Ah, charm. That magical quality we all wish to possess, and yet it’s granted only to those lucky enough to be born with it.
That’s what you might think, anyway. In reality, charisma has very little to do with one’s innate talent or genes and more with the skills you gain throughout your life.
If you want to be a bit more charming, no one’s stopping you. It’s all about changing how you move, behave, and talk so that other people naturally gravitate toward your confidence and warmth.
Plus, you might already be more charming than you realize.
Don’t believe me? Well, have a look at the following 10 phrases. If you regularly use them… congratulations! You’ve hit the jackpot.
1) “I love your [item/personality trait]!”
Ever heard of the reciprocity of liking effect? When someone assumes you like them, their own positive feelings toward you increase in response.
This is because humans just love to be liked. It makes us feel good to know that somebody thinks highly of us, and since we get such positive emotions from an interaction with them, we automatically want to create a closer bond.
Enter… compliments!
A compliment as simple as “I love your skirt” can make someone’s whole day. Plus, it signals that you have good intentions and that you’re open to being friends, which immediately increases your charm levels.
If you regularly compliment people, you’re on a good track to becoming more charming.
2) “I see where you’re coming from”
Alright, here’s the deal.
Charm isn’t really about you. It’s about how you make people feel.
You can be as confident and talented as humanly possible, but if you put others down, show a lack of empathy, and act cold and unapproachable… well, let’s just say people won’t exactly like you.
This is why trying to find an understanding for everyone is so vital to charm.
Don’t just sit there and nod when someone’s complaining or feeling down. No, place yourself in their shoes, actively listen, and reply throughout the conversation.
“I see where you’re coming from” isn’t just about agreement. It’s about reaching a mutual sense of understanding one another on a deeper level.
And if there’s one thing people want, it’s to feel understood and heard.
3) “I want to understand you better”
Not everyone will immediately open up to you, and that’s completely understandable. Some people need a bit of time before they cross the threshold between an acquaintance and a friend.
However, if you have a genuine interest in somebody’s inner world, “I want to understand you better” opens up a door between you two and helps encourage the other person to walk through it.
This phrase is charming because it displays curiosity, empathy, and an authentic desire for connection.
I’ve had people tell this to me a few times in the past, and I can tell you it made my chest feel so warm and fuzzy I could have lit up the whole world.
Hearing someone say they want to understand who you are deep inside is a compliment like no other.
4) “What do you think about…?”
On a similar note, asking questions is one of the best ways to show off your charm.
Yes, that’s right. The most effective way to appear charming is not to focus the conversation on yourself. It’s to make the other person feel like the centre of your universe.
My best friend does this all the time. She is so highly invested in my own life, opinions, and experiences that conversations with her are inherently fulfilling because she makes me feel like the most important person in the whole world.
Of course, I return the favor.
5) “I appreciate you”
The truth is, people don’t just want to be loved. We all want to be appreciated. We want to know that all our hard work and effort haven’t gone unrecognized.
We want others to show us we matter to them.
Which is exactly why “I appreciate you” is so incredibly charming. These three simple words can completely rock someone’s world because when you say that you appreciate them, you are acknowledging them in all their beauty.
You are essentially saying, “Thank you for being here. I’m so grateful I get to be your friend/partner/family member.”
What’s more, the fact that you don’t hesitate to say how you feel out loud shows inner strength, emotional maturity, and honesty, all of which are very charming indeed.
6) “Thank you”
While we’re on the topic of the power of appreciation, let’s unpack why “Thank you” immediately boosts your charisma score.
First of all, replying to compliments with a smile and a “Thank you” signals to everyone around you that you don’t have any problem accepting praise. This is a sign of confidence and self-assuredness.
Since you don’t brag or boast upon receiving a compliment and simply resort to a “Thank you”, you’re also displaying healthy humility, which only increases your chances of being liked by others.
Finally, “Thank you” in almost any context is basically a win because it revolves around gratitude. And believe me when I say that gratitude never goes out of style.
It’s appealing when you show that you cherish the people in your life.
7) “No problem”
Let’s say someone’s accidentally splashed coffee on your t-shirt.
Sure, you can get all red in the face and shout at them. Sure, you can burst out crying. Sure, I suppose you could give them a look full of contempt and walk away.
But none of those are very charming. If your go-to phrase when something bad happens is “No problem,” it means that you are flexible, adaptable, and have an optimistic attitude.
It means that you don’t get affected by negativity easily. And that, my friend, is charm at its best.
8) “I’m not sure but I’ll look into it”
I hate it when people pretend to know a great deal about something they’ve never even heard of.
Do you know what’s super attractive, though?
Admitting that you have no clue. “I’m not sure but I’ll look into it” does two things:
- It displays authenticity, honesty, and the courage to admit a lack of knowledge
- It shows motivation, curiosity, and the drive to learn more about the topic in question
As you might have already guessed, both help you score points on our fictional charm board.
9) “I’ll figure it out”
This phrase is in the same vein to the ones above. It’s all about the motivation to seek new skills, the courage to face new challenges, and the belief in oneself.
Not only that but “I’ll figure it out” is a phrase that signals self-sufficiency, resourcefulness, and independence.
If you regularly use this phrase, here’s your free ticket to the charm club!
10) “Let’s agree to disagree”
At some point in your life, you will naturally butt heads with someone. That’s just a fact. There are billions of people on this planet, and lots of them won’t agree with your opinions.
The most charming thing you can do is to have a mature and reasonable discussion that doesn’t escalate because you’re approaching it with an open mind.
And if you still disagree after hours and hours of an interesting conversation?
“Let’s agree to disagree” comes to the rescue. This charming little phrase puts an end to the conversation with no hard feelings, displaying a strength of character, integrity, and emotional maturity.
And if there’s one thing that’s 100% charming, it’s got to be emotional maturity.
