If you relate to these 10 signs, your marriage has a solid foundation (according to psychology)

There’s a vast chasm between merely being married and possessing a rock-solid, enduring marriage. This distinction hinges upon what I refer to as “foundation factors.”

These foundation factors are the fundamental elements that construct a sturdy base for your marriage. And believe me, if you can identify with these 10 signs, your marriage is likely established upon a rock-solid foundation.

So, let’s embark on an exploration of these signs that unveil the depth of your partnership, indicating that you possess more than just a marriage; you have a resilient, enduring partnership designed to withstand the test of time.

1) You communicate effectively

Communication is often hailed as the cornerstone of any strong relationship.

And this is particularly true when it comes to marriage.

Think about it. When you and your spouse can effectively communicate, not only are you able to express your wants and needs clearly, but you also promote a deeper understanding and connection with each other.

So if you find that you and your partner can discuss anything and everything – from the mundane details of your day to the deeper, more personal topics – then congratulations! You’re ticking one of the most important boxes for a solid marriage foundation.

Being able to communicate effectively involves more than just speaking; it encompasses listening and understanding as well. Honesty, empathy, and respect should form the core of all your communications.

2) You’ve got each other’s backs

I’ll never forget something that happened early on in my marriage. My husband and I were at a social gathering when someone made a snide comment about me. I remember feeling embarrassed and shrinking a bit, but then I saw my husband step forward. He defended me with such grace and firmness that it left no room for further comments.

That was when I realized – we’re a team. We’ve got each other’s backs, and that’s a powerful thing.

Feeling secure and united in your relationship, where you both support and stand up for each other, is a strong sign of a great marriage. This sign of mutual respect and support strengthens the foundation of your relationship, making it resilient in the face of challenges.

3) You’re not afraid of conflict

This might sound odd, but hear me out. Conflict, when handled healthily, can actually strengthen a marriage.

In many cases, moments of disagreement between partners have led to significant growth. Yes, it’s uncomfortable, and yes, it can be challenging. However, through those difficult conversations, they often deepen their understanding of each other.

It’s like what Carl Jung, the famous Swiss psychiatrist and psychoanalyst said: “Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.” Conflict allows couples to learn more about themselves and their partners.

When couples don’t avoid disagreements and instead view them as opportunities to enhance their relationship, their marriage is built on a solid foundation.

It’s not how often you fight, but how you fight that matters. Healthy conflict resolution involves active listening, empathy, compromise, and mutual respect. It’s not who wins or loses; it’s understanding each other better and growing together.

4) You have shared values

Having shared values is a strong indicator of a healthy marriage. This doesn’t mean you and your partner must agree on every single thing. Rather, it’s about aligning on the fundamental principles and beliefs that guide your life decisions.

Shared values can relate to various aspects of life such as parenting, finances, spirituality, and lifestyle choices. When you share core values, it’s easier to make decisions and navigate challenges together.

It’s crucial to note that shared values are not static. Over time, as you both grow and change, your values might evolve too. The key is to maintain open communication about these changes and find common ground.

A marriage with shared values tends to have a clearer vision of the future, promoting unity and mutual understanding between partners.

5) You’re okay with spending time apart

Now, this might seem counterintuitive. After all, shouldn’t a solid marriage mean you want to spend every moment together? Not necessarily.

As I’ve learned over the years, being comfortable with spending time apart is actually a sign of a healthy relationship. It shows trust, independence, and a respect for each other’s individuality.

To quote the famous psychologist and author, Dr. Esther Perel, “The challenge for modern couples lies in reconciling the need for what’s safe and predictable with the wish to pursue what’s exciting, mysterious, and awe-inspiring.”

In other words, it’s okay – even healthy – to have your own hobbies, interests, and time apart. It fuels personal growth and brings freshness into your shared life.

