If you recognize these 10 signs, you’re more than happy being child-free

This topic is pretty hot right now – if you’re on social media, chances are, you’ve seen the reels of child-free women and men, lounging in their quiet, clean, houses and jetting off on holidays on a random Tuesday afternoon…all because they can.

But as ideal as they make life seem, choosing to be child-free is a big decision to make.

It’s one I’m grappling with at the moment. I always thought I’d have kids by now, but at 31, I’m having serious doubts about it. 

The truth is, life is pretty good as it is. And the idea of bringing a little person into the mix isn’t my priority. At least not now. 

Perhaps you feel the same. Or maybe you’re dead set on never having children and have known this since you were a kid. 

Either way, if you recognize these 10 signs, you’re more than happy being child-free:

1) You value your freedom

It’s funny, just before writing this article, I called my cousin. She’s got three boys all under the age of 4. 

I mentioned how I spent the weekend lazing around and watching episodes of Friends back to back. She longingly sighed… “I would love to just be able to watch TV and not have to get up and…”

She didn’t get a chance to finish her sentence as one of her adorable angels had smeared strawberry jelly across the wall. 

It occurred to me, while she yelled at her kids, that as a child-free woman, I have so much freedom. And I love it. 

If you feel the same way, you’re probably more than happy with your decision not to have children. 

You can book a holiday for any time of the year, without being restricted to school holidays. You can choose what you want to do on any given day, without having to factor anyone else in. 

That sense of freedom is priceless. 

2) You lack strong parental instincts

Perhaps you’ve held babies and felt uncomfortable. Watched mothers nurse their children and thought, “Nope, not for me, thanks.”

And that’s perfectly okay. 

You can’t force yourself to feel something that doesn’t come naturally, and why should you? 

If the idea of having a little Rugrat clinging to you 24/7 makes you want to crawl under your blanket and hide, then it sounds like you’re more than happy being child-free. 

3) You enjoy peace and quiet

When I get home from visiting friends with children, I cherish the peace and tranquility that hits me the moment I walk through the front door. 

Not to mention, I love my quiet mornings, sipping my coffee, and listening to the birds chirp outside. 

And if you’re happy being child-free, chances are this is something you value too. 

Because let’s be honest, kids change all of that. No matter how well-behaved or cute they are, they’re little noise machines. 

And that’s great for people who don’t mind a hectic household or kids waking them up at 6 a.m. to put cartoons on.

But for other people, this sounds like hell. 

4) You have career or personal goals that don’t align with parenthood

life experiences wise soul If you recognize these 10 signs, you’re more than happy being child-free

Another sign you might be more than happy being child-free is if your goals don’t align with having kids. 

Perhaps you know exactly where you want to be in five or 10 years, and that dream doesn’t involve diapers or the school run. 

If you know that kids would be detrimental to achieving that goal, it makes sense that you don’t desire to have them. 

This reminds me of a friend I have, he went through a lot of trauma in his childhood. He’s working through his issues now, but he’s pretty adamant that he won’t have kids

Ultimately, his priority is getting his life on track and having a child could hamper that, causing him to regress and his child to suffer as a result. 

5) You appreciate financial independence

Some studies claim that raising a child to the age of 18 in the USA costs roughly $310,605. That works out to be about $17,000 a year. 

Having kids isn’t cheap. Aside from feeding, clothing, school supplies, and medical bills, there are a ton of other things most parents need to shell out for. 

And rightly so, if you’re going to bring someone into this world, you should be prepared to buy the things they need to thrive. 

But what if you really value financial independence

What if you enjoy having savings and not worrying about how to pay for a college education in the year 2041? 

It’s pretty clear – you’re happier being child-free. 

And I get that. I’m really enjoying saving for my goals and also having money to spare to go on holidays, invest, and in general, spend on myself.

6) You prioritize your intimate relationships

I love my friends but I can’t deny that things have changed since they had kids. Our friendship has taken a back seat. And I completely understand it. 

