Half a year ago, I was journaling like a madman.
About how I needed change, and about all the things I wanted to manifest.
Now sitting here, I can look back and see how some changes I perceived were all in my head. Keeping me like a hamster on a wheel.
Don’t get me wrong – they served their purpose in keeping me motivated.
But the real shifts that took me into a new cycle of life didn’t happen until I did a full 180 and went against everything I once knew.
A part of that was letting go of habits that kept me feeling like someone I had outgrown.
Here are 10 of them to help you bring your desires into the physical world.
1) Doing things out of comfort
I’m not saying you need to start suffering.
But really start identifying what comforts are keeping you numb, and what keeps you sane. In other words, what makes you feel better and what helps you feel present.
Because when you want a new life, you’re really asking for a better perspective because the one you’re wearing is wearing thin.
Something somewhere within you knows that whatever you’re doing isn’t working.
Not to mention, new and comfort are practically antonyms. They’re like cousins that don’t get along at Christmas.
So start noticing, and be diligent with it – eventually you’ll feel like an ingredient in a witch’s cauldron who’s just gained sentience and wants to jump out.
2) Being mindlessly negative
As I grew my awareness, I found myself being especially negative towards things that challenged my current reality.
And sometimes the biggest leap of faith was just telling my own ego to take a chill pill and a nap.
I should also mention that being negative is a part of being human. Without it, we wouldn’t know what needs improvement or confrontation.
That’s just it though, it should be something that is used as a tool.
But being mindless with it can lead to more problems that affect the way you look at life and your relationships.
So instead of just venting or being negative to blow off some steam, find healthier ways to express it by getting to the bottom of it.
These will likely be areas of your life that require the most letting go of.
3) Making assumptions
As someone whose mind never shuts up, I’ve had to grow the courage to not listen to everything I thought.
Paying attention to what I agreed and didn’t agree with myself was actually what helped me discover my values as well!
Your fears just want to keep you comfortable and convince you that you’re right all the time.
At my lowest, I made a lot of pessimistic assumptions about people to keep myself from opening up to new connections. Or new jobs!
It was hard to snap out of it.
But then I realized it’s either I think I’m always right and hate everyone, or be proven wrong and enjoy life again.
As much as I love being right, I knew I was ready for a new life when I chose happiness over my ego.
4) Holding onto grudges and refusing to forgive
Forgiving anyone on your own time is crucial.
But once I realized that to forgive is to believe that change is possible, it completely transformed the way I saw it.
It’s not easy balancing your boundaries towards a toxic person and not allowing it to turn into a grudge.
My two cents is to remember that it’s all about not allowing your past to dictate your future, not being a saint.
And not allowing the people who have hurt you to have so much control over your trust!
So allow your instincts and intuition to work together.
Leave the past in the past, but practice pushing past your fears when something within you is telling you to open up.
5) Not actively listening during conversations
You have to make room for new people if you want to truly expand as a person.
Otherwise, you’ll just end up being a shell of a human with achievements and material possessions as stuffing.
If you want to start being open but don’t know where to start, take it one step at a time. And focus on becoming a better listener – and everything will sort of work itself out from there.
At the least, it will show you where it could work itself.
This also includes making the effort to meet new kinds of people that you aren’t used to, as well as comfortably saying no if you want to and not overthinking it.
In other words, don’t dwell too much on your interactions and just go with the flow.
There’s literally over 8 billion people on this planet – you’ll be okay.
6) Procrastinating important tasks
Especially if you’re still young and learning to be more responsible.
Going from having zero responsibilities to having to make your own doctor’s appointments can feel like life’s betrayed you at first.
For me, once I started accepting that there’s no way around growing up, I began to see how good accomplishing these errand-type tasks are.
Not to mention, these types of tasks are the ones that move your life forward.
For example, applying for a visa or job!
These are what will physically move your life to the next level that your affirmations and mind can’t do.
If it’s any comfort, it does get easier as you do it. And like everything, you’ll start to find tips and tricks on how to adult like a champ.
There’s a lot of joy to be felt in sitting with your friends and just sharing life hacks.
7) Neglecting self-care and your overall well-being
Sometimes our biggest enemy is our physical habits.
For example, when I used to not value sleep, I would be confused as to why I never had energy. Same goes for my eating habits that didn’t serve me any good.
You can slay all the bad demons that live in your head and cut off all the negativity.
But if you don’t have the physical energy, you won’t get very far into your new life.
Similar to staying on top of my responsibilities, I found that feeling in control of my body really helped me gain the confidence to try more new things.
It’s not a surprise that anxiety and your physical health are closely knitted once you start taking it seriously.
And I kid you not, you will open up a whole new world of opportunities once your brain starts braining.
8) Constantly seeking external validation
When you’re the gender neutral king of your own life, it makes self-validation second nature.
One of the biggest ways you create “energy leaks” and holes in your confidence is by seeking external approval.
This is another one of those things that we all have to grow out of. If you don’t, that’s when you’ll get stuck mentally in high school with a hive mindset.
You can try journaling and other exercises that can help you connect with yourself.
But truthfully, I found that this is something that just happens when you start taking risks.
It’s how I started valuing my own opinions and choices over everything else. Therefore feeling more satisfied from ignoring all the noise than peeping a listen.
Not to mention, you get back so much of your time once you do this.
9) Comparing yourself to others
This is another way your brain distracts you from what you could be doing.
Again, it’s just noise, not a reflection of your truth.
It helps to first just make a habit of stopping your thoughts from going in that direction by becoming mindful.
But it’s also about reflecting on your life and how it all came to be.
If you hadn’t taken all those twists and turns that make your life yours, you wouldn’t be where you are.
So not comparing yourself to others also means investing your time to think about how unique all our journeys are.
And respecting that.
Once you can comfortably grasp this, that’s when you’ll feel ready to set goals that remind you that you’re right on time.
10) Being overly critical and setting unrealistic standards
Time to listen to Vienna by Billy Joel – dream on but don’t expect them to all come true.
Take this as an opportunity to realize that goals are meant to take you somewhere, but you won’t always get to decide where that is.
That’s a blessing.
Meaning it’s okay to switch lanes because you learned something new along the way. With time, you’ll begin to view these pivots as improving your path, not as setbacks.
This is the habit that will be a litmus test of sorts.
Because once you can comfortably see life’s ups and downs with a sense of ease, that’s a sign you’ve been in a whole new life cycle and didn’t even know it.
When in doubt, just do something out of character.
It can be as small as taking a different route to work.
Relish in how change can be something that gives an edge of novelty to your life. And how it makes your senses perk up and pay attention.
Then do it again and again, until you feel ready to do what you actually want to do.
The thing that will permanently change your life for good!
They don’t say that “madness is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results” for nothing!
This is your sign to be sane again.
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