If you recognize these 12 signs, you’re a socially confident introvert (according to psychology)

Being introverted is not the same thing as being shy or lacking confidence. 

In fact many introverts are remarkably successful at forming personal and professional relationships and are deeply confident. They just do it in their own way: more low-key, and at lower intensity. 

However their confidence has no problem whatsoever, in fact it’s thriving. 

If this sounds like you, let’s take a look:

Here are the most important signs that you are a highly confident and competent introvert, according to psychology.

1) You like deep and intense conversations…

As a socially confident introvert, you often engage in meaningful conversations, contributing thoughtfully and actively listening to others

You enjoy hearing other points of view and being around people who are discussing important topics. 

Although you may adopt more of the role of a listener as opposed to the proactive contributing role, you are valued and valuable in these interactions. 

You’re also generally respected by those you interact with.

“Conversationally, introverts prefer to dive deep,” notes psychological educator and author Jenn Granneman.

“We want to know what’s really going on in your head, or to talk about something interesting we’ve read, heard, or watched, among other meaningful topics.”

2) …But you’re also fine with occasional small talk

You are also able to engage in small talk when necessary without getting stressed or worrying about it. 

A little bit of small talk doesn’t throw you off your game, and you are able to deal with surface level interactions easily and without feeling awkward. 

Although you prefer not to be the one who starts too much small talk, it doesn’t bother you or intrude on your inner peace or core stability.

3) You’re not outgoing but you are selectively social 

Socially confident introverts are selective about their social engagements, choosing quality over quantity. 

They prioritize relationships with individuals they genuinely connect with. 

If this sounds like you, then you are a confident introvert who is able to form corresponds. 

It is just that you are a bit more selective about which ones those are.

As business coach Latoya Morris notes:

“Being a socially selective introvert, simply means you’re capable of interacting in a way that one might deem an extrovert, yet you’re also equally capable of working in an environment alone.”

4) You’re confident about your social skills

You have confidence in your social skills, knowing when and how to assert yourself in social situations and when to step back and observe. 

Finding this balance comes naturally to you, without much stress at all. 

Although you are an introvert who gets more of your energy and inspiration from being alone, you are fully able to thrive in busy social situations.

You aren’t scared off or intimidated by demanding interactions, including in your professional life.

5) You’re self-aware and authentic 

Socially confident introverts have a strong sense of authenticity and self-awareness. They are true to themselves and don’t back down.

This means you are  comfortable with who you are and don’t feel the need to conform to societal expectations. 

The time you spend alone in self reflection and introspection helps you grow in your self-awareness, creating a self-reinforcing feedback loop of your own self understanding. 

This makes you even more confident about yourself and your social abilities.

“Introverts are often deeply immersed in their own inner ‘world’ of sensory experiences, thoughts, and feelings,” explains Laura Dorwart.

“This can help them develop greater self-awareness, allowing introverts to reflect on how they can grow and improve in the future.”

6) You’re flexible and adaptable socially

phrases theyre probably a narcissist If you recognize these 12 signs, you're a socially confident introvert (according to psychology)

You are adaptable in social situations, able to navigate various social dynamics and environments with ease. 

Although you prefer to stay home alone or interact with a close and small group of friends, you are able to adapt and be flexible as the situation demands and can handle small talk or other interactions as they come up. 

7) You’re able to use silence and pauses to your advantage

Socially confident introverts are comfortable with silence in conversations, using it strategically to reflect or allow others to speak. 

Your skill at being a sharp listener and proceeding more than the average extrovert in your environment gives you a leg up in many conversations and allows you to use silence and pauses to your advantage. 

You don’t feel the compulsion to speak or always be right, which ironically gets you more leverage and insight, including in personal interactions.

You learn an enormous amount by letting people talk.

As Dr. Alex Lickerman, M.D. explains:

“Silence gets you out of the way and creates a space others will fill in with themselves. A person’s personality becomes apparent in mere hours to days.”

8) You feel secure about setting boundaries

Socially confident introverts are assertive in setting boundaries, knowing their limits and communicating them effectively to others. 

If this sounds like you, then you have succeeded in integrating your introspective epiphanies into your outer life. 

You are able to set boundaries and stick to them and also stand up to other people who cross your boundaries or violate your trust.

In other words, you’re an introvert but you’re far from a pushover and you stand your ground when people become disrespectful or try to encroach past your limits in any way. 

9) Being alone is an empowering time for you

Socially confident introverts don’t fear being alone, in fact they embrace it.

They enjoy alone time for self-reflection, recharge, and pursuing their interests and passions. 

This can be a definite strength and a sign of increased confidence, because your lack of need for large groups or social opportunities actually makes you more self-sufficient.

You’re able to gain enormously from time spent alone, rather than feeling helpless or lonely the way more extroverted people tend to.

10) You have high emotional intelligence 

You possess high levels of empathy and emotional intelligence, allowing you to connect deeply with others and understand their perspectives.

Your introversion and understanding of yourself has translated over to other people in very useful ways. 

You get how people feel and understand what motivates them in a way that allows you to connect up with them easily. 

“Emotional intelligence (EQ)… is conceived to be our basic ability to process and manage our own emotions and to recognize, understand, and manage the emotional messages exhibited by others,” explains Psychology Professor Ronald E. Riggio, Ph.D.

11) You’re good at networking in a quiet, low-key way

You may be on the quieter side, but you excel at networking.

You’re adept at leveraging your listening skills, genuine interest in others, and ability to form meaningful connections. 

This translates into very easily building bridges with those around you and finding common ground in both a personal and professional context. 

You don’t push people but are good at quietly linking up with them and understanding their interests, which pays off in the long run in many ways. 

12) You embrace your introverted nature as a strength

You have a positive self-image and self-esteem, embracing your introverted nature as a strength rather than a limitation.

Although you’re more of a listener, you recognize the value you bring to social interactions. 

You own your introversion and are proud of it. 

As therapist Amy Sarow says of her own introversion:

“Rather than feeling ashamed of my quiet presence, I know that the world values and needs my good listening skills. 

“I’m good at making observations about people and the world around me. I think deeply and carefully craft what I say.”

Paul Brian

Paul Brian

Paul R. Brian is a freelance journalist and writer who has reported from around the world, focusing on religion, culture and geopolitics. Follow him on www.twitter.com/paulrbrian and visit his website at www.paulrbrian.com

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