Of course, they have to prioritize their children. Of course, I’ll wait patiently to catch them for a strained catch-up while they juggle nursing with chasing their kids around the cafe. 

Do I want the same for myself, though? 

Not really. 

This might be something that’s crossed your mind too. 

You enjoy the intimacy you have in your relationships, whether that’s with a partner or friends. 

You want to be able to spend quality, one-on-one time together, without the distraction of kids. 

Or perhaps you and your partner have made the decision together to focus on your relationship, knowing that children can often put a strain on couples. 

7) You have environmental or ethical concerns about having children

This is an argument I’ve revisited time and time again. 

Why are people in such a rush to have children when the world’s resources aren’t getting any better, and climate change is a real issue? 

If you have this concern, it’s another sign you’re more than happy to be child-free. Especially if you’re a passionate advocate for improving the state of the world. 

I remember having this debate with an older woman who never had children. 

She said she did it for the environment but in the end, her not having children didn’t make a huge impact on the state of the world. And now she was alone and unhappy with her decision. 

That was an interesting viewpoint to hear. 

But ultimately, if this is something you feel strongly about, you can’t let the fear of potentially having regrets in the future dictate what you do now. 

8) You don’t feel you’re missing out without kids

attached to things wont move forward in life If you recognize these 10 signs, you’re more than happy being child-free

As a woman, I’m pretty used to people asking me when I’m planning on having kids. 

When I say “never” or “not now”, I’m often met with looks of bewilderment. Like there’s nothing else in the world apart from having children.

Chances are, you know all too well the type of encounters I’m describing. 

What those people fail to realize, though, is that you can live a fulfilling life being child-free

You can have a sense of purpose from your job, you can get company from friends and family, and you can have passion in the way of your hobbies. 

But society isn’t quite ready to accept that. They make child-free people feel as if they’re selfish or missing out.

I say if you’re happy with your life the way it is, why change it? If you feel a sense of relief after being around people with kids, there’s a good chance you’re making the right decision for you. 

9) You’re deeply involved in roles outside of parenthood

Talking of finding purpose and fulfillment in your job, this can also be true of the roles you play outside of parenthood.

Perhaps you pride yourself on being an awesome aunt or uncle.

Maybe you’re a mentor to young people. 

Or you love your role as the community spokesperson. 

The point is, parenthood isn’t the only way to feel like you’re living a full life. There are so many connections and roles outside of it that can be just as rewarding. 

And if you’ve found yours, good for you! That could be another sign that you’re more than happy being child-free. 

10) You’re at peace with your decision not to have kids

And finally, the biggest sign that you’re on the right path for you is if you’re at peace with your decision to be child-free. 

I have to say, I’m still up and down. I’d say I’m 90% sure of myself, but I don’t know what the future looks like and since I’m a pretty open-minded person, I could change. Who knows. 

But if you’re 100% sure, that’s all you need. 

You’ve likely thought deeply about this subject, and weighed up whether having kids is the right thing for you. Whether it aligns with your values and goals. 

The truth is, there’s always going to be someone with a judgmental attitude – that one person who has to question you on your choice. 

Or even worse, warn you that you’ll regret it when you’re older (cue eye-roll). 

But when you’re sure within yourself, you can drown out this excess noise. 

Ultimately, you get to decide how you live your life, and no one should make you feel bad about it. 

So, I hope the signs in this list confirm that you’re making the right decision, and if not, I guess you’ve got a lot more thinking and weighing up to do! 

Picture of Kiran Athar

Kiran Athar

Kiran is a freelance writer with a degree in multimedia journalism. She enjoys exploring spirituality, psychology, and love in her writing. As she continues blazing ahead on her journey of self-discovery, she hopes to help her readers do the same. She thrives on building a sense of community and bridging the gaps between people. You can reach out to Kiran on Twitter: @KiranAthar1

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