If you notice these 10 behaviors in someone, they’re probably not a very kind person

We all like to believe we’re great judges of character, but sometimes, it’s not so easy to spot the unkind ones among us.

Meanness can often be subtle and masked behind smiles and sweet words. It’s not always an obvious display of rudeness or cruelty.

So, how can you tell if someone isn’t as kind as they seem? Well, their behavior is usually the giveaway.

In this article, we’ll explore a few telltale behaviors that could indicate someone might not be as kind-hearted as they portray.

Let’s dive in and learn how to spot these signs.

1) Frequent criticism

Criticism is a part of life. We all face it, and sometimes, it’s even constructive and helpful.

But there’s a fine line between constructive criticism and unnecessary negativity.

If you come across someone who has a habit of criticizing others frequently and without reason, it’s not a good sign.

This behavior often indicates a lack of kindness.

Unkind people tend to criticize others to bring them down or make themselves feel superior.

They’re more likely to focus on other people’s flaws than their strengths.

So, if you notice someone constantly pointing out the negatives in others, take note.

This behavior could be a red flag that they’re not as kind as they might seem.

2) Lack of empathy

Empathy, the ability to understand and share the feelings of others, is a key trait of kind people.

But what if you notice its absence in someone’s behavior?

I once knew a person who seemed friendly on the surface.

But over time, I noticed they rarely showed any empathy towards others.

When a mutual friend was going through a tough time, they seemed indifferent and even dismissive.

This lack of empathy was a clear sign that they weren’t as kind as they initially appeared.

It’s a subtle sign, but one that speaks volumes about a person’s character.

So watch out for those who struggle to show empathy. It might indicate they’re not as kind-hearted as they seem.

3) They’re often ungrateful

Gratitude is a fundamental trait of kind-hearted individuals.

They appreciate the things and people in their life, and they aren’t shy about expressing it.

However, there are those who rarely show gratitude, even when they should.

They might take things for granted or fail to acknowledge the efforts of others.

Ungrateful people are often more unhappy and unsatisfied in life.

This could be because they focus more on what they lack than what they have.

So, if you encounter someone who seldom says ‘thank you’, or doesn’t seem to appreciate what they’ve got, it’s a potential sign of an unkind nature.

4) They’re constantly interrupting

Interruption during conversations is another behavior to watch out for.

Kind people respect others and value their opinions. They listen attentively and respond accordingly.

However, someone who constantly interrupts others during conversations could be showing signs of disrespect.

They’re indirectly communicating that their words or ideas are more important than yours.

If you notice someone frequently engaging in this behavior, it might be a sign that they lack kindness.

After all, a truly kind person would respect your right to express your thoughts without interruption.

5) They spread gossip

They never spread gossip If you notice these 10 behaviors in someone, they're probably not a very kind person

Gossiping is another behavior that’s a clear sign of unkindness.

Kind people respect others’ privacy and avoid involving themselves in petty gossip.

Someone who constantly spreads rumors or shares private information about others is showing a lack of respect.

This behavior can cause harm and create unnecessary drama.

If you encounter a person who loves to gossip, it might be worth reconsidering their character.

A truly kind person would steer clear of such behavior.

6) They don’t offer help

One of the most beautiful aspects of kindness is its ability to inspire us to help others, even when it’s not convenient.

Kind people often go out of their way to lend a helping hand.

They don’t wait to be asked, they see a need and respond.

However, if you notice someone rarely offers help, or only does so when there’s something in it for them, it can be a sign of unkindness.

Remember, a kind heart finds joy in helping others, not because they have to, but because they genuinely want to.

It’s this selflessness that sets kind people apart.

7) They’re dismissive of others’ feelings

We’ve all experienced moments of vulnerability, where we open up about our feelings.

In such moments, we hope for understanding and empathy.

I recall a time when I shared my fears and insecurities with someone I considered a friend.

Instead of offering comfort or understanding, they dismissed my feelings as trivial.

They told me to ‘get over it’ and ‘stop being so sensitive’.

This lack of empathy and understanding was not only hurtful but also a clear sign of their unkind nature.

Dismissing or invalidating someone’s feelings is neither kind nor respectful.

So, if you notice someone behaving this way, it’s a strong indication that they might not be as kind as they appear.

8) They’re excessively nice

Sounds odd, doesn’t it?

But sometimes, someone who seems overly nice could actually be masking unkindness.

Kindness is genuine and comes from the heart.

However, some people use excessive niceness as a tool to manipulate others or hide their true nature.

So if someone’s niceness feels forced or over the top, it might be worth taking a closer look.

Authentic kindness doesn’t need to be loud or showy.

It’s often quiet, consistent, and feels natural. Remember, appearances can be deceiving.

9) They hold grudges

Kind people are forgiving and understanding.

They realize that everyone makes mistakes and believe in second chances.

However, someone who holds grudges and struggles to let go of past wrongs might not be as kind as they seem.

They may dwell on past slights or mistakes, refusing to forgive or move on.

This can manifest in various ways, such as passive-aggressive behavior or a refusal to communicate.

So if you notice someone holding onto grudges, it could be a sign of underlying unkindness.

After all, kindness often comes with the ability to forgive and forget.

10) They treat people differently based on status

The ultimate test of a person’s kindness is how they treat others, regardless of status or position.

Kindness is universal; it doesn’t discriminate.

If you see someone treating people differently based on their status, power, or wealth, it’s a clear sign of unkindness.

They might be nice to their superiors, but dismissive or rude to those they perceive as ‘below’ them.

Remember, real kindness extends to everyone, not just those who can offer something in return.

It’s this indiscriminate kindness that truly defines a kind person.

At the heart of it: Kindness is a choice

When all’s said and done, kindness is a deeply personal choice. It’s a reflection of who we are at our core.

The behaviors we’ve discussed aren’t definitive proof of someone’s unkindness, but they certainly serve as indicators.

They give us a window into a person’s character, a glimpse of their heart.

Kindness isn’t shown through grand gestures.

It’s shown through compassion, empathy, and respect for others, regardless of who they are or what they can give us in return.

As the famous saying goes, “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.”

This timeless wisdom reminds us that true kindness is universal. It doesn’t discriminate or hold grudges.

Picture of Ethan Sterling

Ethan Sterling

Ethan Sterling has a background in entrepreneurship, having started and managed several small businesses. His journey through the ups and downs of entrepreneurship provides him with practical insights into personal resilience, strategic thinking, and the value of persistence. Ethan’s articles offer real-world advice for those looking to grow personally and professionally.

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