If you want to be a genuinely classy woman, say goodbye to these 8 commonly overlooked behaviors

There’s class and then there’s crass. 

When one thinks of classy women, people like Penelope Cruz, Catherine Zeta Jones, and Jennifer Aniston come to mind. 

When one thinks of crass, well, we’ll let you decide who in the mainstream entertainment industry is deserving of that description. 

But there are obvious differences between both groups of women. 

One group is refined, intelligent, successful and exude elegance; they also seem to have healthy self-esteem and self-control. 

The other group—well, again, crass. They talk over one another; they publicly insult and demean one another; they constantly compare themselves to each other; they talk about each other behind their backs—and on and on it goes. 

And to top it all off, they make a living not based off their talent, but their never-ending drama. 

Besides having the ability not to succumb to drama, there are actually a number of overlooked behaviors that genuinely classy women don’t engage in. 

Here are eight things to stop doing so that you can elevate your status to that of a truly classy—and elegant—woman.

1) They don’t let themselves be late 

A genuinely classy woman respects her own time—as well as the time of other people.

Not only is showing up late to an event or an appointment disruptive and disrespectful, it gives the perception that you could care less about someone else’s time. 

It can also create an inconvenience logistically, says Karla from The Classy Woman

Karla says that what’s worse than being late is canceling on someone at the last minute, “otherwise known as bailing.”

She calls canceling at the last moment one of the worst social offenders there can be. 

“If you absolutely need to [cancel] due to an unforeseen emergency, be sure to compensate the host for the cost with either a check or a more extravagant-than-usual gift as an apology,” she says. 

“If you had a personal training session, dental appointment, or spa visit on your calendar, canceling at the last minute doesn’t allow the service provider to earn back the revenue that they have now lost due to the cancellation. It affects a company’s or individual’s bottom line.”

2) They don’t interrupt others

Everyone hates being interrupted. But many of us don’t realize when we are the ones doing the interrupting. 

Cutting someone off mid-sentence points to a lack of class, says Rachel La From Global English Editing

“Classy people understand the importance of listening,” says La. “They respect others’ opinions and give them the space to express themselves.”

On the other hand, women—and people in general—who don’t have a heck of a lot of class are often too wrapped up in their own thoughts to let others speak. 

“They’re quick to interrupt, showing a lack of respect for the person they’re conversing with. It’s not only rude, but also indicates that they lack class.”

Not only is it important not to interrupt, but a classy woman gives the person she is interacting with her full attention, says Isabel Cabrera from Expert Editor.

This makes the person feel valued and heard. “This attentive behavior is especially crucial in personal relationships, where feeling acknowledged and respected is key to a healthy bond.”

3) They don’t talk down to people

It is beyond me how anyone of any gender can be rude to a server in a restaurant, or to anyone who works in the service industry for that matter. 

Not only does it lack class, it lacks character and common decency. 

These people have to wear a smile and pretend like they would rather be doing nothing than taking your food order and serving it to you, and then checking back with you again and again to make sure that everything is to your liking and up to par. 

They have to smile, be chatty, and put on “a happy face” even when they’re in the middle of a breakup. 

Or when they’ve recently had a death in the family. 

Or when their ailing mother is in the hospital but they have no choice but to work rather than be by her side because they have to make next month’s rent somehow. 

If you can’t be classy to a person who toils long shifts in the service industry just because your steak turned out to be medium rare instead of rare, well then you have issues and the world feels sorry for you. 

We can all take a lesson (or two) from the late, lovely Princess Diana. She had a smile and a kind word for everyone. She shook hands with AIDS patients at a time when people were afraid of doing that for fear they would “catch” the disease.

There’s a reason she was called the People’s Princess. It’s because she genuinely loved people from all walks of life and she was a class act because of it.

4) They don’t give in to gossiping

tiny behaviors that instantly make a woman seem classy and sophisticated If you want to be a genuinely classy woman, say goodbye to these 8 commonly overlooked behaviors

Genuinely classy women could care less about gossip. They also aren’t interested in talking about other people behind their back. 

People who gossip are insecure, says women’s life coach Donna Derosa

“When you are creating a successful life for yourself, you won’t have the time or feel the need to gossip,” she says. “Who needs the drama?”

Classy women know that they wouldn’t want other people talking negatively about them the minute they’re out of the room, so it works both ways. 

