If you want to be respected as you get older, say goodbye to these 8 out of touch and judgmental behaviours

A lot of self-reflection made me realize that I had some judgmental behaviors that made people lose respect for me. 

I used to think the problem was all them. And to be fair, sometimes it was. 

But when we dig a little deeper, I think we can all pin some behaviors worth changing or at least learning to compromise on. 

If people exclude you, ignore you, or clearly dislike you, part of the reason might be some out-of-touch things you do. 

To be clear, I’m not saying they are perfect, either. 

But if you want to keep your side of things clean, you should stop doing any of these that you are guilty of:

1) Dismissing the importance of emotional intelligence.

Emotional intelligence is all about recognizing, understanding, and managing your emotions. 

And when you’ve got a grip on these, you can empathize with the feelings of other people more easily. 

Why is this important?

Well, emotional intelligence plays a crucial role in how we communicate, resolve conflicts, and build relationships.

If you’re not emotionally intelligent, you’ll lack self-awareness, be difficult to talk to, and likely be a little insensitive to the feelings and needs of others. There’s also a pretty good chance you’ll be prone to emotional outbursts.

I’ll know. This was me. 

I used to think expressing my feelings however I wanted was fine. 

Whether I went into a screaming rage, burst out in tears whenever I felt triggered, or gave someone the silent treatment. I justified my behavior in many ways.

But after self-reflecting, I realized that solving issues or raising concerns calmly delivered better results. It also made the other person feel safe to show their emotions. 

Being emotionally immature can lead to more misunderstandings and conflict in personal and professional settings. 

If you want to be respected, people need to see you as someone they can collaborate with and who will offer them support.

When you’re not emotionally intelligent, there’s also a good chance you’re…

2) Not acknowledging your mistakes or refusing to apologize.

Acknowledging mistakes and saying sorry when you were wrong is one of the most important things you can do for growth. 

This behavior also shows you value your relationships and are willing to take responsibility for your actions to maintain or repair trust.

If you consistently avoid admitting when you’re wrong or refuse to apologize, it sends a message that you place your ego above the well-being of your relationships. 

People might also think you lack empathy and are unwilling to consider their perspectives or feelings. This could make you seem arrogant, untrustworthy, or insensitive, too.

The respect people have for us is often closely tied to our ability to be vulnerable and take responsibility. 

Learning to admit you were wrong and apologize when necessary will show people the strength in your character and make them respect you more. 

3) Using your age as a reason to belittle younger or older generations. 

Age-based belittlement is one of my top pet peeves! I strongly believe that age is just a number, not a reflection of someone’s character or the value they bring.  

When you think you should be respected more because of your age, you show people you lack the understanding that certain age groups have perspectives and experiences that are different from other generations. 

This behavior is often seen as judgmental and out-of-touch since it disregards the value of diversity that different age groups bring to the table. 

In my culture, a ton of older people believe they deserve respect, and more say simply based on their age. 

They see it as disrespectful when younger people set boundaries they don’t agree with, stand up for themselves, or don’t see them as someone with superior knowledge about everything. 

This ego-centric view makes me lose respect for older people faster than you can spell it! 

In a rapidly changing world, I think our best shot at success is exchanging knowledge and wisdom across generations. 

If you’re not for this, people might think you’re narrow-minded. 

You see, each generation was and is faced with unique challenges and opportunities shaped by their times’ socio-economic, technological, and cultural landscapes. 

Recognizing and respecting these differences can create an environment of mutual understanding and respect. 

If you can’t see this, you risk being perceived as someone who is stuck in their ways, unable to adapt or see the broader picture.

4) Making snap judgments about people without knowing them.

Making a judgment about someone without even knowing them is unfair, a little shallow, and close-minded. 

The thing is, when you jump to conclusions based on a superficial standard or first impression, you overlook the depth and complexities of someone’s personality, experiences, and viewpoints. 

A lack of effort can make you appear stuck-up. 

Taking the time to understand someone, listen to their stories, and try to see the world from their perspective will make them respect you more. 

Everyone deserves the chance to be seen for who they are beyond stereotypes. Making snap judgments denies someone this opportunity. 

The respect you want is also linked to how you treat others. Learning about people before forming an opinion reflects a level of respect that will be reflected back to you. 

Similarly, people might lose respect for you if you’re…

people who cant handle criticism If you want to be respected as you get older, say goodbye to these 8 out of touch and judgmental behaviours

5) Criticizing people for their life choices without understanding their reasons.

