Noisy neighbors, annoying coworkers, car troubles, and bills, bills, bills. Our lives are chock-full of distractions, background noises, and never-ending commitments.
Sometimes it can be difficult to concentrate – never mind find peace.
I know, I know. It’s enough to make you go cuckoo, right?
The thing is, it’s all part of the rat race that is modern life.
But here’s the sad truth.
That’s not what’s holding you back. No. It’s YOU! Everything else is just an excuse.
If you want to remedy that, you need to think about all the things that cause you to worry – and stop. Then, and only then, will you truly be at peace.
Let me break it down for you.
1) You’ve learned to let go of past mistakes
Our past experiences help shape us as people. And making mistakes is how we learn to improve and grow.
But let me ask you this – how often do you lie awake at night thinking about the past?
Hey, we’ve all been there. One minute we’re drifting off to dreamland. Then, the next, we’re back in that unhappy place.
Maybe you’re replaying that embarrassing conversation you had earlier in the day. Or perhaps it’s something deeper – a trauma from your childhood.
It’s like you’re actually there. You’re angry, regretful, guilty, and questioning every single decision you’ve made up to this point.
You’re spiraling. And those past experiences are causing you some major anxiety.
At least – that’s how you used to feel.
Look, we all make bad choices at some point in time. Truth is, it’s in the past. And that’s where it needs to stay.
Luckily for you, you’ve learned to accept that. Most of all, you’re finally at peace with it.
Liberated, even.
2) You no longer hold grudges
Just like clasping onto your past mistakes, grudges can be just as damaging.
In fact, it’s downright self-sabotage. It may even be affecting your health.
At least that’s what the experts say.
According to the professionals, holding onto resentment and hostility makes you more likely to suffer from anxiety, migraines, insomnia, and strokes. It can even affect your heart health.
So what’s the good news?
Well, apparently, forgiveness and self-forgiveness can be extremely healing. Best of all, it’s been proven to promote cognitive resilience in adulthood.
Listen – I understand. It can be difficult to let go.
But at the end of the day, that ego isn’t going to help you find peace.
Ultimately, serenity starts with some self-reflection – and a whole lot of self-care.
Something you’ve become a master at.
3) Venomously gossiping about others
Let’s face it. Gossip can be incredibly toxic. And all the drama it causes can play havoc on your mental well-being.
That said, discussing other people is natural. In fact, it’s a basic conversation skill.
The truth is, gossiping isn’t always a bad thing. It can actually be a positive way to share information, get feedback, and build connections through cultural learning.
It comes down to intention.
And when you use it maliciously, or you’re actively spreading rumors that aren’t true. You’re entering into dangerous territory.
Not to mention, a whole heap of trouble.
So, if you truly want to find peace, avoid gossip and the drama that goes with it.
Thankfully, these days, you focus on fostering positive relationships through personal growth and kindness to others.
And you do this by practicing empathy and understanding.
4) Seeking approval from your peers
Nowadays we’re all at it.
Swiping, liking, commenting. It’s difficult not to get swept away by the social feedback loop that is Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter (sorry, I mean X).
And let’s face it. Social media is a large part of how we communicate, share memories, and get validation from our peers.
The trouble is, despite all the positives, there are also a lot of negatives. Namely, your self-esteem.
But it doesn’t stop there.
Approval-seeking behavior, on or offline, can have dire consequences on your mental health. Not forgetting your peace of mind.
Think about it. If you’re constantly on your phone garnering likes. Or you can’t make a decision without the approval from others – simply put – that’s not living.
And quite frankly, it’s draining.
But if there’s one thing you’ve learned to ditch on your path to enlightenment – it’s that people-pleasing is not the answer.
In response, you’ve replaced the need for external approval with self-acceptance and self-love.
5) Comparing yourself to others
Similar to approval seeking, we often compare ourselves to others.
Of course, this behavior isn’t inherently bad. In fact, it does have some benefits.
But like most things in life, too much of a specific behavior can be bad for you.
Called the social comparison theory, psychologists suggest that, when someone relies too heavily on social comparisons, it can have a negative effect on their self-esteem.
By this, I mean we focus more on our shortcomings. Instead, we should be embracing our uniqueness and self-worth.
Additionally, this state of mind often leads to a distorted self-perception and negative body image.
As a result, it can erode your sense of fulfillment and joy. Not to mention, it makes you resentful of those you perceive to be better.
However, in the interests of peace, you’ve learned to build a positive self-image and set yourself realistic benchmarks.
And by focusing on your achievements and strengths instead, you’re much happier and more content for it.
6) Being a perfectionist
We all strive to be better. And most of the time, that’s absolutely fine.
But when it becomes an obsession, or it causes you to procrastinate out of fear, this need for perfection can do more harm than good.
Not to mention “perfect” is totally unrealistic.
Think about that for a minute. By holding yourself to unattainable standards, you’re only setting yourself up for failure.
Something that’s only going to deflate your self-esteem and overall well-being in the long run.
Now hear me out. I’m not saying you shouldn’t aim high.
But as you, yourself, have learned. To achieve a peaceful mindset, you need to aim for progress and not perfection.
7) The unknown
The future can be a scary thought. Especially when you don’t have a fixed plan in place.
Be it your health, job security, or the longevity of your newly founded relationship. Not knowing can eat you up inside.
In turn, that ambiguity feeds your anxiety and fills you with endless “what-ifs”.
That’s if you let it, anyway.
Peace is about acceptance, embracing uncertainty, and living in the here and now.
Not only that, but experts believe being present and mindful can actually make you happier – a core ingredient to achieving inner calm.
After all, achieving peace is an ongoing process. It’s not about erasing everything that’s bad.
And if you’re truly at peace, you already know this all too well.