Classy women don’t allow that kind of low level energy into their life.

Gossiping says a lot more about the person engaging in it than who the gossiping is about. 

People who gossip are basically saying that they have nothing going for them but talking about other people behind their back. 

It’s off-putting and it only buys you classless, superficial friends. 

5) They also don’t obsess over what other people are doing  

A genuinely classy woman is too busy living her best life to be concerned about what anyone else is doing. 

I love the way lifestyle coach Tonya Leigh from the School of Self-Image so elegantly puts it:

“She’s too enraptured in what she’s creating, enjoying, and loving to be peeking over the fence into your garden.”

In our social media-fueled age, most people have a tendency to obsess over others’ actions because of either FOMO (Fear of Missing Out), or out of plain old envy. 

“The elegant woman rises above all the chatter and focuses on her life masterpiece. In other words, she minds her own business.”

A classy woman also doesn’t see the point in comparing her looks, life, or her livelihood to any other woman because the only person she’s in competition with is herself. 

Her main goal in life is to be better than the woman she was yesterday. 

Who says that a classy woman has time to carouse Instagram, anyway?

6) They don’t complain and they don’t explain. They take action. 

Royalists as well as die-hard fans of the classy Netflix series, The Crown, will know that the Queen (arguably the classiest women of them all), has a motto that is believed to be the key to her 70-year reign before her death in 2022:

Never complain. Never explain. 

“The very lack of personal drama has arguably been the secret of Elizabeth II’s success,” says Tracy Borman, who is author of Crown & Sceptre: A New History of the British Monarchy

“According to Proverbs: ‘The heart of Kings is unknowable.’ This is particularly true of Elizabeth II, who throughout her long reign has played her cards very close to her chest.”

The Queen has never given an interview. She has never talked publicly about the details of her life. She has remained something of an enigma and more highly respected for her character than for simply her crown and inherited station in life. 

The Queen simply got on with it. And as a classy woman who is Queen in your own right, so should you. 

Actions will take you a heck of a lot further than words could ever do. 

7) They aren’t obsessed with the superficial—be it looks or material possessions 

if you recognize these behaviors youre a classic free spirit If you want to be a genuinely classy woman, say goodbye to these 8 commonly overlooked behaviors

A truly classy woman takes pride in her appearance and cares about how she presents herself to the world. 

But how she looks and dresses is simply an extension of herself—it isn’t the essence of who she is. 

A genuinely classy woman lives to make her mark on the world and wants to improve it, and she looks good while she’s doing it at any age.

She believes that every woman is innately beautiful and that she should take care of herself inside and out

Similarly, classy ladies can certainly enjoy the finer things in life, but they’re never obsessed and they never let material things control their life, says Ana Bey, a content creator in the feminine empowerment space, who teaches transformation, fashion styling, and the art of reinventing yourself as a woman. 

“We don’t let it rule our life. We don’t ever let it define our identity and we never ever let it define our own personal value,” Bey says. 

“What really gives us value is the value that comes from inside, the confidence that we have worked on for so long and the self-esteem.”

8) They don’t boast or brag

Classy women are prideful of their accomplishments but they have enough confidence and self-worth so as not to feel the need to brag. 

“There is a certain confidence that every classy woman possesses which allows her to be content with modesty and be herself so there is no need to show off or try to get the attention of others, especially men,” says Karla from The Classy Woman

She certainly shares things on social media that she’s proud of and excited about, but it isn’t an incessant, “Here I am on vacation!” or “Here I am at yet another party!” kind of thing. 

A classy woman doesn’t always feel 100% self-assured in every single situation in life, says Karla. 

“We all have fears, doubts, and sometimes nerves that get the best of us, [but] she is aware of her areas for improvement as well as her limitations.”

She is committed to living a life based on authenticity and contentment, not “Look at me!” and “Look at me some more!”

Picture of Pearl Nash

Pearl Nash

Pearl Nash has years of experience writing relationship articles for single females looking for love. After being single for years with no hope of meeting Mr. Right, she finally managed to get married to the love of her life. Now that she’s settled down and happier than she’s ever been in her life, she's passionate about sharing all the wisdom she's learned over the journey. Pearl is also an accredited astrologer and publishes Hack Spirit's daily horoscope.

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