The first word that comes to mind when I think of someone who criticizes people for their choices is presumptuous. 

So, I’ll keep this short: 

You don’t know what’s best for others without fully grasping their circumstances. Every person is shaped by a combination of their experiences, challenges, and influences. 

What might seem like a poor choice for you could be a well-considered decision when considering someone’s entire situation. 

By criticizing without understanding, you not only misjudge their choices but also dismiss their autonomy, which can be demeaning and disrespectful.

Want to know the even worse part? This behavior can close off opportunities for valuable discussions. 

People who might otherwise have shared their perspectives and experiences might be too scared to do so when they think they’ll just be criticized. 

Now, don’t get me wrong. 

Constructive criticism is necessary. It’s never okay to ignore unhealthy or even harmful things other people do. 

But criticism without empathy creates misunderstandings and divides instead of promoting growth. 

When you criticize people without understanding their reasons, you could be perceived as someone who thinks your choices are universally applicable and deserve priority. 

This can make you seem out of touch with the complex realities people face, reducing their respect for your opinions and potentially your character.

It can be equally off-putting when you’re someone who’s known for…

6) Assuming superiority based on your education, job title, or income.

This attitude is often perceived as arrogant and reflects a narrow understanding of what constitutes value and worth.

Respect is deeply rooted in knowing that everyone deserves to be treated equally, regardless of their accomplishments or status. 

Remember: not all valuable contributions to this world are made by people with high-status jobs or degrees. 

Overlooking people for the fact that they don’t have either can make you seem like an elitist – qualities that are often disliked. 

People will also lose their respect for you when they realize you’re…

7) Using your position or authority to silence others.

An abuse of power is never cool. It shows a complete disregard for fairness and respect. 

Sure, you need excellent leadership skills when you’re in charge. And sometimes, this means standing firmly above others and delegating. 

But your position should never make you feel entitled to override others and lack appreciation for their contributions. 

Silencing others shows you fear being challenged and want to maintain control through intimidation instead of mutual respect and understanding. 

It suggests an insecurity in your position or arguments and implies that they cannot withstand scrutiny or debate. 

Behavior like this can make you appear weak. 

When you’re willing to listen to and learn from opposing viewpoints, you create a healthy environment for everyone on your team. 

Within your personal life, people will also see you as someone who empowers and uplifts rather than coerces. 

8) Spreading rumors or gossiping about others.

Gossip and rumors can hurt relationships and damage reputations. The only people who like someone who gossips and spreads rumors are people who do it, too. 

To be clear:

It’s totally fine to have a good laugh with your bestie about someone else’s outfit or a funny incident. 

The intent behind this usually isn’t to harm someone or spread unverified information.

Sometimes, you just want to share something that amused you, and coincidentally, another (often specific) person is involved. 

It’s lighthearted. 

But when it comes to gossip, the content is personal, sensitive, or speculative.

Spreading this type of information about someone shows you lack integrity

When you’re seen as someone who engages in this behavior, it suggests you’re willing to disrespect others’ privacy and feelings for entertainment or personal gain. And this can make you appear untrustworthy and insensitive.

For some people, gossiping and spreading rumors also show a preference for superficiality and drama over meaningful connections. 

If you gossip a lot, people might think you care more about sensation than truth. 

People don’t trust gossips. And they don’t respect them, either. No matter how you try to justify it, this behavior reflects poorly on your character. 

Final words

If you’re guilty, I suggest taking some time to understand why you do it. 

You should do the same if you relate to any other behaviors that can make people lose respect for you. 

We’re all born with a clean slate. It’s our influences and experiences that shape our character. 

I know it can be hard to unlearn toxic behaviors that were ingrained in you growing up. But ultimately, you get to decide who you want to be. 

And you can change who you are, regardless of any out-of-touch or judgmental behaviors you’ve had up until now. 

Remember: respect is earned. 

If you want people to respect you, you need to give them a reason to. 

Natasha Combrink

Natasha Combrink

Nats is a writer who loves creating content for purposeful brands. She enjoys spending time outdoors, crafting, and diving down rabbit holes. After rediscovering life, she wants to help others live to their full potential. You can connect with her on LinkedIn.

Enhance your experience of Ideapod and join Tribe, our community of free thinkers and seekers.

Related articles

Most read articles

Get our articles

Ideapod news, articles, and resources, sent straight to your inbox every month.

0:00
0:00