it’s important to be flexible. To accept that things will happen, and when they do, react to them.
The desire to be in control all the time can cause a lot of unnecessary anxiety and stress. When we finally accept that we cannot control everything, this can bring about more peace and freedom.
9) Staying in your comfort zone.
While it’s normal to be afraid of the unknown, staying in your comfort zone can actually be detrimental.
This can hold you back from potentially wonderful experiences, opportunities for personal growth, and even adventure!
This stems from being afraid to make mistakes, to fail, and to be perceived as a failure.
But this is where growth begins. Also, who cares what other people think of you?
Learn to explore, try new things and if you end up failing or making a mistake, laugh it off and try again!
10) Being perfect all the time
The point is, that we can never be perfect all the time.
Trying to attain perfection will only lead to stress and more self-criticism. We are our biggest critics, and this can prevent us from leading a life of freedom and peace.
Reframing how we view failure and seeing these as learning opportunities instead, releases us from the impossible standards we’ve set for ourselves.