If you recognize these 9 signs, people respect you a lot more than you think

Respect is vital, but it’s not always easy to find. 

Far too many people approach you with a kind smile and encouraging words but they don’t mean it. 

Others, meanwhile, give you respect and they’re not faking any of it. They really value you and want you in their life. 

So what are the signs that you’re a person many people genuinely respect and admire?

The following is a look at the behaviors that show that people truly respect you.

1) People really listen to you

When you state your opinion or assessment, there’s no need for others to agree or fall in line. 

But they listen.

They hear what you say and they care for real. They remember details of what you’ve said as well. 

“Listening makes up a key part of respect!” notes Laura Richer.  

“Set expectations for how you’d like to communicate, and let the person or people know you can wait until they’re finished with what they’re doing before talking”

2) People care about your problems

You don’t go around seeking sympathy or trying to get attention for your problems. 

But like anyone, you have situations where you’re at your wit’s end or you’re facing a real problem: whether it’s a looming eviction, a health scare or relationship drama. 

When you bring up these subjects or people see that you are struggling, they respond:

They do their best to actually provide support and be there for you, not out of obligation or to get a reward, but voluntarily and authentically. 

This brings up the next point:

3) People support you when you’re struggling or in need

It’s not only that most people care about when you’re going through a hard time: 

Even more importantly, they actually want to help you and take steps to be there for you and show up in a real way. 

They want to find a way to lighten your load, even if it’s just a little. They want to understand what you need, if anything. 

In a relationship context this can be especially crucial. 

As relationship writer Sylvia Smith observes:

“They can detect when you have a need, and they will surprise you by providing for it.”

4) People keep their word with you

The majority of people in your life keep their word when they make a commitment to you. 

They show up on time and apologize and explain if they can’t.

They make future plans with you and follow through on those future plans. If they fall short in some way they try to make up for it and they hope you forgive them. 

People clearly see you as somebody they shouldn’t disrespect.

As Richer writes:

“Watch out for broken promises, which signal a lack of respect.”

5) People respect your boundaries 

Folks don’t take anything for granted with you and they respect your boundaries. 

When you need some time and space alone, they give that to you with no questions asked. When you tell them to stop putting pressure on you about something they do that. 

At work, the majority of your colleagues and supervisors also respect your boundaries, taking into account your feedback and criticisms. 

If a project is stressing you out a lot, they do their best to work around it and find solutions. 

6) People are grateful for your help and advice

When you give help and advice to other people, they don’t take it for granted

They are truly grateful for the time and energy you expend on their behalf and for your wisdom and input that you provide. 

They cherish what you tell them and take it into account. Even if they don’t agree or follow your advice, they appreciate the time, expertise and life experience that went into your advice. 

As Lara Rutherford-Morrison writes:

“When your partner is going through something difficult or touchy and asks for your advice, he or she is showing that they respect you and value your opinion. 

They might not take your advice, but they take what you have to say under serious consideration.”

7) People are accountable to you

When people mess up around you, they say sorry and they do their best to make amends. 

They are accountable to you and honest with you:

The majority of people in your life do not try to scam you, mislead you or pool the wool over your eyes. You quickly spot and bypass gaslighters and abusive people in your life, leaving only those who really respect you. 

They may not all be ideally kind or wonderful people (after all, life has all kinds of folks!) but almost everyone around you respects you, tells the truth and does their best to make up for any mistakes or incorrect information they provide you.

As this video from High Value Men notes, when people apologize voluntarily and try to make amends with you (even if you didn’t bring it up), it shows they really respect you. 

YouTube video

8) People are adaptable to your schedule and priorities

It’s not that everyone bends over backwards for you, but they do try to shift around their schedule and make things work for you. 

This is especially meaningful if you notice that many folks do this more for you than they do generally. 

Whereas they may be somewhat helpful and accommodating to everyone, with you they go the extra mile in a way that goes far beyond just your social status, wealth, looks or outer role in society.

Make no mistake: 

This accommodating behavior means people respect you. 

“Even the biggest selfish assholes might be inclined to help people who command high respect,” notes Akshad Singi.

“And hence, if you feel the world is very helpful, it’s a sign that you command high respect”

9) People aren’t afraid to stand up to you and criticize you constructively

People don’t patronize you. 

They are willing to stand up to you, disagree with you and provide constructive criticism. 

Basically this means they respect you enough to tell you the hard truth and be straight with you, instead of trying to spare your feelings or go easy on you. 

You’re not a glass flower or a person they consider especially fragile or needing to treat carefully. They’ll be willing to let you know how they really feel. 

“People who respect you will understand that you have different opinions sometimes and might not agree, but can still appreciate your viewpoint,” writes Andrea Greb.

“They also aren’t afraid that you’ll crumble when challenged.”

10) The mark of true respect

The mark of true respect is that most people care about what you think, feel and need and accommodate you in their lives. 

They include you and want you around in a way that shows they value you and care about your humanity. 

True respect comes to those who respect themselves and are willing to stand up for themselves. It comes when you are willing to be disliked and don’t seek respect: it’s just a given that you’ll be respected because it’s how you operate.

As Terina Allen writes:

“People respect people who respect themselves and value their own needs. 

When you avoid conflict, you send a message that your needs are inferior to another’s. 

When you do it excessively, people come to expect that you will certainly accommodate and prioritize their needs over your own.”

Picture of Paul Brian

Paul Brian

Paul R. Brian is a freelance journalist and writer who has reported from around the world, focusing on religion, culture and geopolitics. Follow him on www.twitter.com/paulrbrian and visit his website at www.paulrbrian.com

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