6) You feel secure and comfortable

Shared values in lifestyle If you relate to these 10 signs, your marriage has a solid foundation (according to psychology)

Feeling secure and comfortable around your spouse is a tell-tale sign of a solid marriage. When you can be your authentic self, without fear of judgment or criticism, it creates a safe space for both partners to grow and thrive.

Dr. Brene Brown, a renowned research professor at the University of Houston, has beautifully captured this in her words, “Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage.”

When you can freely share your deepest fears, joys, hopes, and dreams with your spouse without hesitation, it demonstrates a high level of trust and intimacy. Being vulnerable and open about your emotions is not only okay but essential for fostering a deep and meaningful connection.

7)  You share future vision

A shared vision of the future is another sign of a strong marriage. This means you both have a common idea about where you want your relationship to go and what you want to achieve together.

It could involve buying a house, having children, career goals, or even retirement plans. It’s not just having similar aspirations, but also supporting each other’s individual dreams and ambitions.

Having a shared future vision can help in decision-making and conflict resolution as you both have a clear understanding of where you’re heading. It aligns your actions and decisions towards common goals, fostering unity and cohesion in your relationship.

A marriage with a shared future vision indicates that both partners are committed to each other and the relationship.

8) You express positive affection

The final sign of a solid marriage foundation is the consistent expression of positive affection. Love and affection are not just about saying ‘I love you’. They’re about showing it in your actions.

Positive affection can be expressed in various ways like a warm smile, a caring touch, or a thoughtful gesture. It could also be spending time doing something your partner enjoys or simply listening when they need an ear.

Expressing affection strengthens the emotional bond between partners and fosters a sense of security and belonging. It’s a vital component that sustains the passion and intimacy in long-term relationships.

9) You support personal growth

A key sign of a solid marriage is the support for personal growth. This means that both partners encourage and support each other’s individual development and aspirations.

In such a marriage, there’s an understanding that each partner is a unique individual with their own set of dreams, interests, and goals. There’s space for each person to grow, evolve, and pursue their passions without feeling held back.

Supporting each other’s personal growth fosters a sense of appreciation, respect, and admiration in the relationship. It shows that you value each other not just as partners but as individuals with unique identities. This mutual support for personal growth adds a layer of depth and resilience to your marital foundation.

10) You make time for each other

In the hustle and bustle of life, it’s all too easy to let quality time with your spouse slip down the priority list.

A strong marriage is built on shared experiences and quality time spent together. This doesn’t necessarily mean grand gestures or elaborate vacations. It could be as simple as cooking a meal together, watching a movie, or taking a walk in the park.

Whether it’s a regular date night, a shared hobby, or simply a few minutes of undivided attention each day, these moments of connection are vital. They help to keep the spark alive and strengthen your bond.

In a solid marriage, both partners prioritize spending quality time together. They understand the importance of shared experiences in strengthening their bond and make conscious efforts to create these moments. This shared time not only brings joy but also builds a reservoir of happy memories that can help weather difficult times.

Strengthening your marital foundation

Having identified these signs, the next logical step is to strengthen these aspects of your relationship. Remember, a solid marriage is not a destination but a journey of continuous growth and effort.

Start with open and honest communication about your feelings, fears, and expectations. Discuss your shared values and goals, and ensure you’re on the same page. Spend quality time together, cherish your friendship, and support each other’s personal growth.

Remember to approach conflicts as opportunities for growth and understanding. Practice empathy, patience, and compromise. And most importantly, maintain trust and honesty as these are the bedrock of your relationship.

By consciously working on these aspects, you can strengthen your marital foundation. It may take time and effort, but the result – a fulfilling and lasting marriage – is definitely worth it.

Picture of Eliza Hartley

Eliza Hartley

Eliza Hartley, a London-based writer, is passionate about helping others discover the power of self-improvement. Her approach combines everyday wisdom with practical strategies, shaped by her own journey overcoming personal challenges. Eliza's articles resonate with those seeking to navigate life's complexities with grace and strength.

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