If you recognize these 10 signs, your relationship is probably going to last

For a relationship to last forever, love is simply not enough.

Let’s face it, if we’re not willing to put in the work to grow together, it’s highly possible to drift apart through the years. 

And while we can’t control everything in this life, there are signs that indicate we’re on the right track when it comes to our romantic relationships.

How can you tell if you’ve already met your forever person?

Look out for these 9 signs!

1) You genuinely enjoy each other’s company

You have shared hobbies. 

You explore, invent, create, and learn together.

You travel a lot, too.

But even if you’re just at home doing absolutely nothing, you both still enjoy it.

I remember Mia in Pulp Fiction:

She said: “That’s when you know you’ve found somebody special. When you can just shut the f*ck up for a minute and comfortably enjoy the silence.”

I’ll share my experience. When I was with my ex, I felt uneasy when we’re silent.

I wanted him to say something—anything—just to distract us from just how incompatible we were.

You see, our issues became clearer when we were just alone. 

With friends, we were usually fine. We even had a lot of fun!

But having other people around us was the buffer distracting us from the friction. 

So if you feel totally at ease with your partner—and if you actually love hanging out with them—you’ve probably already found the one.

2) You can be totally honest with each other

They tell you everything, and you tell them everything…

And no one feels judged!

In fact, you know each other’s deepest and darkest secrets and you love them even more for it.

You both feel like you can be totally yourself with each other.

You share kinks and wildest dreams—things they’d never even tell their best friends. And you have this unwritten pact that you’ll be each other’s secret keeper.

You feel safe to let out your silliest, dorkiest side too—from that childhood cartoon you still love to watch until now, to stamp collection.  

If you both feel safe and accepted in your relationship,  you’ve found “home” in each other..and your relationship is probably going to last.

3) Your relationship keeps getting better

The relationships that last a lifetime aren’t the ones that are perfect from the get go. 

There’s no such thing!

After the honeymoon phase fades, you start to see each other’s flaws…and because of this, you’d have a lot of petty fights and issues.

What makes a relationship last long is the ability of the couple to work on their differences and become better—as individuals, and as a team.

So…can you honestly say that you’ve become better with communication? With sex? With the chores? With handling finances? With handling each other’s moods?

Can you say that, overall, your partnership has improved a lot?

If you can say that you’re both growing into understanding each other better and being supportive of each other, then you’re probably going to last.

4) You know how to fight fair

Once upon a time, when you were much younger, every fight was a “red flag”.

“If we’re really meant to be, then why are we fighting?,” you used to ask.

But as you get older, it becomes part of the package. 

What’s changed though is that you both have become better at handling conflict.

You notice that:

  • You’re able to communicate using respectful language
  • You respect each other’s differences
  • You don’t feel attacked when they express themselves
  • You know how to repair and bond
  • Neither one of you feels abused or unloved

A relationship that lasts isn’t one that never has issues, it’s when both of you are able to work as a team to understand each other.

5) You match each other’s need for space and togetherness

signs you have an emotionally healthy relationship according to psychology If you recognize these 10 signs, your relationship is probably going to last

Imagine a Venn diagram: Some couples share 20% of their lives and are happy with just 20%. But it can make others feel inadequate.

And some give 90% of their time but the other feels suffocated.

Even if you’re both good non-toxic people, if your need for space and togetherness is vastly different, one of you is bound to be unsatisfied. 

I had an ex who would get upset if I went out with friends and message me “You didn’t miss me?!”

I told that to a friend in a long-term relationship and he said, “My partner asks me that too and I honestly miss her and I’d take her with me all the time if I could.” 

While they may have struggled to figure it out at the start, those who find the sweet spot—the perfect ratio of giving each other space and togetherness, are the ones who last.

6) You’re building a life together

You have plants.

You have pets.

You have a massive book and vinyl collection.

More than that, you have shared bills, shared grocery lists, and an excel sheet of your life goals, expenses, and schedules.

And you don’t feel drained doing any of these things!

In fact, you both actually enjoy planning and organizing and building your life.

Even your dream car and home is based on a combination of your personalities and passions. 

While having space to grow as individuals is important, if you’re not looking in the same direction, you might one day find yourself feeling like your partner is a stranger. 

So if you’re making plans and contributions to a future together, then you’ll both reap the benefits of a lasting relationship.

7) You “get” each other

Because you’re compatible and because you know them so well, you no longer need so many words to understand each other.

When you see him starting to scratch the top of his head, you know he’s about to reach the peak of his tolerance for annoyance… and so you slide in so he can take a breather.

And he knows that a few days before your period, you need more space (but also cuddles) and delicious food.

You don’t have to explain yourself each time because they already know you—and they’re almost always accurate.

And when they’re feeling a bit blue, they don’t have to utter a single word because you already know why.

They even know when to come in to give you a hug, and what ice cream you need to feel like the world is okay again.

And while some people might luck out on having a relationship like this, most of us worked on it together—one question, and one conversation at a time.

8) You care for each other’s personal growth and happiness

Some people forget their partners have a life of their own.

That they’re a child to elderly parents, a supportive friend, a colleague, or a boss. 

But partners who want to be the center of each others’ solar system end up losing balance in their life.

Couples who last forever support each other through all the roles they have to play: 

  • They help each other plan social gatherings
  • They support each others’ extended family, so if their partner’s dad is in the hospital, they offer to take a turn.
  • They shuffle errands when their partner has a big work presentation
  • They both take care of their health and manage stress during the toughest times
  • They allow each other time to rejuvenate in solitude

So if you’ve been able to support each other through juggling each other’s multiple roles with finesse, even if not always perfectly, your relationship will last.

9) You both know how to commit

Even the most loving couple would not last long if they don’t know how to commit.

And it’s not always about marriage and kids but simply being on the same page about future plans.

If you’re in an open-relationship, for example, you’ve defined what that means to both of you.

You’ve set your expectations and limitations so that you’d both be happy.

Commitment also comes with these basics:

Do you see all of these in your relationship? 

Then your relationship is probably going to last!

10) You’re both mature people 

The success of a relationship boils down to the level of maturity of each partner and how you are both willing to learn.

How do you know if your relationship is a mature one?

  • You’re responsible financially, physically, emotionally, socially.
  • You both cultivate self-awareness
  • You both know how to regulate your emotions
  • You support each other through trauma recovery and healing (with experts if needed)

And while there will be times when you need to compensate (say when a partner has an illness), in general, if you are both doing your fair share, your relationship is for keeps.

Final thougts:

When life gets tough, having a reliable partner is a blessing.

So choose a partner who’ll be there through thick and thin…someone who’s there for the long haul.

To have a loving relationship is a magical experience, but to make it last, both partners need to balance realism and optimism.

Did you see most of these signs on your partner? Then you’re one lucky chap. 

But if he only checked a couple of boxes. Don’t worry.

Real love takes time…and a lot of work from both of you, of course.

Picture of Isabella Chase

Isabella Chase

Isabella Chase, a New York City native, writes about the complexities of modern life and relationships. Her articles draw from her experiences navigating the vibrant and diverse social landscape of the city. Isabella’s insights are about finding harmony in the chaos and building strong, authentic connections in a fast-paced world.

Enhance your experience of Ideapod and join Tribe, our community of free thinkers and seekers.

Related articles

Most read articles

Get our articles

Ideapod news, articles, and resources, sent straight to your inbox every month.

0:00
0:00