If you notice these 9 subtle behaviors, your partner might not trust you

Trust is the cornerstone of any relationship. But sometimes, it’s not as rock-solid as we’d like it to be.

Ever wondered if your partner truly trusts you? Sometimes, it’s not about the big blow-ups or dramatic confessions. Often, it’s the subtle behaviors that give it away.

These are the small signs that your partner might not trust you, and they can be easy to overlook. But if you know what to look for, these signs can help you understand where your relationship stands.

Here are nine subtle behaviors that might suggest your partner doesn’t trust you as much as you thought.

Let’s get started. 

1) Unnecessary defensiveness

No relationship is free of arguments, but the way we respond to disagreements says a lot about our level of trust.

If your partner often reacts defensively to simple questions or conversations, this could be a red flag. This kind of unnecessary defensiveness might be an indicator that they’re not feeling secure in the relationship.

Defensiveness can stem from feeling threatened or under attack, and if your partner is constantly feeling this way, it might be because they lack trust in you or the relationship you share.

So next time you have a conversation, pay attention to how your partner responds. If they’re quicker to defend than discuss, it might be time for a deeper conversation about trust.

But don’t forget, approach the topic with understanding and patience. It’s not about blaming, but about bridging gaps in your relationship.

2) They’re always checking up on you

In my own experience, I’ve found that a partner who is constantly checking up on you might be struggling with trust issues.

There was a time in my relationship when my partner would frequently call or text, asking about my whereabouts or what I was doing. At first, I thought it was sweet and caring. But as it became more frequent and intense, it started to feel less like concern and more like control.

I remember one particular day when I was out with friends. My phone was buzzing every few minutes with texts from my partner, each one demanding to know what I was doing, who I was with, and when I’d be home. It was suffocating.

That’s when it clicked – this wasn’t normal behavior. It wasn’t about caring; it was about trust, or rather, the lack of it.

If your partner is always keen to know your every move, it could be a sign they’re wrestling with trust issues.

It’s essential to have a conversation about this to address any underlying insecurities they may have.

3) They don’t share important information with you

One of the hallmarks of a trusting relationship is openness about important events or decisions. If your partner consistently leaves you out of the loop on significant matters, it could signal a lack of trust.

A study by the University of Georgia found that one of the key indicators of a healthy relationship is transparency. Couples who share information, particularly about important matters, generally have higher levels of satisfaction and trust in their relationship.

But if your partner regularly makes big decisions or goes through major life events without involving you, it could be a sign they don’t trust your judgment or input.

It’s worth addressing this behavior to understand why they feel the need to keep you in the dark.

4) They avoid eye contact

Eye contact is one of the most fundamental forms of nonverbal communication. It’s a way to connect, to show empathy, and to build trust.

However, if your partner often avoids making eye contact with you, especially during serious conversations, it could be a subtle sign of distrust. This behavior might suggest they’re either hiding something or they’re not fully confident in you.

Communication is more than just words; it involves our whole body language.

So if your partner’s eyes are frequently darting away or they seem unable to hold your gaze, it might be time to have a heart-to-heart about what’s really going on.

5) They’re overly protective of their devices

We all value our privacy, and it’s entirely normal to have some personal space, even in a relationship. But there’s a difference between privacy and secrecy.

If your partner is overly protective of their phone, laptop, or any other personal devices, constantly keeping them locked or out of your sight, it might be a sign of distrust.

Maybe they’re worried about you snooping around or they’re hiding something themselves. Either way, this behavior can create a barrier in your relationship.

It’s crucial to discuss this issue openly, stressing the importance of trust and transparency over suspicion and secrecy. Privacy is essential, but so is trust in any relationship.

6) They hesitate in confiding in you

One of the most beautiful aspects of a relationship is having someone with whom you can share your deepest fears, hopes, and dreams. Someone who you know will hold your confessions with care.

But if your partner hesitates to confide in you or share their feelings, it could be a sign they don’t fully trust you. Trust is about feeling secure enough to be vulnerable, to show our true selves without fear of judgment or betrayal.

If you notice your partner often holding back or brushing off opportunities to open up emotionally, it could be a sign they’re not feeling that sense of trust.

It’s important to assure them that they’re safe with you, that their feelings and experiences are valid and respected.

Building trust takes time, but it’s worth every moment for a stronger, deeper connection.

7) They struggle to say “I love you”

These three words can carry a lot of weight. They’re a proclamation of trust, a testament to the bond you share. But if you find your partner struggling to say “I love you,” it could be a sign of deeper issues.

I recall a time when I felt my partner pulling away, avoiding those three words like they were some kind of trap. It felt as though they were putting up walls, distancing themselves emotionally. It was an uncomfortable period, seeing the person I cared for struggle with something so fundamental.

This hesitation can sometimes stem from past hurts or fear of vulnerability, but it can also be a sign they’re not entirely comfortable or trusting in the relationship.

It’s crucial to approach this issue with sensitivity. Encourage open communication and reassure them that it’s okay to express their feelings when they’re ready. Trust is built on honesty and understanding, after all.

8) They’re often skeptical

A healthy dose of skepticism can be beneficial, but if your partner is constantly doubting your actions or questioning your motives, it could indicate a lack of trust.

You might notice they’re always second-guessing you, or they seem suspicious of your intentions. This constant doubt can put a strain on the relationship, creating an atmosphere of unease and tension.

It’s essential to address this issue openly. Discuss why they’re feeling this way and reassure them of your genuine intentions.

Trust is built on understanding and communication. It’s about believing in each other, even when things get tough.

9) They avoid future plans

When you’re in a relationship with someone, you naturally start picturing a future together. Planning for a vacation, discussing career moves, or even just thinking about where to spend the holidays – these are all part of a shared future.

But if your partner consistently avoids talking about the future or making plans together, it might be a sign that they’re not fully invested in the relationship. It could indicate a lack of trust or commitment, which can undermine the connection you share.

Understanding this behavior is crucial in identifying trust issues in your relationship.

It’s important to have open conversations about your shared future and ensure both of you feel secure and committed.

Building trust takes time, but it’s the foundation of any lasting relationship.

Final thoughts: It’s all about communication

Navigating the intricate map of human relationships is no easy task. Trust, being one of its fundamental elements, can often be delicate and complex to decipher.

These subtle behaviors are signs to look out for, but they don’t necessarily confirm a lack of trust. They’re cues, signals for you to initiate a conversation.

Dr. John Gottman, renowned psychologist and researcher on marital stability, emphasizes the importance of communication in building trust.

He says that trust is built in very small moments and these moments need open and honest communication.

So if you notice these behaviors in your partner, don’t jump to conclusions. Instead, use them as an opportunity to communicate more effectively. Open a dialogue with your partner about your concerns and their feelings.

Remember, trust isn’t built overnight. It takes time, patience, and consistent effort. But the result is a stronger, deeper bond that makes every challenge worth overcoming.

At the end of the day, it’s all about understanding each other better and nurturing a relationship where trust can thrive. It’s about journeying together through life’s ups and downs, hand in hand, with unwavering faith in each other.

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Picture of Tina Fey

Tina Fey

I've ridden the rails, gone off track and lost my train of thought. I'm writing for Ideapod to try and find it again. Hope you enjoy the journey with me.

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