If you want to attract a high value man, say goodbye to these 8 behaviors

If there’s one thing you and I can probably agree on, it’s that a high-value man isn’t easy to find.

And once you do find one, there comes another obstacle – what can you do to attract his attention and show up as your best self?

That’s where this article comes in.


If you want to attract a high-value man, say goodbye to these 8 behaviors.

1) Chasing after him like a hungry tiger

Look, I know you want this guy. He’s got manners, he knows what he wants, and he’s the perfect mixture of kindness and strength, not to mention you seem to have a lot in common.

But if there’s one thing you should know from the get-go, it’s that you’re not going to attract a high-value man by texting him all the time and asking him out three times a week – especially not if he doesn’t reciprocate the effort.

And that’s because chasing is the exact opposite of attracting.

If you chase someone, you’re signaling to them that they are a real catch and you’d do anything to get them.

If you give them space and show up as your confident self, you’re proving both to them and yourself that you are the catch here.

High-value men don’t want women to pine after them.

They want someone who knows their worth. Someone who has the guts to put in effort, and if it goes unreciprocated, let that person go.

You’re not the hunter. You’re the prize.

2) Making yourself too unavailable

It’s fun to play hard to get sometimes. If the vibe is right, both you and the man in question might even enjoy the game.

But remember that even someone who wants you a great deal will eventually give up if you ditch all their attempts to woe you.

It’s a common misconception that men only want women they can’t get. In fact, there are plenty of amazing men out there who’d like to feel wanted as much as you do.

It’s all about balance.

Don’t chase after him, but don’t be so cold that it becomes too hard for him to court you.

If you’re interested, show it.

3) Acting like a pick-me-girl

“I’m not like other women.”

Really? What makes you so special?

A high-value man isn’t going to fall in love with you just because you don’t display stereotypically feminine traits.

He’s not going to think you’re special because you’re unlike other women he’s met – in fact, most of the things he’ll like about you have nothing to do with gender at all.

Your opinions. Your little quirks. Your hobbies. All these things aren’t necessarily gender-based, and yet they make up a huge part of who you are as a person.

 Do you know what makes an amazing woman?

Her desire to lift other women up, to forge strong female friendships, and to remain open-minded and non-judgmental.

A great man isn’t looking for a gossip girl or someone who needs his validation to feel special.

He’s looking for a confident woman who knows that “being like other women” is a compliment.

4) Changing your opinions just to please him or avoid confrontation

Do you know what’s attractive?


If a man you like has a specific opinion on something, changing your values in a snap of a finger isn’t going to help you – not if he’s worth your effort.

He doesn’t want to date someone who parrots his own opinions back to him or keeps quiet just to avoid having a disagreement.

He wants honesty.

If you disagree, say it. This way, you’ll get to have a productive conversation about your true values. If you manage to reach a compromise, great! Your relationship has grown stronger as a result.

If you find out that your values are at odds and it’s kind of a dealbreaker, that’s great, too! You don’t have to waste time on a relationship that isn’t going to work. Time to move on.

Either way, staying true to yourself is incredibly important. Don’t try to become someone you’re not just to please a man.

You deserve so much better than that.

5) Resorting to passive aggression when upset

behaviors emotionally immature people display in relationships without realizing it 1 If you want to attract a high value man, say goodbye to these 8 behaviors

This is something I’ve seen way too many of my friends do. 

Every time their relationship got into trouble, they’d automatically jump into passive-aggressive mode, giving their partners the cold shoulder and refusing to talk about what was wrong.

“He should know what he did to upset me. I shouldn’t have to explain.”

If we lived in a world where our partners could read our minds, we’d probably avoid a lot of miscommunication.

As it stands, though, other people don’t know what you’re thinking. They don’t know what your triggers and boundaries are, especially if they don’t know you very well.

In order to attract a high-value man, embrace the art of direct communication.

Say “no” to mind games. Stop beating around the bush. If you have certain expectations and boundaries, state them. If the man you’re talking to has done something to upset you, say so.

Men want to know where they stand. Plus, most men are terrible at reading hints.

6) Giving your emotions too much power over you

I’ll be the first person to say that women aren’t “too emotional”. There are plenty of men out there who are just as emotional – or even more so – than millions of women.

No matter your gender, the way to a high-value man’s heart is through emotional maturity.

If you’re angry, don’t go on a raging rampage of hurtful words you’ll later regret. Take some space to yourself.

If you’re frustrated, don’t let your ego turn a small problem into a huge deal just because you feel slighted or hurt. Process your feelings and talk to your partner when you’ve calmed down.

Your emotions aren’t in charge here. You are.

Of course, I’m not saying you should suppress your feelings. What I am saying, though, is that the best way to have a healthy relationship with an amazing man is to find healthy outlets for your negative emotions.

Go for a run. Beat the hell out of your pillow.

Then sit down and have a mature and respectful talk.

7) Displaying too much irresponsibility

An irresponsible partner is a nightmare. Every high-value man knows that.

No matter your values, no matter what you’re looking for in a relationship, no matter how traditional or liberal you are, the truth of the matter is that you’re an adult who ought to be able to take responsibility for their life.

If you’re financially irresponsible, it doesn’t matter how wealthy your partner is – you will still negatively contribute to the well-being of the relationship and your material circumstances.

If you can’t keep your word or always turn up late, even someone with high reserves of patience will eventually get frustrated.

Take accountability for your actions. Get in the driver’s seat of your own life.

8) Having poor manners

Finally, when it comes to the game of attraction, manners are everything.

While who you are on the inside is always much more important than how well-dressed you are or whether you bite your nails, the first impression is largely dependent on your overall appearance and behavior.

No, you don’t need a ton of make-up or a weekly visit to the hairstylist to attract a high-value man. Not at all.

But do try to:

  • Keep your nails and hair healthy
  • Carry yourself with confidence and have a good posture
  • Invest in self-care (this will help you feel better about yourself, increasing your overall confidence)

And before you go, remember that this isn’t just about getting into a relationship with a high-value man. It’s about recognizing that you are a high-value woman.

Know your worth.

Isabella Chase

Isabella Chase

Isabella Chase, a New York City native, writes about the complexities of modern life and relationships. Her articles draw from her experiences navigating the vibrant and diverse social landscape of the city. Isabella’s insights are about finding harmony in the chaos and building strong, authentic connections in a fast-paced world.

Enhance your experience of Ideapod and join Tribe, our community of free thinkers and seekers.

Related articles

Most read articles

Get our articles

Ideapod news, articles, and resources, sent straight to your inbox every month.