If you want people to take you seriously, stop doing these 11 immature things

We all want to be respected, trusted, and highly regarded. But sometimes we can be guilty of behavior that undermines this.

We may cling on to childish ways, yet wonder why we’re not taken seriously.

But before that can happen we have to stop doing these immature things…

1) Speaking first and thinking later

As a very opinionated woman, learning to speak with more tact has been a real journey for me. One that I’m still trying to navigate.

Blurting out whatever happened to cross my mind seemed to be a habit that came naturally.

Yet part of social intelligence involves developing greater tact.

Kids may get away with ill-thought-out comments that just sound rude, but less so for adults.

It can happen to us all when we fail to engage our brains before we engage our mouths.

We can easily end up putting our foot in it when this happens.

If we want to better co-operate we have to pay more attention to how we communicate.

That means:

  • Knowing we can keep our negative opinions to ourselves sometimes
  • We don’t have an automatic right to say whatever the hell we want
  • Other people’s feelings matter

Find your inner diplomat and you’ll unlock new powers of influence you didn’t know you had.

2) Letting your emotions get the better of you

First off, let me be clear that this doesn’t mean bottling things up inside and trying to put a lid on it.

Because another equally important aspect of adulthood is being able to show vulnerability and express how we feel.

So this certainly isn’t about swallowing down your tears and trying to put a brave face on.

Yet emotional regulation is a key skill of emotionally mature people.

That demands cultivating greater self-awareness around your feelings so that you understand them better.

This helps us to get to grips with our triggers, and react better (instead of emotional outbursts).

If you’re still screaming and shouting at the first sign of a disagreement or totally flying off the handle, you’ve got some work to do.

3) Being too hasty or jumping the gun

Impulsiveness is another sign of immaturity.

When we’re younger we can be quite naive and misguided. We lack the experience to take a wiser approach to decision-making.

Do you keep getting yourself into messes and wonder how you ended up there?

Perhaps your impulsive side is to blame.

Whilst we don’t have to agonize endlessly about every little decision we make, it’s smart to show some consideration.

Especially when we want others to take us seriously. Because impulsiveness doesn’t just lead to our own downfall, it often drags other people in as well.

You giving into temptation can have a serious fallout that hurts people you care about.

For example:

You didn’t think through the consequences when you got far too drunk and ended up cheating.

Perhaps afterward, in an attempt to dodge the consequences, you look to the next thing on our list.

4) Constantly making excuses for your bad behavior

There is a difference between explanations and excuses.

The latter seeks to justify behavior, whilst the former seeks only to create more understanding around it.

It’s a very important distinction because it is immature to try to push the blame elsewhere when we should be holding our hands up.

It shows a total lack of self-responsibility.

To the people around you who have to listen to it, it gets old very quickly.

5) Refusing to say sorry when you’ve messed up

This is another consequence of an inability to take ownership of your actions.

Stubbornness isn’t just a sign of pride, it’s also a sign of an immature nature.

Immature eyes see saying sorry as admitting defeat.

But if we are to heal wounds, move on from conflict, and grow as people, we have to be prepared to acknowledge our failings.

Not only to others but to ourselves as well. Because until we can cultivate this self-awareness, we’re unlikely to get very far in life.

6) Expecting other people to run around after you

Sure, it’s very nice not to have to lift a finger. But that sort of self-centeredness smacks of immaturity.

I once dated a guy who still let his mother do his laundry, his cooking, his cleaning, and countless other errands for him.

“She enjoys doing it” he would feebly say to account for her overactive role in his life.

Whether she did or didn’t isn’t really the point.

The fact is that whilst she did, he was not becoming the self-sufficient adult he should have been by that stage in his life.

As we’re about to see, if you’re always looking to others to manage your life, you turn yourself into a perpetual child.

7) Waiting for life to be handed to you on a silver platter

8 things emotionally immature men do that drive women crazy 2 If you want people to take you seriously, stop doing these 11 immature things

I’ve got some bad news:

It’s your life and no one else is going to save you.

I know, it sucks.

There are two approaches that we can take.

The first is that we empower ourselves and at least try to go out and get what it is we desire. This is the mature approach.

The second is that we act like a victim and wonder why life is so unfair to us. No surprise that this is the immature approach.

It sounds so obvious when it’s spelled out like that. But the truth is we can find 1001 subtle little ways of avoiding rolling up our sleeves and getting to work.

The next thing on our list is one of them.

8) Complaining about everything

If we want to make ourselves feel even more powerless, complaining is a great way to go about it.

Look, we all indulge in a grumble to get things off our chest.

It can help us blow off some steam so that we can move on and forget about it. After all, you know what they say about a problem shared being a problem halved.

Sometimes saying our irritations out loud helps us to let it go.

But we need to be so careful of moaning that starts to become habitual.

Before you know it, you’ve dived deep into negativity, and that is a total drag to be around.

Nobody wants the entitled whiner on their team, and who can blame them.

9) Trying to get revenge when you feel wronged

OMG, GET OVER IT!

Just kidding.

I know when we’ve been wronged and hurt as a consequence of someone else’s actions, it stings.

It takes time to process that and come to terms with how we feel.

But there’s a way to go about it.

Life isn’t some quirky American teen movie, where we’ll feel so much better after we teach the mean girl a lesson.

Sulking, plotting revenge, and generally holding on to bitterness only drags you down.

As it does, you may just find that other people start to lose respect for you, along with any sympathy they may have once felt.

10) Bad-mouthing your friends behind their back

The “friends” part probably deserves to be in inverted commas because let’s face it, that’s not how you treat a friend.

It wasn’t cool even when we were in high school, but we definitely should have grown out of this nasty habit by adulthood.

As my mom used to say:

Have the guts to say what you think or keep it to yourself.

If you’re seen as a gossip, not only will people not take you seriously, they’re not going to trust you either.

Let me climb down off my high horse for a minute though…

Because I think we have all probably said something unkind behind someone’s back at some point or another.

But we’ve got to get better at communicating in healthy ways.

When we do, we don’t need passive-aggressive techniques like this to vent our frustrations.

Instead, we can be big girls and boys and use our words in mature ways.

11) Throwing a tantrum when you don’t get your own way

I, like I’m guessing everyone else, much prefer it when things go my way.

In an ideal world, it sounds nice to have my needs and wants come at the top of everyone else’s priority list.

My ego would love it if nobody ever disagreed with me and I got the satisfaction of always being right.

But alas, in the real world that’s not the way it works.

Instead, we have to deal with the fact that everyone has different thoughts, ideas, opinions, and preferences.

Sometimes they are bound to clash with our own.

You get a reputation as being a difficult person if you can’t learn to handle that graciously.

Unless you’re a toddler, throwing a tantrum is no longer acceptable behavior.

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Tina Fey

Tina Fey

I've ridden the rails, gone off track and lost my train of thought. I'm writing for Ideapod to try and find it again. Hope you enjoy the journey with me.

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