Emotional intelligence is finally being seen for what it is:
Extremely important. f
But how emotionally intelligent are you? It can be a hard question to answer and there are many ways to think about it.
In many cases, however, emotional intelligence is less about any kind of theoretical or mental “level” you reach and more about what you actually do and say.
With that in mind, let’s take a look at these key phrases that show a high level of emotional intelligence. If you use these on a daily basis, you’re acing the emotional intelligence scale and bringing more EQ into the world in a big way!
1) “I hear you”
This is a powerful and crucial thing to say and shows a lot of emotional intelligence.
Letting somebody know that what they’re saying isn’t going over your head is important.
It also demonstrates that you’re paying attention and that you care about what they mean. You’re not just passively absorbing words, you’re mulling them over and making sense of them.
2) “I truly appreciate you”
We live in a world where online likes and comments are the new form of validation.
But they still don’t go anywhere close to real, in-person reassurance and kindness.
Letting somebody know you appreciate them is a powerful gesture that won’t be soon forgotten. It’s a sincere expression that makes even the most common everyday interaction glow with goodwill.
3) “Can you tell me more about it?”
Hearing what somebody is saying also involves delving deeper into it.
In some cases you may feel you only partly understand or want to know more.
Inviting a person to tell you more about something is a demonstration of real emotional intelligence and curiosity. You’re showing that you actually care what they’re saying.
As self-development authors Kathy and Ross Petras write:
“People who lack self-awareness only care about their own thoughts and opinions.
But emotionally intelligent people are interested in how others feel and what they have to say.”
4) “Did I understand you correctly?”
Asking for clarification is another very emotionally intelligent phrase.
When somebody is asked to explain what they mean more fully, they know that you’re hearing them and you also get the chance to ensure you actually do understand what’s being said.
This phrase is highly emotionally intelligent, because instead of assuming you understand you specifically ask for more information and clarification.
5) “I’d love to hear what you feel about…”
This emotionally intelligent phrase invites somebody to open up about their feelings.
It’s open ended, which allows freedom in response, and it also includes mentioning that you would “love” to hear what somebody thinks.
This aspect of being pleased to hear about someone’s feelings and giving them an open invitation to talk about whatever subject is under discussion is highly emotionally intelligent.
“People with a high EQ are good at reading other people’s emotions, but they also take a beat before assuming,” notes Beth Ann Meyer in Parade.
6) “You both make great points…”
When multiple people are talking and having a discussion or argument, you don’t necessarily take sides.
In fact, you point out that both of these people are making solid points.
This phrase allows everyone to feel valued and feel included in what’s being talked about. By valuing all members of a debate or discussion, you keep it going and make everyone involved feel heard and valued.
This is a great thing to say in a business and personal context, because everybody responds well to their perspective being valued.
7) “You did an amazing job”
Asking for feedback isn’t just something automated messages do after you call a helpline.
It’s something that can be given in real life, letting others know they’ve done a wonderful job and are much appreciated.
This can be on the personal or professional level, and either way it is a very emotionally intelligent thing to do.
As counseling psychologist Dr. Jameca Cooper notes:
“By using this phrase, individuals with high emotional intelligence demonstrate that those around them need positive reinforcement through encouraging feedback.”
8) “I’d feel the same if I were you”
This expression of solidarity is a phrase that goes a long way.
It creates real bonds and shared empathy with others, letting them know that they’re not alone and that their feelings are valid.
This is especially powerful if somebody is feeling very alone or struggling in a crisis where they doubt their own reaction or wonder if it’s unusual.
9) “I respect what you’re saying even if I don’t agree”
This is an emotionally intelligent way to disagree with someone and make it clear you still respect them.
Putting it out loud in words like this makes it crystal clear that your disagreement is not personal and does not come with hidden judgments.
You view a subject or matter differently than them, but you don’t feel they are “bad” or have any malicious reaction to the person.
This is a mature and emotionally intelligent phrase to use.
10) “I need some time to think about this”
Emotional intelligence relates as much to understanding your own emotions as those of others.
The above statement is rich with self-awareness, because it gives you time and space to reflect on something.
Knowing that you need this extra time to ponder something shows that you know yourself and that you’re willing to speak up for yourself, which is a win-win.
11) “I see you and I’m glad you’re here”
We live in a world where people are less valued than ever.
All the online likes and views and comments, but less and less in-person affirmation:
You are seen. You are valued. You are wanted here.
These words are highly emotionally intelligent, because by saying them you add huge value and reassurance to someone’s day, including those who may be fighting much bigger battles than you realize.
12) “I love you”
Saying this is a big step, and it’s always something that should be said sincerely.
But learning how to express love and be able to say this is definitely a benchmark of emotional intelligence for that very reason.
Being able to say you love somebody when you love them is a clear sign that you’re comfortable being vulnerable and expressing real affection and commitment.
“These three words can be so hard to say. But it’s a sign of emotional intelligence if they genuinely roll off the tongue,” observes Meyer.
